How the hell do I get my kid to stop sh!tting his pants?!

mamarazzi

He used to poop on the potty.  In fact, he pooped before he peed on it.  So why is he constantly dropping deuces in diapers/underwear/Pull Ups now?  He's potty trained, but waits to poop until he has a few minutes alone -- usually while I'm in the shower or he's in his bed.

We've talked about it ad nauseum.  We've tried bribery and promises of rewards.  We've discussed that babies poop in their pants and babies don't get to do what big boys can do.

I'm at my wit's end.  It's just a battle of wills at this point and I don't know how to get through to him.

Any advice?

NikiGee

I wish I had an answer for you but we're in the same exact boat.  I am so tired, frustrated, etc. right now.  At my wit's end too.  I'm curious what others say.

breezee_bean

Maybe start taking away favorite toys? 

gibs

Sure.  Chill the F out.  You're driving him crazy. Your post sounds like a crazy lady.  give it a rest.  Put him in diapers.  Take away his underwear.  Wait a while. 

mamarazzi

gibs:

Sure.  Chill the F out.  You're driving him crazy. Your post sounds like a crazy lady.  give it a rest.  Put him in diapers.  Take away his underwear.  Wait a while. 

Oh, gibs.  Always so helpful.

annak23

Take away favorite toys, special outtings, any treats, etc.

Or you could get him a toy he really really wants & let it sit on the counter (so he sees it) until he poops on the toilet for 7 days in a row.

whome?couldntbe

Okay, here's what my sister did...... she took out a calendar & told her son when he was dry for X consecutive amount of days (up to you) that he would get a new toy, in his case a Buzz Lightyear doll. She kept the doll next to the calendar and each day would put either a cross out or star for the day. When he had X amount of stars, he got the toy. It took a while (maybe a month) before he got the doll, but since then, he's been fine. Good luck!

CleoKitty

Ds got a sticker to put on a chart every time he went to the toilet. When he got 5 stars he got a prize (usually a Thomas train). Then he'd start a new potty chart and start earning another new Thomas train. The next chart had 10 spots, the one after that had 15, then 20, and so forth. After 5-6 prizes he no longer needed the charts although he'd still occasionally ask for a sticker now and then.

gibs

mamarazzi:

Oh, gibs.  Always so helpful.

 

did it EVER occur to you that I might be right????? 

boosma

Wish I could help, but I'm in the same boat as you....  My DD has been "pee" trained for probably 6 - 8 months, but she WILL NOT poop in the potty.    Insists on a pull-up... and if we take away the pull-ups (which we've done several times), she will literally hold the poop in until she is crying and in pain, and then she takes a dump in her pants.   I'm talking she will hold her poop for a couple of days...  

We've also tried begging, pleading, offering all sorts of treats/bribes, shaming her and telling her that "big girls don't poop in their pants'....   Hell, we even broke down and bought her a little Princess potty especially to poop in -- she isn't having any of that. 

The pediatrician said not to worry about it too much at this point -- she said to do scheduled potty time where she has to sit on the potty for "x" amt of time... even if she doesn't do anything while on there.

So, just wanted to let you know you're definitely not alone...  hopefully that at least makes you feel a little better?

Ivana_Stolichnaya

CleoKitty:

Ds got a sticker to put on a chart every time he went to the toilet. When he got 5 stars he got a prize (usually a Thomas train). Then he'd start a new potty chart and start earning another new Thomas train. The next chart had 10 spots, the one after that had 15, then 20, and so forth. After 5-6 prizes he no longer needed the charts although he'd still occasionally ask for a sticker now and then.

 

I like this method 

gracendantho26

Hmmm this is tough. My first inclination is to say to lay off and give it a few days or weeks. Someething like "hey buddy we are gonna go back to dipes and when you feel ready we'll go back to undies" in a really matter of fact way. To me when potty training gets into a battle of wills I feel the best approach is to back off and let the kid feel like they are in control. Then you can revisit it when the battle of wills has settled a bit. The problem with PT is that they really are in control of the outcome (no pun intended) so it's almost fighting a losing battle. It is soooo normal for kids to revert so I'd take some time off and then come back and be like "hey dude I've got some **insert his favorite toy/candy** you might like if you are willing to take a dump on this here potty. And as lame as it sounds let him be in there with you when you are doing your business and talk to him about him being  abig boy and using the potty.

ilovemygirls

I totally agree w/pp that you need to lay off.  Put him in diapers again & have a super cool reward for when HE is ready to start pooping in the potty again.  Be very matter of fact, no emotion- very much put the control back into his hands where he so clearly wants it.  It's not going to be nearly as much fun to poop in his pants when you don't give him the reaction he wants.  When he does poop in the diaper just say "Oh, that's too bad- I really wanted to give you that new toy.  But....when you're ready to be a big boy again let me know!!"  I can only imagine the frustration, but you have got to back off & take the emotion out of it- hard as that is going to be.  Good luck!

clintsbabe

This was me just a few weeks ago, with a GIRL.  Stickers, rewards, loss of privelages/toys did not work for us at all.  I tried to be calm and zen about it, but that didn't really work that well.  The thing that worked was making her clean out her messed up underwear (and any related mess).  It was traumatic for her and one day she just pooped on the pot.

Kapalua

ilovemygirls:

I totally agree w/pp that you need to lay off.  Put him in diapers again & have a super cool reward for when HE is ready to start pooping in the potty again.  Be very matter of fact, no emotion- very much put the control back into his hands where he so clearly wants it.  It's not going to be nearly as much fun to poop in his pants when you don't give him the reaction he wants.  When he does poop in the diaper just say "Oh, that's too bad- I really wanted to give you that new toy.  But....when you're ready to be a big boy again let me know!!"  I can only imagine the frustration, but you have got to back off & take the emotion out of it- hard as that is going to be.  Good luck!

this is exactly what we did.  I didn't want to fight with him over it...especially since he was still on the younger side of normal for being potty trained.  He was promised a big prize for pooping and we talked about it often.  One day it just clicked.  He pooped-got his big prize-and has been in big boy undies without incident since.

P.G.&A.M.

This happened with my son. After many accidents (he just didn't want to take time out of his busy day to sit on the potty. He'd stand to pee real quick and then dash off to play) and already trying the reward system, one weekend I noticed he was hiding behind a chair because he pooped in his underwear and thought we were going to get mad at him. At that point I realized we needed to just relax about the whole issue. I didn't want him to be one of those kids who got so stressed out about pooping that he'd start holding it and become constipated. We took away the underwear for the weekend and made him wear a pull up. He wasn't happy, but we told him if he pooped in the potty the rest of the weekend he could get his underwear back. It worked like a charm.

MommyofAlissa

I don't like to agree w/ Gibs, but I think you do need to chill. You've just had a major change in your house with moving to your parents, you just had a pregnancy scare, etc. The move is probably bothering him. He isn't even 3, he doesn't "get" why you've moved to grandma and grandpas and why most of your things are packed away. He might be picking up on your tension regarding the pg scare.

Combine all these things w/ the addition of a new brother and you've got quite a bit for his little brain to take in and comprehend. Pooping in his pants is the one control he can get right now. Put him back in pull ups and explain to him that you understand that he may be feeling a little confused by everything going on in his life, and you are going to make sure you help him get through this. 

AnnapolisLari

Powert struggles over pooping are probably not the best idea. He will win.

Taking away privileges or toys for a natural bodily function is a path you probably shouldn't be taking.

Mommyofalissa said it well. I would just back off, put him back in diapers, and try again when things are more settled. He's pretty young, according to the average. Matthew is almost a month older and I am not planning to even try PTing until at least September.

jessibuck

I don't think backing off will work.  He WANTS to wear underwear.  He gets upset when I try to put a diaper on him.  We've had the conversation about going back to wearing diapers until he's ready to poop on the potty and he tells us "no.  I wear unnerwear."

We don't take away privileges, give time-outs, otherwise punish him for pooping in his pants.  We remind him where it's supposed to go and dump the poo in and flush it.  He knows he'll get a big reward if he does.

Thanks for your suggestion, Cleo.  I think we'll try that.