XP:Grrr...people's responses when I say we're still hoping to adopt

WhiteysWifey

 

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Anyone IRL who even has the remotest idea (from my comments) that it took us 3 years to have this kid and that we had started the adoption process, looks at me like I have 6 heads when I say we still plan on adopting! Their response is usually: "Even since you have your own kid?" or "That will change once you have one of your own".

No, it won't change....if we're adopting we're bringing "one of our own" home. Biology is not important in our family (DH is not biologically related to this child). I don't get why people always see adoption as something unthinkable...like why would you want to raise someone else's kids, you're own are hard enough.

Ok, vent over

LadyRed7

i hear ya. Sometimes i wish i had the Cliffnotes version of my building a family journey!

RJMbim

Opinions are like a$$holes honey, I have discovered this a while ago now.

How you build your family is up to you! The building blocks may differ but the foundation is just as strong.

-Stephanie-

I agree with pp in the fact that everyone has opinions. The problem is, why do so many feel the need to share their opinion without prompting? I don't go around showing off my ... just because I have one.  

RJMbim

Because they really just can't help themselves. I'm this close to having a T-shirt made saying "Did I ask you?!"

lilmufish

You are not alone. I want to start a website, all the stupid comments that are said to those who are struggling with infertility... or stupid comments said to those who are adopting.... I'm amazed...

 

 

 For the past several years, anytime that anyone would ask how long we were married, we'd state, 1,2, 3, 4 years (depending on when they would ask), their next question would be how many children do you have. When we'd stay none just a furbaby, we'd get a look like we were aweful people who hated children.  They would always tell us that children change your life, for the better and that we should really not miss the opportunity to have children, as some couples could not. 

Now, that people know that we have struggled with infertility, they ask if I'm going to adopt a china baby, or a black baby. It makes me so angry sometimes, I hear these perfectly educated, folks make comments like that.  NOW, When we have started telling people we're adopting from the foster care system, I get this sarcastic "good luck" and it's followed with horror stories or you're so young( we're upper 20s) do you think you could do it, why don't you go to china first.Or my favorite, told to me the other day, "aren't you afraid the BP will come to your house and burn it down because they are mad at you"  I smiled and said nope! I got *the look* lol.

 

 

 

LadyRed7

RJMbim:

 The building blocks may differ but the foundation is just as strong.

 

what a great saying! I am going to tuck that one away. 

effingtroll

aloha

julandjo

It just makes me sad to hear these comments.  The people saying those things don't understand the depth of parental love regardless of biological relations.  It make me even more sad when it's a parent saying these things - they obviously missed the bus.  One of the most important ones in life, no less. 

tct1219

i HATE people who say you'll feel this way once you experience this... and they are always wrong in my experience. so ignorant.