anyone get flashbacks to tough medical times?

lazysusan

I don't know how to explain it.  DS has had 2 hospitalizations this year for seizures.  The last one was the end of March.  Lately sometimes at night I've been having flashbacks to those difficult days where he was having one seizure after the other.  They are mainly of him in the seizure.  It was so hard to see.  In the moment I kept my head and tried to stay focused for him.  Maybe now that I am on maternity leave I'm having more time to reflect.  I'm also a bit fearful of "next time".  I'm hoping there isn't a next time.  I don't know how to "release it" or get over the memory...

SweetMonkey

My 1st born is 18 yrs old now has been great (fixed) since he was 4 and 1/2 y/o and I can still get a flash back or I'll watch something (those medical shows are no good for a someone like me) and I'll feel so much pain, But also so much thankfullness that I have it as good as I do and that he has been great. My my 2nd born ended up having the same thing I was a wreck. DS2 had such a better time (medical advances and such) and now I find myself feeling sorry for DS1 even more... how hard he had it, all the pain and how now that much pain is not necessary.

I guess what I am saying is you'll never 100% get over it completely even if you know 100% they are fine...

w/ what they have I get to worry about grandchildren next... so I'll get to have the pain and fear all over again.

JessesGirl81

I had a very traumatic birth experience in which my son suffered a brain injury. I most definitely had flashbacks to that date, even if I smelled the soap I had brought with me to use in the hospital, or the hand sanitizer from the NICU, it would come flooding back. They are PTSD symptoms and I think they are quite common when you have been through a trauma such as a medical issue with your child. For me, it took a GOOD year to not have such frequent flashbacks. Now they come as fleeting thoughts and are not so intense.

EnglishMajor03

DD was born almost two years ago with a skin condition where some of her skin was missing.  Now that I'm pg with my second, I've had  a lot of stress and anxiety with giving birth again.  I keep flashing back to her birth and her stay in the  NICU.  It's terrible.  I've never been officially diagnosed, I truly believe I have PTSD from it. I've been working through them with a therapist which has been helpful. 

Like you said, maybe because you are on leave you finally have a chance to process your thoughts.  I know for me, while DD's care was at it's most intensive I didn't have time to think about how I was feeling or how I had changed.  I was always more focused on how sad I was for my LO and how painful her condition is for her.  I'd consider talking about it with someone (friend or family) and if that doesn't work, maybe some sort of counselor/therapist?  It's really tough to watch your LO go through things you know aren't fair for them and sometimes you need help sorthing that out.

madison

Yes! And I'm so glad you posted this question, because it makes me feel a lot better that I'm not alone. I wondered if I was "dwelling" too much or overly fixated on my son's medical issues. The one-year anniversaries of his (difficult) birth and subsequent surgeries were really hard on me. I kept replaying where I was and what was happening the year before. Now that I'm past that hump, my head is in a much better place. (However, I now have several friends with brand-new babies, and when I hear about their experiences I get a little sad because it makes me think of how abnormal our birth experience and following weeks and months were.)