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Parenting
Would you have your feeling hurt
or am I too sensitive?
I asked my mom to babysit for my kids next week for a couple just of hours while I go to a recruitment fair (it's literally 2 hours long). I could tell my mom doesn't want to. She was just like, "umm. I guess. Yea." with lots of hesitation in her voice. I try really hard not to take advantage and ask too often. She watched the kids at my 6 weeks pp check up and maybe 15 other times max in Noah's whole life. So like 1 time every few months.
Here is why my feelings are hurt. It would be different if she just wasn't into babysitting or kids. That is not it. She just got back from Colorado with my sister and her family. The next day she babysat my nieces (same sister) and today went to the pool with them. No one ever comesto see us. If I want to see my mom or sister, I have to go to them (30 minutes). It's not a big deal, but I do it all the time. I feel like I am the sleep deprived one with a newborn. If anyone needs help, it's me.
I know it is not my mom's job to babysit and that she has already raised her kids. It would just be nice for the occasional favor, when she is constantly helping my sister. It's not fair. I really, really hardly ever ask. My sister also has local in laws, I don't. My mom is really the only one I trust with both kids, since having Maren. I know that will change, but she is still so young.
So, I emailed my mom just a bit ago and told her nevermind. Maybe I am just hormonal, but I really don't want to put anyone out and could tell that I was.
Sorry this is long. Maybe I just needed to vent. Please don't flame me.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would you have your feeling hurt
Have u talked to her about it? With my parents they are always so "busy" and have been my whole life, I realized this only after I had my 2nd and they never offered to help with anything only UNTIL I asked them. I finally communicated my feelings about it that they told me not to be offended that they never call me, they do it equally to all us kids.
So I understand a bit of how u feel. I think being a parent now highlights my own parents flaws of how they raised us (being latch key kids, etc) and how I take their relationship now for what it is. I love them all the same I just don't expect them to do things I would do for my children.
GL!
My feelings would be hurt. In fact I think my mom would like me to ask her to watch ds more often. She and my dad joke when they go on trips together, they joke about taking ds with them.
Sorry.
M/C 1/6/10
100% hurt. that sucks...I am so sorry!
I would LOVE to have a parent or inlaw as close as 30 minutes- and I would be super bummed if they weren't around much.
I feel like an inconvenience to my mom sometimes too....but she is awesome. Maybe it is because I know that it isn't easy to juggle a newborn and toddler, and don't want to put that on her? I would be very hurt too..I'm sorry. : (
Maybe she is babysitting your sister's kids that day? And didn't want to say no to you??? Thinking maybe that could be it??
I'd be upset about it, too.
I always thought my folks would be really good grandparents, but once they divorced (3 years ago) things have completely changed. They both have become a lot more selfish with their time, even if they would only be home sitting in front of the b00b tube they are hesitant about coming over. My in-laws live close, and they see my kids at least 1 or 2 times per week. I just recently had a big talk with each of my parents, and at least my dad and his fiancee are going to start coming over once a week to play with the kids. My mom says she'll be over but is only here for an hour or so and is almost always an hour late...Maybe someday she will understand how this makes me feel like an inconvenience or that my kids and I aren't a priority to her, but that day is not today (or the other day when we spoke). I really think you should call her and have a good talk about this. How you feel about her seeing your sister more and that you would love for your kids to know their grandmother. Wow this got really long. Sorry about that.
I can count on one hand the number of times my parents have watched our DDs. They don't volunteer and the last time I asked, my mom agreed so we could celebrate our 5 year anniversary. Then, she made other plans. Miraculously, my ILs happened to visit so we got to go out, no thanks to my parents.
Yes, I'm hurt. Yes, I would be hurt if I were you.
I would be hurt, too. I'm sorry she's doing that to you.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
Ditto everyone else- I would be hurt too. So sorry Mel
But maybe there is more to it than that? Maybe she isn't comfortable with such a tiny baby? Or maybe she has a comittment that day but didn't want to tell you no?
Don't email, call her and tell her how you feel. I'm sorry she hurt your feelings.
I just wanted to add my view a bit late. My mom is really great about my kids..she loves them to pieces. She spends the summer at the beach, so she is not around (she usually lives next door). I called her a few days ago and asked her to come into town for a few days this week..and I was so surprised when she sort of hesitated and didn't sound all that jazzed about it-I felt like I was trying to convince her. Anyways, when I talked to her tonight about coming, she said she was really excited. So I think sometimes we just catch them off guard and because they're not quick to agree to what we ask, it doesn't mean that they don't want to do it, but that it just wasn't what they expected.
Maybe you should invite her over some bonding time with you and the kids soon and you could gently tell her how you feel...