Job Dilemma

Kadyra

As some of you who frequent the high risk boards may know, I've been off work on modified bed rest since June 6 for an abruption, IUGR, preterm contractions, and some issues with my breathing.  Thursday we found out that the IUGR was getting worse-- it had been in the 8th percentile, and now it's in the 3rd percentile and will have to be delivered early (not exactly sure when).  I am an ob/gyn resident in my 4th and final year (yay), but due to all this time off, I will will be graduating late.  I'll be graduating at whatever time next year that I come back to work after the baby is born, instead of June 30. 

Anyway, I had been applying for fellowships, which are for subspecialty training, in laparoscopic surgery.  I love ob, but getting up in the middle of the night and being up all weekend doesn't love me.  So doing gyn only, while making much less money, is a much better lifestyle and would allow me to spend more time with DH and the LO (or LO's) in the future.  I sent out my applications for the these fellowship before I went into the hospital and got put on bedrest.  My mentor told me not to withdraw the application and to go on any interviews that I was offered.

I had previously been allowed to leave the city at 32 weeks to interview.  I had one interview set up across the country (about 3 hours from my MIL and SIL, so they'd be there in case of emergency).  But since Thursday's new development, I am not even allowed to leave the city.  Fortunately, I am still on modified bedrest or I'd go nuts!  So, yesterday I very sadly e-mailed the program I had the interview with and told them I was unable to come due to an unforseen pregnancy complication.  This morning at 6am my time (9am their time), they called and offered me another interview on 9/14, which will be after the baby delivers.  It is their last interview date.  They have given me 2 days to think about it.

DH and I discussed it this morning before he left for work.  They obviously are interested in me or they would not be persisting.  I don't want to burn any bridges like that.  The problem is, I am not sure if they would allow me to start in September of next year as opposed to July.  Because I sent in my application before all this stuff happened to delay my graduation, they are unaware of it.  I am wondering if I should call them tomorrow and tell them the story and see if they think I should come anyway?  Or if I should wait until I got there in September at the interview, knowing I'd be leaving my preemie baby at home/in the NICU or I'd be back to work and leaving work again after having been gone for months for possibly an answer of "no we don't allow people to start after July?"

It's a very tough decision.  Any opinions?  Thoughts? TIA.

duchess0727

I would definitely accept the interview and let them know any issues you might have that would be out of the ordinary.  (Although I'm not quite sure I follow why you couldn't start work until next Sept instead of July if you are going to graduate at some point in the next year when you return to work)  Either way, I'd express your interest in the job and the interview, mention your limitations and see what they say.  They seem interested in you and are being accomodating already so it can't hurt to try.

SuwaneeGirl

I'm not a doctor or planning to become one, so I don't know much about that part of it. But I do know about having a preemie. I had my daughter at 32 weeks (I had pre-eclampsia and she had IUGR because of the elevated blood pressure). She spent four weeks in the NICU. Those were the hardest four weeks of my life. I could have never been away for more than a day, emotionally or logistically. And honestly, my job was the last thing on my mind at that point. I was more concerned with getting her out of the hospital, practicing breastfeeding and getting her jaundice to resolve. 

Things change drastically when you have a preemie. It's not only hard on you but it will probably be very hard on your husband. It can really put a strain on a marriage. 

I found it was a lot easier to just not plan for job or career things. You have the rest of your life to figure it out. Unless there is a major compelling reason to take this slot, I'd say politely decline until you are certain about what is going on with your baby. If they are good people, they will understand that you want to put your health and your baby's health first. If they don't understand, you probably don't want to work there, anyway.

By the way, I sacrificed and stayed home with my baby for her first 10 months (9 months at home, 1 month in NICU) and I fully credit that mommy time with her monumental weight gain and growth. She's now in the 90th percentile for weight and 100th for height for her actual age at 13 months. She's progressing completely normally physically and cognitively after being born 8 weeks early and not even weighing 4 lbs. I am not sure if she would have done that well had she been stressed out by having a caregiver other than mom. Just my theory.   

Good luck.

RobynScott

I think I would call to accept the interview, re-affirm your interest (assuming you are still interested), but also let them know about the start date issue and let them make the decision whether to still have you come out so you are not blindsiding them in September.  Good luck!

 I also think pp's idea about taking a year off might be something to consider as well. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy - hope baby keeps cooking and growing a while longer!