What to do when time outs don't work? Toddler biting out of control. Help!

lsufan

I have no idea how to handle my 19 month old's biting. ?My older son went through a biting phase, but it didn't seem as bad-- maybe because he didn't have siblings at the time. ?Anytime there's a disagreement over a toy (which happens several times a day), his first instinct is to bite-- hard. ?Today he bit Evan and broke the skin-- leaving a huge welt. ?Time outs are not working. ?He doesn't even act like they bother him in the slightest. ?Part of me wants to tell Evan to just fight back, but I can't do that. ?I do at least tell him to get out of the way. ?He just sits there while Bennett lunges at him with his mouth wide open.

suzymarie

I wouldn't expect timeouts to work for much of anything with a 19 month old, so I am not too suprised 

 

My strategy is to remove the biter (set him 4 feet away) and totally ignore him while showering attention on the injured person.  DS doesn't like being picked up and set down by himself and he also really doesn't like it when the attention isn't on him.

 

We also say "teeth aren't for biting they are for eating" when ever he looks like he is going in for a bite.  That works sometimes.  The biggest thing for me wasbeing aware and on top of him when he is in a biting mood. 

kittycarr

Brooke's biting is uncontrollable and I cannot literally stalk her 24/7.  The last time she bit Ethan, the hurt on his face broke my heart.  I told him to punch her in the face next time. 

tammy79

Have you try taking things that he likes away from him?, or maybe having him do time outs in his room instead. DS hates doing time out in his room away from everyone, so we do that a lot. 

hopefulmom

For that age I think the only thing you can do is redirect.  Until he is bitten back from another child they just "don't get it".  KWIM?  It will eventually stop...soon hopefully.

Bellisimo

DS was a biter (mostly biting me and DH only) around that age.  Honestly, DS will be 3 in Sept. and he's just now grasping the idea of time outs.  At that age...forget about it.  I remember we just verbalized how NOT o.k. it was to bite and suggested that he use words to express his frustrations.  I would validate his feelings of frustration first and then express my distaste for his behaviour.  He outgrew it one day and hasn't bitten since then.  I think your situation is different in that he has siblings so I feel like I can't speak to that.  I was just wondering the other day if we would go through that phase again with DD before she's able to talk and tell us why she's mad/upset/frustrated.  Probably! 

Bellisimo

kittycarr:

Brooke's biting is uncontrollable and I cannot literally stalk her 24/7.  The last time she bit Ethan, the hurt on his face broke my heart.  I told him to punch her in the face next time. 

LOL

lsufan

suzymarie:

I wouldn't expect timeouts to work for much of anything with a 19 month old, so I am not too suprised?:(

Maybe he is too young for time outs... We started them with my older son at that age, and it worked because he hated them. ?Bennett just sits there with a goofy grin on his face.

The problem is that I really cannot be in the same room with them for the whole time they're playing together, so I don't always get a chance to redirect him before it happens. ?I also have a newborn, and I NEED for them to be able to play in the next room while I'm taking care of T, cooking, cleaning, or whatever. ?Ugh.?

?

Jelliebean1982

suzymarie:

I wouldn't expect timeouts to work for much of anything with a 19 month old, so I am not too suprised 

 

My strategy is to remove the biter (set him 4 feet away) and totally ignore him while showering attention on the injured person.  DS doesn't like being picked up and set down by himself and he also really doesn't like it when the attention isn't on him.

 

This.  I find that my toddler bites to get a reaction.  When the reaction isn't desireable, the behavior will stop.  When DD went through a biting phase I would immediately put her down and walk away.  The behavior stopped right away. 

If you pick up the other child and shower him with affection and your DS is ignored, he'll quickly realize that biting is not getting the desired attention from mommy.  Remember that even negative attention is better than no attention.  If you're picking DS up to put him on time-out, it reinforces that when he bites you'll pay attention to him.  Switch your reaction to the biting, and then shower him with positive attention when he does good things. 

 Good luck!  Biting is no fun for everyone. 

TTCnumber2

A woman in our mom's group has a squirt water bottle filled with vinegar.  If her son bites- she takes it and gives a quick little squirt in his mouth.

Not sure if this is your style- but she said it usually solves the problems ASAP. 

Jelliebean1982

TTCnumber2:

A woman in our mom's group has a squirt water bottle filled with vinegar.  If her son bites- she takes it and gives a quick little squirt in his mouth.

Not sure if this is your style- but she said it usually solves the problems ASAP. 

There are better ways to solve behavioral problems than through physical punishment.  I'd never do something like this to my kid.  So sad!