Constantly comparing babies, HELP!

Mrs.BKP

I have no idea why this never crossed my mind, but comparing my two boys to each other is going to make me crazy! I constantly remind myself that even though they are twins they are two separate babies and will develop at their own pace, but their differences make me neurotic and I'm always worried there's something wrong when one is lagging behind.

I knew it'd be bad with friends comparing milestones, etc., but having 2 in the same house that are the same age is intense.  Anyone else do this?  Does it ever end? I just feel terrible about it.

pea-kay

i do it, but because mine are ID (are yours?) i feel like it's okay to do that. maybe that's wrong. i have more of a problem comparing them to other kids. i need to stop that.

but really i'm commenting to tell you how adorable your boys are! eep! (and i love their names. )

Mrs.BKP

Thanks, pea-kay.  Your boys are too sweet also.  Especially Miles   I must say even before I was pregnant with my boys I would come check this board just to see your newest picture!

I don't think ours our identical (even though most people who meet them think they are...), so really they're just like siblings.  I guess it's not so much the comparing itself that's a problem, it's thinking there's something wrong with one of them if they don't progress at the same rate.  I guess I'll just have to get used to it and do my best not to treat them differently based on it.  I can already tell I'm more protective of one of the boys because he's on the slower end of the milestone spectrum.

pea-kay

aww, hang in there - there will be some things that one boy will do before the other, and vice versa. they're still so little.

mskah

Hi MrsBKP!  Love the picture of your boys in your siggie - SO cute!  I can't believe how big they have gotten

 I can definitely sympathize with comparing developmental milestones between babies.  As you know, I have a boy and a girl...and I still compare them.  I can't help it - they are being raised in the same environmental factors, have the same birthday, I think it is just natural to compare to some extent.  As they have gotten older and reached their milestones, I have gotten better about it.  Although I have to admit, at their one year wellness visit I was describing all these things that Madison was doing and Brody wasn't...the doctor looked at me and said "I think you are pretty much describing the difference between a boy and a girl", which I think to some extent I knew - but it would still make me nervous when he wasn't doing something that she was or vice versa. 

Try not to worry too much about their developmental milestones - there is a really huge range for "normal", which I am sure you are aware.  Trust me when I tell you - now that my kiddos are both walking - I have a hard time remembering all the details for when they accomplished some of the other milestones...

Mom of 2+2=4

It's natural to compare your babies. They are individuals as you said, just remember this; if they had been born at different times you would have still compared them to each other. I did it with my first two kids (boy and girl 15 months apart), my boy walked at 7 1/2 months and my girl walked at 11-12 months, my boy didn't talk much until he was almost 2, my girl talked before she was one and hasn't slowed down in that department yet!

As long as they are hitting milestones when they are suppose to (statistically), then all is good and there isn't much to worry about.

At least with them meeting their milestones at different stages they don't have to share the limelight at least for a little while.

P.S. Your boys are really cute, love the picture! 

Livvie's Mom

Mrs BKP!  How are you?  I'm rarely on here anymore since my boys are keeping my busy (I'm sure you're in the same boat).  I am always comparing too.  I know it's silly.  My little guy just seems to be behind everything my big guy does.  when my DD was little I did my best to not compare her to other kiddos but shoot, when you have twins it's near impossible not to. 

 I'm so lame I haven't even put a pic of them in my siggie but if you click my blog you can see some recent ones.  One of my guys has a full head of hair, the other has the "old man" baldish on top but plenty around the sides... too funny.

Your boys are so cute!  It seems like yesterday you had their first coming home post.  Crazy, how time flies although I would like to fly on through to month 4 where the crying/fussiness should subside (oh and some more sleep too, that would be nice!)