What is one thing you do to better your marriage?

TRAlbaugh

DH and I had a rough time right after DS was born and although we are doing a lot better I believe there is always room for improvement.

Just curious what you ladies do to help improve your marriage? I am not necesarily talking major things, for example when DH picks up my fav candy bar at the store it just shows me that he thought of me.

Every Fri night DH and I have a movie "date". After DS is in bed we rent a movie and make snacks. It makes us feel like the old us again.

madhatter2003

I try to make my DH coffee each morning and take it to him. It only adds about 30 secs to my morning, but then he wakes up knowing I"m thinking of him.

Or at least I hope he appreciates it LOL.

303jess303

We do the movie thing too! I love it! It is something small, but yet it gives us our time again!

KaitlynDC6

We talk. If we get into a pattern of arguing (which we do), we make sure to sit down and talk about it when we are both calm to figure out what we are *really* arguing about, then fix it.

Oh, and we also do date nights and take time for us.

brideatbeach

About once a month we he have a date night and have family watch dd and put her to bed. Also try to have her spend the night out every other month so we have time to ourselves. I know it seems like a lot but I think it's important for DH and I to have our own time without DD. I try my hardest to not even talk about her while we are out so we can just concentrate on DH and I. That is just what works for us!

TRAlbaugh

303jess303:

We do the movie thing too! I love it! It is something small, but yet it gives us our time again!

Just wanted to say your DD is adorable; love the dress!!

punkfiction

i make sure that i pick my battles. i do not think missing the laundry basket when throwing his clothes in is a big deal and not worth the fight, for instance.

we have a lot of sex. 

i thank him for working as hard as he does. some days just suck and i make sure he knows how grateful i am that i get to stay home. 

i dont make him have every child responsibility when he gets home from work just bc "ugh ive been doing it allllll day".

eta: we do the movie date thing too. its fun to cuddle on the couch. 

and we also go to bed early so we have time to talk. we can sit in bed and talk for hours if we weren't so tired some days. we talk about the day, etc. its an easy way to show that you care.

candreco

We're lucky that my parents are nearby, and are always happy to take DD for us to go out.  At least once a month, we go to a baseball game, out to dinner, see a concert or movie, etc. just us.

We also work in the same building, and eat lunch together as often as possible.

zach'swife

TALK. That is the number one thing I would say keeps us both happy and connected. If there's an issue, we talk it to death until we both feel all better.

Other than that, we have a couple tv shows that we always sit down and watch together, like a date. We almost always eat dinner together: I cook, he cleans up. And we spend time with the baby together, laying on the bed playing and talking. 

jess1984

I ship my husband away for 3 weeks and only see him 10 days out of a month... jk

When he is home we have my parents take C over night once and we have a date night, where we go out to supper, maybe a movie if we can and hang out and talk. We try to laugh as much as possible and spend time as a family and a couple when he is home.

Sometimes it's hard, especially having him interrupt my routine with ds, but I am learning to bite my tounge since it's my issue not his.

thumbkin

I let him lay in my lap every night and I scratch his head.  He loves having his head scratched.  He brings me coffee every morning in bed.  Also we have our "dinner" at lunch time while the baby is napping and we sit at the dining room table and chat. We both work from home so our big meal is during the day so we don't eat as much at night.  It has helped with our weight loss, we are dieting together too.  We spend ALOT of time together, it's probably way too much but it seems to be working.

crysas81

I know this sounds weird but someone was talking about losing your sex drive, which I did so what helps us...we make out. I'm not kidding...we do and it's fun! For so long I forgot what a great kisser he is. Sometimes it leads to other things but a lot of times it's just fun.

Amy Schramm

I don't nag or mother my husband.  I respect his life, his career and his independence.  I'm easy to live with. 

anls520

I get a DH a coffee on my way home from work.  He works nights, so sleeps while I'm at work, and wakes up before I'm home.  He needs his caffeine fix, so I try to get him a cup from his favorite place.  Nothing big but he always appreciates this. 

akiernan

I say "please" and "thank-you" all the time.

We hold hands when we're out and about.

I try not to nag.

I say I Love You every single day.

I grab his azz.  (*shrugs*  It works.)

I give him space to be himself, do what he wants, etc.  And he does the same for me. 

KittyCatBio

FLB.

communicating as much as possible about everything.  DH isn't much of a talker about his feelings, but I can tell when something's bothering him.  he just tries to bottle, and I don't let him. i basically have to have the conversation for both of us, but once i express what i think his issue is and my thoughts, he usually feels better about it. 

being appreciative.  he never fails to thank me and compliment me for any meal i make/chore i do, and i try to do the same.  it's not a huge production, just as i'm handing him a dish to rinse and put in the dishwasher he says "thanks for dinner honey, it was yummy" and i say 'thanks for clearing the table and feeding kiddo". 3 seconds.

katydid2007

I make lists of things he can do to improve himself. I post them on the fridge and then review them daily.

 

punkfiction

akiernan:

I say "please" and "thank-you" all the time.

We hold hands when we're out and about.

I try not to nag.

I say I Love You every single day.

I grab his azz.  (*shrugs*  It works.)

I give him space to be himself, do what he wants, etc.  And he does the same for me. 

i couldn't ditto all of this more. being romantic and sappy and flirty is uber importante.

akiernan

punkfiction:

akiernan:

I say "please" and "thank-you" all the time.

We hold hands when we're out and about.

I try not to nag.

I say I Love You every single day.

I grab his azz.  (*shrugs*  It works.)

I give him space to be himself, do what he wants, etc.  And he does the same for me. 

i couldn't ditto all of this more. being romantic and sappy and flirty is uber importante.

I think people forget how something so simple as holding hands can be so intimate.  It's just a habit of ours that started when we were dating.  

Hand-holding can lead to some crazy-flippy monkey sex, for sure! 

zach'swife

punkfiction:

akiernan:

I say "please" and "thank-you" all the time.

We hold hands when we're out and about.

I try not to nag.

I say I Love You every single day.

I grab his azz.  (*shrugs*  It works.)

I give him space to be himself, do what he wants, etc.  And he does the same for me. 

i couldn't ditto all of this more. being romantic and sappy and flirty is uber importante.

Super double-ditto.

KittyCatBio

akiernan:

I say "please" and "thank-you" all the time.

We hold hands when we're out and about.

I try not to nag.

I say I Love You every single day.

I grab his azz.  (*shrugs*  It works.)

I give him space to be himself, do what he wants, etc.  And he does the same for me. 

azz grabbing is key to all functional relationships.  we even hold hands in lowes. we are dorks.  

punkfiction

akiernan:

punkfiction:

akiernan:

I say "please" and "thank-you" all the time.

We hold hands when we're out and about.

I try not to nag.

I say I Love You every single day.

I grab his azz.  (*shrugs*  It works.)

I give him space to be himself, do what he wants, etc.  And he does the same for me. 

i couldn't ditto all of this more. being romantic and sappy and flirty is uber importante.

I think people forget how something so simple as holding hands can be so intimate.  It's just a habit of ours that started when we were dating.  

Hand-holding can lead to some crazy-flippy monkey sex, for sure! 

lol i totally agree.

last night we just wanted to make out. thats it. and let me say that telling yourself that you are only going to make out leads to some fab sex LOL

akiernan

punkfiction:

lol i totally agree.

last night we just wanted to make out. thats it. and let me say that telling yourself that you are only going to make out leads to some fab sex LOL

Now add in the fact that we live with the ILs so we have to have SILENT crazy-flippy monkey sex.  It's insane. *L*

Smittenkitten05

We have a lot more sex than we used to, crazy as that sounds. I never used to think this way, but I am finding that it really is the glue that holds our marriage together when we are going through stressful times (such as adjusting to having a baby).

californiafrog7905

Couples' counseling.  Seriously.  Even if we're not struggling with a big issue, it's helpful to check in with each other and get some outside perspective on things we keep circling back to in fights.  I highly recommend.

ABMcKinney

We're swingers. Being with other people always makes us appreciate each other more.

punkfiction

ABMcKinney:

We're swingers. Being with other people always makes us appreciate each other more.

i dont believe this. LOL

olivejuice127

I get up 30 minutes before him and DD.

In that time I make my lunch, pick up toys, make DD's bottles for the day, unload the dishwasher, feed the dogs, take the dogs out, make DD breakfast, water the flowers, pull out meat for that night's dinner (its frozen), make DH coffee, and clean up the kitchen. I can get so much done when those 2 are asleep. That way when DH wakes all he has to do is load up his truck, eat, and grab DD to go to the sitter.

I just try and do as much as I can because DH does so much for DD, especially when I am at school two times a week. He really is a huge help and I couldnt do it without him.