Decision to leave infant with daycare or not

DancinGirl917

Hi everyone,

   My husband and I are planning on starting our family in the next year.  We are working out how we would financially support a child and one of the things we are deciding is whether or not to use daycare after my maternity leave.  This seems like a really hard decision to make.  My mother said she wasn't able to do it with me because she would have just sat and cried at work all day wondering what we were doing.  On the other hand, there are plenty of children who go to daycare/homecare as infants and turn out completley normal.

   I am just wondering how some of you made this/will make this decision?

egsquared

DH and I both have to work full time and don't have any family who are able to watch the baby, so childcare was the only choice for us.  We did a lot of research on nannys, homecares and daycares and eventually picked a daycare that we felt the most comfortable with.  We visited the daycare a couple times and all the babys/kids seemed happy and well cared for, so that helps ease our minds.  I'm sure it'll still be hard though to leave the baby there at the beginning. 

BeanieWeanie

I am going to SAH with the baby. I've worked in a daycare for 3 years or so, and while the teachers/caregivers are usually wonderful people, there is no way they can give each child the attention it needs at such a young age when they have so many to look after. IMO, kids do not benefit socially or otherwise from being in daycare until they're at least 2 years old (some not until they're 3 or 4).
It does mean that DH and I will have to cut back financially, but it's in the best interests of our little boy, and seems like a no-brainer for us. Obviously, we are very lucky because we are able to do this - I know others have to work, and I hope I don't sound judgmental - these are just my opinions. Good luck making your decision.

snieling

My husband and I both work full-time, so began sending our DD to an inhome daycare when I returned to work at 3 months.  We love our babysitter!  I love my DD, of course, so those first few days of leaving her at the sitter's was difficult...I felt sure that no one could care for her like I could, but honestly my sitter is a saint and Izzy loves going there, so we have no reservations about continuing her in daycare full time.  True, Izzy may not get as much individual care and attention as she would if she was home alone with me, but she is loved by her sitter and gets to socialize with other kids during the day.  It's true that she may not have "needed" socialization until she got older (she's now 19 months old), but I really think it helped lower her separation anxiety and be more outgoing in social situation.  Of course, that could just be her personality too.  On another note, for me personally, returning to work was like getting back a part of my sanity (nothing at all against SAHM's...more power to you all, I don't know how you do it!).  I know that I have much more patience with my DD during the time that we spend together, than if I was home alone with her all day...but patience has never been my strong suit. 

You have to do whatever is right for your family, but know that all moms go through a period of grieving if they have to leave their children at daycare or a babysitter, but it passes!  Of course, do your homework on the babysitter/daycare before picking the one that's right for you.

DancinGirl917

Thanks for the advice.  Another thing I am worried about is that the baby will act different or not recognize me and my husband as much because we aren't spending enough time with them.  Does that make sense?  I think it would just break my heart if the baby liked being with the sitter more than me!  There's a lot to think about here....thanks again everyone.