Adoption
Birth Mother Medical Expenses
I'm new to the domestic adoption process and I have a quick question relating to birth mother expenses.
If you need to cover the birth mother's medical expenses does this mean paying for her hospital costs and all her doctor's visits leading up to the birth? That is a massive amount of money.
I'm not sure if I'm just not understanding exactly what birth mother expenses mean or if people are really paying thousand and thousands of dollars on top of the agency fees for a domestic adoption.
Thanks!
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Re: Birth Mother Medical Expenses
each state has different laws. For instance, we live in NY, and if our BM is in NY, by law, we are only responsible to cover 2 months prior to the birth (even if we are matched before that) and one month after birth. If our BM is in a different state, we go by that state's laws.
One reason why we selected our agency, was they will present a case to us once they meet the BM and have a pretty good handle on what the cost of the expenses might be. Could be a bit more, could be less. If we are not comfortable with the amount that could potentially be spent, we can decline the case.
You should know, that it is in addition to the agency, attorney, home study fees though. It does all add up!
The short answer is . . .yes. But the attorney/agency should be able to outline the amount with some level of accuracy before you agree to the match. Bear in mind that if the BM qualifies for Medicaid coverage, this defrays the medical costs significantly. Agency/attorney can help her get coverage if that is a need for her.
Birth mother expenses can encompass anything from medical expenses to housing, clothing, and other support until she delivers. Some BM need very little support (our SW said that some BM just need shopping cards for groceries to get by) and others will need full medical and living costs.
Again, you have to carefully review the state laws for both your home state and the state where the baby will be born (if different), then work with your agency/attorney to come up with a reasonable plan for expenses with any match that is presented to you.
We did not pay any birth mom expenses. If the birth mom should change her mind this can be seen as "bribing" her, making her feel like she is obligated to give up her child.
If you have an agency saying you have to pay expenses please find another agency. You do not have too.
Our birth mom was on state assistance while finishing up her last year of college. The agency helped her get on assistance.
In my experience the agency or attorney SHOULD get her set up on medicaid (even if it is AFTER birth - as they will retro active the insurance). Therefore, all *we* owe is what medicaid doesn't pick up (minimal amount).
Medicaid can also be sought for the baby so that the baby's first couple of day's medical expenses are paid AS LONG AS your health care insurance will not cover the baby from birth.
In our case, the birth mother did not have health insurance but medicaid has retro-actively picked up her medical fees. They were also going to apply for medicaid for our son but our own personal health insurance actually will cover him (Atena) from birth regardless of the fact that we did not receive official placement until about three days later.
In the end, the medical fees will be very little for us. This is when it pays to have an agency or attorney that has a health insurance expert on staff - especially, well trained and educated in medicaid.
Our state allows adoptive parents to pay for birthmother expenses, but the birthmother has to complete a financial statement, demonstrate need, and the expenses have to be approved by a judge. We can't just give her giftcards or money when she asks for it. If she asks us for money or says she has a need, we're supposed to direct her to our attorney and she will help her file with the court.
As pp stated, anything you pay is lost should she change her mind (unless you're in Idaho, where anything you pay has to be paid back). I think most birthmothers know this and don't view any kind of assistance as bribery if they change their minds. I don't know how many times that was gone over in discussions with our attorney and with our social worker, and we're not even with an agency and I know they have had the same discussions with our birthmother. We're doing a private domestic adoption.
We won't owe any medical expenses for her -- she will be on medicaid and the state mother/baby plan will pick up anything medicaid doesn't cover. We will owe our deductible for the baby's hospital stay and care post-birth, which is minimal ($150).
It's a very tricky issue, ethically speaking. IMO, it is not ethical or okay for an adoptive family to pay expenses for an expectant mom b/c it adds WAY too much pressure for her to place, like she "owes" you her child in order to repay for what has been done for her (even if you've never said anything like that, it's the feeling of repaying a debt in some way). Agencies really use this for their gain, and that is disgusting.
Many moms can qualify for government funded insurance, such as Medicare. In fact, I believe it is against the law for them to turn away an expectant mom from receiving necessary prenatal care.
Also, there are state laws to consider. Most states have regulations about how much money can be given to e-moms from the potential a-parents for needs. Check into your state for that info.
But as far as your last paragraph... yeah, it happens. It's not right, but it does happen.
It's a very tricky issue, ethically speaking. IMO, it is not ethical or okay for an adoptive family to pay expenses for an expectant mom b/c it adds WAY too much pressure for her to place, like she "owes" you her child in order to repay for what has been done for her (even if you've never said anything like that, it's the feeling of repaying a debt in some way). Agencies really use this for their gain, and that is disgusting.
Many moms can qualify for government funded insurance, such as Medicaid. In fact, I believe it is against the law for them to turn away an expectant mom from receiving necessary prenatal care.
Also, there are state laws to consider. Most states have regulations about how much money can be given to e-moms from the potential a-parents for needs. Check into your state for that info.
But as far as your last paragraph... yeah, it happens. It's not right, but it does happen.
When I was a birthmom I never signed up for any state assistance and I never saw I bill for any of my heathcare. We went through a private attorney and the adoptive parents paid for the medical expenses as well as a few thousand in addition that was for living expenses. At the time I was living with my mother and that money went towards college. I never viewed any of it as a bribe. I didn't ask for any of it, this was what the attorney had set up as standard practice. I will say that I interviewed several diffrent placement options- the state, adoption agencies, catholic charities and the private attorney. I chose the attorney in part because medical expenses were completely covered. Fwiw.
ETA: this was 15 years ago- I am sure things change.
No. The agency I used even asked me several times if I was sure I did not need more paid. The agency wanted to make sure I was comfortable with the amount I paid. Luckily, I had some savings and was able to pay for quite a bit of the medical services. The adoptive family was willing to pay more. IMO, I did not think they should have to pay for my doctor bills. I was the one who got pregnant, they were going to have the baby for the rest of her life. They have enough costs. Does that make sense?
No, I knew I would have to pay it back if I changed my mind, but I didn't feel indebted.