How far into marriage did you know

dansgrl05

How far into married life did you start trying for a baby?

We've been married just over a year and I get two responses from people. Either they think we're nuts to have waited so long or they think we haven't been married long enough. The other day, my cil said she thought we should wait at least five years because that's what she did. Yeah, well nobody asked ya!

lil_rhody

We started right away. We'd been living as married for 2+ years by the time we were married (joint accounts, powers of attorney, everything). People thought we started too soon, but I'm glad we didn't wait.

BabyRN2009

We waited just over 2 years to start trying, mainly because I've been a full-time nursing student AND working up until last month when I finished school.  We started trying last December because we figured if we got pg right away I'd still be due after graduation.  We didn't tell anyone we were trying, and still haven't.   When we got married almost 3 years ago, everyone was telling us to wait (I was 20 and DH was 21)....now they're all asking us when we're having kids!   Good grief...

luvsbunny

Hey we live kind'a close

I waited 5 yrs but I had a big reason. I am from a different country and DH is american. I wanted to make sure I was going to be happy living here and that I would be able to know enough of both cultures to teach my children.
DH and I also wanted to make sure we had enough savings so once we have kids we can go visit the grandparents at least 1x a year.

But I think everyone is different and whenever you are ready, you are ready!

 

teppy2008

Seriously, this is a completely individual decision.  Only you know whether you and DH are ready to bring a baby into your relationship.  DH and I have only been married 9 monthsand have been trying since 3 months after the wedding.  There's something to be said for having some time just for the two of you, but I think you've had plenty.  As long as you and DH are on the same page, I think that's all tha matters.

Mia07

We waited just one yr to start trying, but we had just found out about my pcos and knew it could take awhile.

*We woulda never guessed we'd still be trying now though

Mrs.EmmaLouise

We started when we got back from the honeymoon.  We were together for six years- and everyone knows I want lots of kids.  So they expected us to try right away.  I dont care if people think we tried/are trying too soon- they can mind their own buisness.

dansgrl05

luvsbunny:

Hey we live kind'a close

I waited 5 yrs but I had a big reason. I am from a different country and DH is american. I wanted to make sure I was going to be happy living here and that I would be able to know enough of both cultures to teach my children.
DH and I also wanted to make sure we had enough savings so once we have kids we can go visit the grandparents at least 1x a year.

But I think everyone is different and whenever you are ready, you are ready!

 

Nothern Cali huh? Do you like it? My DH is Italian and his whole family was born in Italy but moved here so he was born here. It can be a very different world for sure.

dansgrl05

Mrs.EmmaLouise:

We started when we got back from the honeymoon.  We were together for six years- and everyone knows I want lots of kids.  So they expected us to try right away.  I dont care if people think we tried/are trying too soon- they can mind their own buisness.

Well said!

hopingwaiting

We waited four years after getting married to start so we'd be further in our careers and have time to travel and do things with just us before the kids came and changed our priorities completely.  We've been together ten years total so it's been a looong time without trying!

suntoto@gmail.com

I got pregnant before we where married (who knew I could get pregnant on birth control???).  We have been trying since I m/c which happened 3 months before we where officially married.  Everyone knows we are trying, as it is no secret, but we don't talk about our troubles TTC with many people- only those who have been through something similar.

dansgrl05

suntoto@gmail.com:

I got pregnant before we where married (who knew I could get pregnant on birth control???).  We have been trying since I m/c which happened 3 months before we where officially married.  Everyone knows we are trying, as it is no secret, but we don't talk about our troubles TTC with many people- only those who have been through something similar.

Both of my pregnancies came while using birth control. I haven't used birth control (unless you count the withdrawal method) since and I haven't gotten pregnant. Go fig.

amberdaz

We started trying 6 months after wedding. However we had been together 6 years.

mindyschaller

I went off the pill right before we got married and started TTC about two months later (really, DH decided he hated condoms). We were 21 and 22 and LOTS of people had a big problem with us getting married let alone trying for kids that young.... I say eff 'em, do what's right for your family.

jen-dale

DH wanted to wait a year +. A lot of our friends got married young or had just had babies around our wedding so they all said "enjoy your time together" and I think it freaked him out.

I didn't want to wait that long so we decided 6 months to start trying-trying to DH was just not using any bc (and no more p&p). I was always scared it was going to take us a long time. I don't know why. I was never scared of m/c but I think I have had the fear for a long time that I couldn't get pg.

 I quit smoking in June, 3 months after the wedding in preparation of TTC in Sept. At that point I told DH it was "up to him". I gave him the "power to decide" when he was ready. Honestly, I think about 2 weeks later he "decided" and didn't pull out. I was shocked and happy. I won Of course now, after all the drama we have had with TTC, I get to gloat from time-to time about how I am glad we didnt start trying after a whole year had gone by. Although, I wish I didn't have any reason to do that

attyalice

We waited 4 months... just because of the time of year we wanted to be pg.

So much for that.

luvsbunny

dansgrl05:

luvsbunny:

Hey we live kind'a close

I waited 5 yrs but I had a big reason. I am from a different country and DH is american. I wanted to make sure I was going to be happy living here and that I would be able to know enough of both cultures to teach my children.
DH and I also wanted to make sure we had enough savings so once we have kids we can go visit the grandparents at least 1x a year.

But I think everyone is different and whenever you are ready, you are ready!

 

Nothern Cali huh? Do you like it? My DH is Italian and his whole family was born in Italy but moved here so he was born here. It can be a very different world for sure.

Yep, I am in Novato (marin area) but work in Sausalito.

I grew up in Brazil and moved here when I was already 24.

 

JennLuvsMatt

We started right around our 2nd anniversary.  Our main task was for DH to complete his MBA before we deliever and her graduted Dec of last yr.

PeetiePie

We'll be married 6 years in September.  DH is 29 and I'm 28.  I wanted to finish grad school first, which I did in 2007.  Then it was wait until this or that or the other thing.  Finally we decided I would stop bc in December of last year.  Now I wish we would have tried earlier. 

It's different for everyone.  The number of years your married won't make you a better parent.  I just know for me there was no way I could handle having a baby and being a newlywed at the ripe old age of 23!

JacobsGirl

Right away.  We were both raised in big, Catholic families and have always believed that children and marriage go hand in hand.  We were close friends for four years before we started dating, and together for two before we were married, so we felt we knew each other well enough.   We're lucky to have so many friends and family who share our beliefs, so no one made any comments when I announced that our first baby was due 9 months and two days after our wedding. lol 

I was pretty ignorant of my own fertility (didn't start learning how to chart until after my first was born), and how difficult it can be for so many people to get pregnant.  Now as I see my friends put off kids for a year and then struggle to get pregnant, I'm so glad we didn't wait.  Especially since it actually took awhile for me to get pregnant with my second and third.  Getting pregnant right away with my first turned out to be a fluke.

Alexandra*sMom

About 8 hours.  As soon as the recepetion was over. 

Eviebee

We were married for a 1.25 years before we started ttc, but it took us 8 months to get pg, so ppl think we waited 2 years.

Oh yes, and we'd been together for 6 years and living together for 5 (started dating in highschool)

I don't understand why anyone would judge you based on how long you've been married.  WTH does that matter?  I guess ppl just like to judge and give advice that no one wants.

Mrs.Brink

We started waited a whole 3 months. I was a good girl and started taking just before our wedding. We would've actually waited a little longer to get married if we didn't want kids so bad. But according to Dh we started "trying" on our honeymoon.  My mom told me to get an iud just before our m/c was confirmed (stil doesn't know about it) but has since changed her mind (she just wanted usmore financially secure). And one a$$ of a coworker told us that if it's taking this long to get ku then it's just not meant to be. She's had 3m/c and took 4yrs to have a perfect little girl....good thing she didn't take her own advice huh?

californiastars

I told DH that I wanted to wait at least a year, but once we got married I wanted a baby right then. We actually started TTC after a year and a half. Sad thing is, we have now been married for 3 years and no baby yet.

cindybaf

We're just starting ttc, and we've been married three years come July. Our loss was a surprise right after our first anniversary, and we waited since our lives took very different turns(DH went back to school and I switched jobs twice, working only part time last year and full time this year). But if we had it my way we would have started when I was 21, when we first started dating, since I knew I wanted him to be my baby daddy. We probably could have gotten pg pretty easily back then as well seeing that we were always fooling around.  

1stTimeMommy2Be

if it were up to me, we prob would have started trying after 3 months.. however, he wanted "5 years"... we settled on 3... we got our BFP exactly 2 months before our 2 year anniversary... now we are TTC...

kristinem17

We waited over 3 years.  We were very happy and successful in our careers and weren't ready to make any major life changes until that point.  As we both worked at sea (for a cruise line) I actually had to leave my job, after 12 years of service, in order to persue our dream of having a baby.  DH continues with the company howevver.

1stTimeMommy2Be

kristinem17:

We waited over 3 years.  We were very happy and successful in our careers and weren't ready to make any major life changes until that point.  As we both worked at sea (for a cruise line) I actually had to leave my job, after 12 years of service, in order to persue our dream of having a baby.  DH continues with the company howevver.

that's awesome! what cruise line?

Ginaincali

we actually weren't even married before we started trying.  We had both been married before and knew we wanted to be with each other.  Regardless if we were married or not we knew we would eventually be married.  I was only divorced for a little over a year before Bryan and I got married, I guess when its right you just know.  But yeah we tired for about 2 years before it finally happened.  We have yet to start trying again though...hopefully soon!

redshoegirl

We were planning on waiting until our first anniversary, but only waited about 8 or 9 months instead. But now it's past our first anniversary, so I guess we kinda ended up back with our original plan after all...

AB&TB

Our baby was actually born on our 5 year anniversary.  When we got married we wanted to wait 3 years to TTC.  Didn't quite work out that way though.

We got married after college, but we wanted to wait until we finished grad school and got jobs...this took 3 years.  Then it took me 8 months to get pg, then we lost that baby at 4.5 months, then TTC for 3 more months, so really it took us ~15-16 months to get pg with a sticky baby after we started TTCing. 

Bethany06

We started about a 1.5 years after we got married-I was ready to try right away-DH wanted to wait 2 years.  About 8 months into marriage OB/GYN said we should start trying due to possible endo-DH refused-I still struggle a little with resentment.