I think I may be a nutcase(kinda long)

RaeAnt

So Dh and I had been trying for a while before getting pregnant. When I finally got the BFP I was both excited and terrified. We both got a book to read up on things, I've been frequenting the various boards, we've been buying things, I've imagining once the little one is here....family vacations, bath time, etc. So last week, as some of you may have read as my FB status, we went to see the hospital and maturnity wing where I'd be going. In a room full of about 30 people I had a panic attack. Something I haven't had for 10 years! Apparently I'm a bit more stressed about being pregnant than i realized. (tend to only have panic attacks in I internalize emotions...emotions i didn't even know i had!) Anyway, moving on.....I"m a planner so like many of you I"m looking at all the inof I can to be well informed on what to expect...labor, after, bf,etc. The more i read the sicker  felt. I seriously think I'm making myself sick reading all this stuff and now i'm worried about having more panic attacks down the road. Apparently I"m a lot more scared than I realized and I'm not sure what to do about it. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way. I definitely am excited about the baby and even being pregnant; though the ms leaves much to be desired. Could it be because I'm just so miserable right now with the MS andfeeling overwhelmed with so much information? Dh couldn't be more supportive. He does everything for me. He even has his own sympathy pregnancy symptoms going on. Am I a nut job or is this considered relatively normal? Anyone else deal with any of this? I'm feeling a bit freakish right now. No one on the 1st or 2nd tri boards have mentioned anything like this...of course they may be afraid of the comments.....

Thanks for listening

ntnylizard

The panic attacks may be an extreme reaction, but some level of anxiety is definitely normal.

When we toured L&D (granted, not until the 3rd tri), I got short of breath and tears shot out of my eyes when we walked by a the open door of a room where a woman was in bed and her DH was next to her in a rocking chair.  For some reason the sight of a couple who was about to have a baby in the same place where I'd have a baby in a few weeks completely freaked me out.

I also had a mini-meltdown last weekend, panicking that my young and fun life was over.  We, too, planned this pregnancy and are very excited, but every now and then the doubt and crazies take over my mind.

You're definitely not alone.  Maybe just early and extreme

rlthomas7

First, what pregnancy book are you reading? What to Expect? From what I hear, that book alone can trigger panic attacks. I highly suggest Your Pregnancy Week by Week. It's a small dose of information, a few pages every week, and it doesn't focus on the scary stuff or overwhelm you. In fact, I remember laughing because it was giving advice in week 38 about getting your DH's work number in case you go into labor! So it's pretty low-key but still informative.

And sure, you can overprepare. But when I got overwhelmed at the responsibility, I remembered my friend Mike's words of wisdom... "Remember, dumber people have done this. And made very good parents." And he's right. In the end, the books and preparations don't help you carry and deliver the baby. You might need the message boards to find good car seat deals and learn secret tricks like the white noise machine for sleep and Dr. Brown's bottles for gas, but that info is a bonus. Parenting is mostly instinct and reaction, and it's very human. You'll do fine.

RaeAnt

The book is " the unofficial guide to having a baby", and I really should have looked at the last copyright. it's almost amusing, many things are a bit dated. The book is broken into weeks as well...what to expect, what your baby is doing,etc not really anything to get worked up about. In fact I haven't looked at in weeks. I think it's more the message board crazys and I don't just mean being on them, but the crazys on the message boards   I actually started freakin' last night when i was on Kellymom.com. Trying to find the pamphlet to show and describe ways to BF. Maybe it was also do to the late hour...after 1am...maybe it was that i was feeling like crap cause I couldn't keep anything in my stomach yesterday or I just had dry heaves...maybe i just need a Babymoon with Dh........

rlthomas7

Taking a breastfeeding class will help you way more than Kellymom before the baby is here. Kellymom is great after you've started, but it's hard to understand until you've actually started. Maybe like driving a car? You can sit in drivers ed for a year, but nothing teaches you to drive like driving.... So actually starting to breastfeed will help too. That's one thing that can be way overwhelming at first. I was afraid to open my breast pump box because I had no clue how it worked and didn't even want to see it. I didn't open it until day 2 in the hospital!

So yes, just get through the morning sickness and start thinking of what kind of furniture and decor you want in the nursery. You won't know what ways to BF until the baby comes and he/she will make that decision for you!

But when the crazies come out on the message boards, just come back here. Those of us who have been through whatever the issue is or are going through it now will talk some reality into you!

lindyanne

I never had a panic attack but I definitely feel scared to death and totally unprepared sometimes - and I only have three weeks left. I was watching "16 and Pregnant" this afternoon and DH & I just looked at each other like what did we get ourselves into lol I am sure MS could be heightening everything.  Maybe layoff the info overload until you're feeling a little better.

rsweethart

No you are not a nutcase!!!  My anxiety went into overload when I was pregnant (both times!), it was so bad I would make myself sick.  I am such a planner and you really can't plan out a pregnancy, which I had ALOT of trouble dealing with.  My biggest suggestion is to take a break from the books and boards.     I would also suggest Yoga or Pilates because of the breathing techniques, it's a great way to relax your body when you start to feel like your going to have a panic attack.  Hang in there and you'll be suprised how easily things fall into place once baby arrives.

fxz109

You're not alone.  I didn't have a panic attack, but I sat in our prepared childbirth classes and cried during the labor videos.  That's how much they freaked me out.  It made is seem so real and I had no idea how I was going to do that. 

It sounds like you need a break from pregnancy related things for awhile - maybe a day or two just to focus on you and DH and the miracle the two of you are participating in.   Stay away from the boards for awhile, put down the books, don't do any baby shopping, and get some rest. 

And after your break, if you want to read something light hearted and pregnancy related, The Girlfiends Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine and Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy are great.  (check them out of the library).  I think they're 2 books written by real women who had very real pregnancy experiences and very easy to relate to. 

 

KellyND04

I think a babymoon is definitely in order! Maybe some time to get away and just focus on you two.

 

I was the exact opposite .... I never thought much about BFing or even much about delivery or the life changes, but focused on the fun of being pregnant...then felt overwhelmed when DD was born and everything was kind of a shock I wasn't prepared for!  I do think there's a wisdom in our bodies to having the nine months to get used to the idea...maybe you just started a little early and I started a little late. Either way, I'd put us in the normal spectrum!

bridz2be

I agree with the pp - I think a break is in order I really do believe that you can overwhelm yourself thinking about everything there is to think about - there is a lot. I'm really just enjoying being pregnant right now and I research things a little at a time. I know I want to breastfeed, but am not even hitting those topics yet because it is so far down the road. I have scheduled all of our birthing classes and tours for the third trimester, but until then, I'm not really thinking about it. I'm not saying that I'm not preparing myself--because I feel really informed and read up on things each week, but I guess I feel that I'm focusing on me and my health more, because in the end this is best for baby.

 I second Your Pregnancy Week by Week. DH and I read this together each Sunday when we "graduate" to the next week. I also have Belly Laughs that I read, but unless I have a specific question, I don't really read my other books or frequent other boards, just here. I have What to Expect... and also find that it is just information overload. I'm also planning on taking a water aerobics class this summer and some prenatal yoga classes.

You're just hitting your 2nd trimester, and you should start to feel better soon. I think that a babymoon is a great idea, or at least a break from books, boards, etc. Even if you take a break for a week, you're baby isn't going anywhere and the information will always be there!

I hope you feel better! 

KellyND04

I also think Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy has a nice balance of seriousness and humor about the whole business of preparing for a baby but not overthinking it all.