How to deal with a bossy mother *RANT*

salena.M

My mother drives my husband and I crazy. We recently went on a mini-vacation to Great Wolf Lodge. I was wandering around the gift shop looking for a small memento to give our son to be from his first trip to great wolf lodge. I found a cute stuffed wolf that I wanted to buy and as I walk to the register my mother comes out of nowhere and takes it and says she'll give me bags of my old stuffed animals for the baby. I was taken aback because my husband never gets mad at me for wanting to get stuff for our son. So I didn't buy it that night, I waited till they had left the resort to talk to my husband about it. He was so mad and frustrated because we get nothing from my parents they don't help us with any money or anything so we don't feel like its their business how we spend money on our child. This isn't the first time she has done this sort of thing, I made the mistake of asking her to go to target with me after finding out we were having a boy. and everything I picked up she would tell me to put it back, because I would get all this stuff at our baby shower. This ended in my yelling at the store that I want to buy stuff for our son too. This is our first child! She has done the same thing about the fact that I want to buy a stroller car seat combo because they are a lot easier to take baby to and from and also so we can just have 2 bases so we aren't constantly moving the car seat back and forth. 

What are your suggestions? cause we are at the end of our rope. 

AliciaSpring

I totally get the mother issue. My mom is supportive but MIL does similar things for instance when I tried to show her what we bought for the baby she said oh did you get the crib I said no and she said oh good you don't need it now this will be so much better on your back. WTH? I stopped showing her what we got. 

salena.M

what did she say would be better on your back? 

jrnewhook

My mother and I have never been close, but we have an open relationship - open in the sense that I can call her out when she's being nasty and tell her to eff off and she can do the same with me. We might not like what the other has to say, but we always end up back on speaking terms within a week or less. It's always been like this. She's bossy and narrow minded, but I never hesitate in telling her this. She's definitely nowhere near my favorite person, but she's my mother, so I've accepted that I have to put up with her.

It's very liberating to tell your mother off when she deserves it LOL. Is this a possibility? Sorry you have to deal with her, it's definitely not fun.

minda31807

Ignore her is my advice.  Buy what you want for your child and if she has a problem with it, oh well.  There is no way to predict what people will or will not get you for your shower. You could try writing her a letter/email tellling her how you feel and see if that helps.  Also have your DH step up and tell her where her place is and how things are going to be. 

Good luck.

AliciaSpring

salena.M:

what did she say would be better on your back? 

sorry the PNP

salena.M

jrnewhook:

My mother and I have never been close, but we have an open relationship - open in the sense that I can call her out when she's being nasty and tell her to eff off and she can do the same with me. We might not like what the other has to say, but we always end up back on speaking terms within a week or less. It's always been like this. She's bossy and narrow minded, but I never hesitate in telling her this. She's definitely nowhere near my favorite person, but she's my mother, so I've accepted that I have to put up with her.

It's very liberating to tell your mother off when she deserves it LOL. Is this a possibility? Sorry you have to deal with her, it's definitely not fun.

 

I don't know if its really an option for my mom. We have always been really close but she has had such a hard time letting go and realizing I have my own family now. I wish I could just tell her to F off and just be done with it.  

ladysingstheblues

Ugh.  This is exactly how it is with my mother, not my MIL.  She's always looking at me like I'm an idiot when I speak of/want to buy things for my FIRST CHILD. 

policewife08

salena.M:

jrnewhook:

My mother and I have never been close, but we have an open relationship - open in the sense that I can call her out when she's being nasty and tell her to eff off and she can do the same with me. We might not like what the other has to say, but we always end up back on speaking terms within a week or less. It's always been like this. She's bossy and narrow minded, but I never hesitate in telling her this. She's definitely nowhere near my favorite person, but she's my mother, so I've accepted that I have to put up with her.

It's very liberating to tell your mother off when she deserves it LOL. Is this a possibility? Sorry you have to deal with her, it's definitely not fun.

 

I don't know if its really an option for my mom. We have always been really close but she has had such a hard time letting go and realizing I have my own family now. I wish I could just tell her to F off and just be done with it.  

I think this is what you need to do.  Let your mom know that you are a grown up now, you have your own family and you get to make the decisions.  If she doesn't like it tough, but she either has to deal with it or not be a part of the child's life. 

If she is this bad now, it is only going to be 10 times worse once the LO comes along and you will end up resenting her.  I think she needs to see that while you value her opinion, it is you and your DH in the end that gets to choose what happens with YOUR child.

RaeAnt

You are going to want multiples on most things anyway... your and maybe DH car for the car seat.. playpen or place like like for yourself and maybe grandparents.....If you get the items for your shower, you can always return the ones you bought... no harm.. no foul.

I would have thrown a fit,personally. If we had to depend on all the things that were promised us by our IL, we'd be screwed. You said your  said you'd be getting all the stuff anyway that were yours, yet they havent helped with anything..I have to wonder why she hasn't given it to you yet. That would certainly let you know what you already had so you didn't buy it and it would be a nice trip down memory lane. I"d request those stuff animals and anything else that she is supposely going to give you that had been yours. She is she actually follows through. It just sounds like she like to control things. And, IMO, if it isnt nipped in the bud, itll only get worse once the little one is born.