Can you manage without DH?

goodheartedmommy

I don't mean forever, but can you go about your life without needing his help all the time? Since DH worked nights for so long, I never really got used to having his help (and to be honest, he's not super helpful anyway, and is just like an extra child at times). I go where I need to go, do what I need to do, and I manage just fine. Sometimes having him around either slows me down or stresses me out since he tends to freak out when our kids are being kids in public.

Anyway, I have several friends and my sister who just can't go places without their husbands, even if it's just one kid. I've never had the luxury of having a husband who could take off of work whenever he wanted to do things like go to the zoo or out of town trips, etc. Maybe I'd feel differently if it were an option for us? 

Anyway, which type are you?

 

kevschickee2

I def manage fine with the 2 girls myself.  I have been taking them out together since Danica was a tiny baby so that isn't a huge deal.  DH is great about taking the girls upstairs to play and letting me have time so I would miss that a ton.  He plays great with the kids

GinandTonic

goodheartedmommy:

Sometimes having him around either slows me down or stresses me out since he tends to freak out when our kids are being kids in public.

This.  I'm perfectly fine without him.  Having him around often "busts our groove".  That said, he's still fun.  And to give him a lot of credit, I couldn't manage financially without him (at least without me going back to work fulltime, etc, etc).

kylara111

goodheartedmommy:

I don't mean forever, but can you go about your life without needing his help all the time? Since DH worked nights for so long, I never really got used to having his help (and to be honest, he's not super helpful anyway, and is just like an extra child at times). I go where I need to go, do what I need to do, and I manage just fine. Sometimes having him around either slows me down or stresses me out since he tends to freak out when our kids are being kids in public.

That's us.  DH can be helpful, but not always.  A lot of the time on weekends, we each take one kid. 

AnnapolisLari

It's actually harder when he's around. He is like your H and disrupts our groove because he knows nothing about little kids.

RCH151

MH travels M-F every week right now so I guess I am forced into the camp that does it all without the H.

docmay25

Dh definetely helps my sanity when it comes to the kids.  He is a hug help with the kids, very hands on when he is home.  But at the same time he is a pain around the house.  On the weekends the house ends up being messier with him around, he stresses me out with the house when he is home.

Can I manage to do things without him?  Yes.  I take my kids everywhere with me.  From shopping to parties etc. I have gone places with my kids and no dh without a problem.

lizlemon77

GinandTonic:

goodheartedmommy:

Sometimes having him around either slows me down or stresses me out since he tends to freak out when our kids are being kids in public.

This.  I'm perfectly fine without him.  Having him around often "busts our groove".  That said, he's still fun.  And to give him a lot of credit, I couldn't manage financially without him (at least without me going back to work fulltime, etc, etc).

all of this.

zacook

dh travels a lot with work and there are times that its been just me and the girls for a month or 2 at a time... I manage just fine...

DandelionMom

I pretty much manage the house and kids without him.  When he's home, it is easier because he puts Gracie to bed.  And of course, I wouldn't be able to be home if he didn't work so hard.

neesernicole

I can manage fine with the day to day stuff and going out in public too but he definitely saves my sanity.  I'm sure M gets sick of me at times and he has this amazing energy that kicks in when I don't have it anymore.  Props go out to those single moms!!

krub

Yes, I can manage.  Some things are easier w/o him being around (like bedtime) and other things are just tortuous without him there.  Some things are just much more enjoyable if both of us are there.  I could do it alone and being alone with my kids wouldn't stop me from doing something I wanted to, but I don't want to do it alone all the time ... to me that's the whole point of being married and having a family.

pincushions

kylara111:

goodheartedmommy:

I don't mean forever, but can you go about your life without needing his help all the time? Since DH worked nights for so long, I never really got used to having his help (and to be honest, he's not super helpful anyway, and is just like an extra child at times). I go where I need to go, do what I need to do, and I manage just fine. Sometimes having him around either slows me down or stresses me out since he tends to freak out when our kids are being kids in public.

That's us.  DH can be helpful, but not always.  A lot of the time on weekends, we each take one kid. 

 

this. dh rarley does anything unless he asked and frankly I am tired of asking.

elm1032004

my DH owns his own business with his dad and they are only closed 3 days a year.......so I can manage just fine without him.  He works weekends but has either Monday or Tuesday off each week.  I also work full time, but I have a lot of vacation time so I'll take off days on his day off over the summer to have family time (otherwise we don't get it) but I wouldn't hesitate to bring the 2 kids some place on my own, I do it all the time.  The only thing I won't do if I don't have another adult with me is take the kids swimming.  Neither of them can really swim yet so I just don't feel super safe taking them alone........

squishywife

absolutely.  dh is oot a lot.  a lot.  so its so normal to me.  i have other friends however who rarely do things without their dhs.  and some of them only have 1 kid!!! 

stacynikki

DH travels a lot for work so I can manage just fine without him.  However, we do just about everything together when he is in town because we want to. 

elm1032004

I should also add that my DH can manage the kids fine on his own too.....he has them one day a week to himself when I am at work......

gracendantho26

Absolutely. He is gone all day so I'd be pretty housebound if I depended on him. He cannot just easily leave his work and when he did, like for a special dad day at kindergarten a few weeks back, he got no less than 5 phone calls on his work cell for the hour he was gone. I actually look foward to Monday sometimes so that we can do our normal routine.

Mrs.Provost

Honestly, DH is more of a hassle than a help when he's around.

I had a nice routine going with the kids while DH was at work, and when he got laid off, it took some serious getting used to, to have him around 24/7. I kind of can't wait til he goes back to school and gets out of my hair a little.

ridesbuttons

I have no problem being with my boys without DH around.  Mornings are actually easier when he is away, which is at least one night/morning a week (I would never, ever tell him this though, lol!)

If we are going out (say, to a restaurant) I prefer having another adult around.  My 2 year old is full-on go all of the time.  But overall managing without DH is just fine and always has been.

I do get a chuckle out of the new moms who are worried about going out without their husbands.  Some seem to stay 'locked up' for weeks or longer.  But, that is an individual thing and I guess I really shouldn't judge.

Ah, who am I kidding.  Of course I judge. 

cristiana

I can manage just fine without him. Of course, it is much easier when he's around.

happy_momma

It's helpful to have him around in the evenings for getting dinner ready and getting the kids to bed - he's especially good with DS, but we manage fine when he's not around.

mattslady

I would be really hurt if I worked my ass off while my husband stayed home only for him to think I was a PIA and "slowing him down" when I was home.  Just sayin.

MarchMom06

stacynikki:

DH travels a lot for work so I can manage just fine without him.  However, we do just about everything together when he is in town because we want to. 

This exactly.

A-baybride

Yep, I can and do manage just fine without him.  In fact I really don't find life any harder when he's OOT. 

The only thing I don't want to do without him is fly - my mostly-sweet girl turns into a tasmanian devil and it's horrible with or without him!

npeacock

happy_momma:

It's helpful to have him around in the evenings for getting dinner ready and getting the kids to bed - he's especially good with DS, but we manage fine when he's not around.

 This.

Chrisy-Wyobride

Yes, I SAH so I am alone w/ the girls 10+ hours a day...if I relied on him, we'd never go anywhere--LOL!  But I do like having him around, he's helpful w/ the older kids especially.

eclaires

Sure, I can manage.

He's super helpful when he is around though.  He's as good at being with Jackson as I am.  Although I would say he doesn't take him out much on his own - he's not a pain if we both go somewhere (he does great, in fact and it gives me a break!).  He just is less into going places than I am.  I'm sure he could handle it as well as I do, but he and Jackson tend to do stuff at home (like work in the yard or play outside) instead of going to the grocery or whatever like I do since I'm a SAHM.

This is actually one area that I don't worry about at all when we have 2 kids.  I know he'll continue to be as involved as I am and it's nice to be able to depend on him, even though I don't need it day to day.

WBs_Bride

I can and do manage without him, but I definitely get antsy toward the end of a few days. I need a break after days on end nonstop with both kids. I guess I'm lucky my DH travels only a couple of times a year. I don't look forward to his trips away, that's for sure!

PoundCake

Totally.

Andrewsgal

I can manage without him and do every day. That being said I don't want to have to ever truly manage all of live without him. DH is awesome with the kids and a HUGE help to me. I really look forward to weekend when we can do stuff as a family. It took a lot of guidance to help DH really know what to do and how he can be the biggest help to me, but he is and I love him for it.

He works his butt off every day so I can stay home with our kids, then jumps in the minute he walks in the door. I will never be able to thank him enough for giving me the chance to stay home. So in conclusion yes I can manage without him, but would never want to.

firefightersgal

My husband works 24 hour shifts, so I have to be able to make it on my own.  However, he's also home a lot. He's a big help, particularly when it comes to Nora.  I also know that if anything goes wrong, he'll be there to either fix it or help me deal with it.