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Working Moms
Personal Question
So I know this is a little personal since I am still pretty new to this and am with a bunch of strangers. But one of the worst things about being a working mom is the sex! My DH & I both work all day, by the time we get home, eat dinner & feed DS, play for a while and get DS to bed at 8:30, I am so exhausted! DH is very understanding, probably because he is so tired too, but it does take a strain on our marriage, we are lucky for 2x a week! I feel like a terrible wife! But I just don't feel like it....
Maybe I just needed to let it out to people who (hopefully) understand. Any of you face the same problems? Any ideas to spice things up?
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Re: Personal Question
Yes, we have all been there.
And just so you know, this is tame on the "personal" scale
How do you have a date night? Our son will be 11 months next week and I can not seem to get a date night? We tried every other week but I can't find a sitter. I tried switching off with another couple, but they weren't as into it as we were. Apparently they didn't need a date night....but we do.
I think twice a week is good for having a little one! You are probably comparing it to what you used to have.
Can you both take a vacation day on the same day or take 1/2 day? Meet for lunch? Meet at home for lunch (hint hint)?
I don't have many other ideas, because I know how hard it is to get alone time!
Yup we have that problem too. Funny, we just talked about this very subject this weekend. And we're making an effort to have sex more often and just make time for one another. And we've had sex 2x this week. I feel much closer to him when we have sex. That bond feels stronger.
Maybe you could buy some new lingerie (sp)?
M/C 1/6/10
Oh no...we don't actually go anywhere! We order in, light candles, take a shower. Madeleine goes down between 7 and 8. Sometimes, on the weekend, we will dress nicely and order from a nicer restaurant. I don't know, we get creative. We do have a date night once a month where we actually go out to dinner and that's nice. When we do that, I have my sister and her husband come over and get them some wine and a movie and they watch her. She's already sleeping so they're not actually watching her. We set it up for the first Saturday of every month and if my sister can't do it, we make it the following weekend or call my dad. We need it, it's necessary!
I don't think 2x a week is all that bad when you have a little one.
Date night doesn't have to be going out. DH and I have a date night tomorrow night after DD goes to bed. Laptops unplugged, dogs get a bone so they are entertained, we will have junk food and put on a movie. It's nothing special, but it is the 2 of us doing something together with no interruptions.
I don't mean to be rude, but
Twice a week, and you feel like a "terrible wife"? Really?
You need to get a grip and stop beating yourself up. You have an infant, and you both work full-time jobs.
Our sex life has certainly "suffered" since DS was born. At the end of most days, neither of us have the energy for sex. We still love each other and we find other ways to bond and feel closer. And when we do find the time/energy for sex, it's great.
I get that sex is an important part of marriage.......but circumstances - like being new parents - change, and you just have to focus on the other important parts of the marriage until the sex part gets easier again.
Don't stress about it to much. If you two agree 2x a week is good enough and you're both happy with it, then you're fine! When you both work full time and have kids, sex can take a back seat, but it IS important to keep up on it. Even if you guys are too tired for sex, do something close and intimate with eachother...like snuggling on the couch watching TV...or taking a bath together with candles and wine and some mood music...or take turns massaging eachother or have a make out session. Those things don't HAVE to lead to sex, but are still intimate bonding sessions. And date night! Go out ALONE once a week. How to have date night? Get a sitter! Send baby off grandmas or aunties or close friend for the evening. Do you have friends with kids that you can swap sitting with? We're lucky to have a circle of friends that all have kids within 1-2 yrs of eachother and we swap sitting. Go out to dinner, go to a movie, go to a martini bar, or putt putt, art gallery show, live concert, anything you guys enjoy! Being with eachother without kids is a must. Keeps you sane, and your bond going. Date night doesn't even have to be going out. Cook dinner with/for eachother, TURN OFF THE TV, light some candles put on some nice mellow music and enjoy your meal (after the kids have gone to bed...put em to bed early! like 7pm, or again send them off to a sitter.) OR ORder pizza, lay a blanket out on the floor in front of the TV and watch a good movie.
https://www.lovingyou.com/content/romance/datenights.php
Check out this site for date night ideas! Good luck!
We would be lucky to get 2 x per MONTH. Once a week and DH would think he was a porn star right now. LOL!
No time. We both work AND we co-sleep... so there is NO alone time... EVER.
We have a date night this weekend (once a month).... so we're looking forward to it. Maybe we'll try to do two date nights this month.
Throwing leaves