another one?!?

katiejo11

I talked to our case worker yesterday and she mentioned that she got a call from another emom over the weekend and she wants to place her baby with us. She saw our profile online. It still says 'placement pending" under our name since the adoption of G hasn't be finalized yet. So she wondered what tha meant.  Our CW said the emom is at her wits end and can't find any profiles she likes other than ours.....so now I cant stop thinking about her and her baby and I just keep praying for her and the situation she is in. At times I would love to have another one and other times I think that it wouldn't be fair at all, let alone even possible!  

She mentioned that she isn't very far along yet so she still has time; I just pray that she doesn't get too frusterated and do something drastic...kwim?

Could you please keep her in your prayers too? I don't even know the woman but I feel for her and hope she finds the perfect parents for her unborn child.

jacksjerseygirl

This is the hard part for DH and I as well. I think ppl want to pretend this doesn't happen in DA but we know that agencies have to turn away BMs of AA babies because they don't have enough adoptive parents available or they have to tell the BM that they don't have a family for them yet but maybe they will by the time the baby is born.

This results in e-moms parenting a child they knew they couldn't - which results in an increase of AA children in the foster care system at an older age where they have an even less likely chance of being adopted.

Our agency was contacting us even as our home study was being completed wanting to know if they could show our profile because they had e-moms but no APs to show them profiles of. It broke our hearts but we said no to those requests because we weren't "ready" yet. Even with Grant, we weren't "ready" but that time they called us with a specific situation. If we did not say yes to Grant's situation - he would have been placed in foster care because they had no other families and the BM couldn't raise him or she knew she would risk losing all of her children to the system.

 

Mrs.R2D2

My heart goes out to all involved.  Seriously, though, if you don't think this is the right baby for your family, maybe she'd want to consider my husband and me? 

Jas*sGirl

Keeping her in my prayers!!!! 

Dr.Loretta

Sending prayers her way.

DAT1205

WOW how sad......sending prayers your way and the familes way!

MyColonyNJ

sending prayers to this woman.  I hope she can find another great family for her baby

katiejo11

thank you everyone! this woman (and others in the same situation) is so heavy on my heart; it means alot to me that you are keeping her in your thoughts/prayers

CaptainSerious

I, too, am praying for her.

LadyRed7

i will be praying for her and that everything works out smoothly. It is such a sad situation when agencies have to turn down BM's. We just got into a convo yesterday with our SW about this.

Married3.22.03

WOW.  Honestly, if she's that early on, she really needs to be focusing on LOTS of other things (like prenatal care, finding a job if she needs one, getting access to support from places like WIC, getting independent counseling, making a parenting plan, finding a place where she and her baby could live...) besides finding potential parents.  Praying that she has all the support that she needs to make the best decision without pressure.

PSU-NCBride

I've heard of this happening a couple times. One case is my actual doctor who has two adopted boys within two weeks of each that aren't related. They were shown to BM 1 and spoke with her and felt a connection. Then BM1 disappeared and they never heard of her again. They were then matched with BM2 and were there for his birth. The night he was born BM1 resurfaced and long story short they adopted her son as well. She said it was a very strange situation but when they had talked with BM1 they felt a real connection and had told her they would like to parent her son. She felt they couldn't go back on that. They have a great family but I'm sure its just as hard as having twins, plus all that legal work.?

The other case I know is a friend that adopted a baby girl, their first child. When she was 3 months old they knew they were going to want a 2nd child and thought that it would take longer the second time around since they were no longer a childless couple. They let their facilitator know and the next day got the call that their BM was pregnant again and wanted them to adopt the sibling. Their daughters are 10 months apart I believe. I think this situation (maybe not the timing) happens a bit more than the former.

So, I was just sharing because I know it does happen. Sometimes things just happen for a reason even when we don't plan them that way. ?Not saying you have to consider adopting this baby, but you shouldn't feel guilty if you want to.?

I'm hearing from our facilitator the same thing as Jacks. I don't think it is just AA babies, though. They have more cases coming in than they do adoptive families. ?

TTCgradstud

PSU-NCBride:

I'm hearing from our facilitator the same thing as Jacks. I don't think it is just AA babies, though. They have more cases coming in than they do adoptive families.  

I find this so interesting because our agency is saying that things are very quiet for them and for the agencies they are networking with.  Makes me think once we move and settle I should start contacting some of the agencies you ladies belong to!