what would you do in this situation?

dar12

I know that it's my choice to be  " in the closet" about ds's delays etc. I share that he has a sp and language delay but not much more. We tell dh family the very minimum because of how they are. For example mil instead of saying somthing along the lines of wow I bet my son and his wife have to work hard and /or look at the progress their son is making, she says" I just wish he was talking more" .... I wish she'd talk less..

 anyway... ds's cousin in a neurologist. He is a bit quirky himself but anyway he is just finishinghis residency and I'm not interested in anything he has to offer medically. we go to some of the best dr's in the country but I digress. each time he sees ds he just watches him and it disgusts me. I hate judgement anyway but that is part of life,I absolutely loathe when he's in town because of the way he just studies him. It's like he thinks he is in on this big dark secret or somthing. We have to see him next week and I think it's only a matter of time before he offers his "expert opinion". I hope i'm wrong about this but either way I know have to sit through the studying because he does this each time.

Do I just suck it up and watch him do this and if he says anything just smile and nod or say look kid, call me in 30 yrs when you know whats up..i know I overreact but ugh..

tia

mrsmaui

i can only answer if it were me, and i think i'd say "thank you very much. we are on top of things." and leave it there.

 

EnglishMajor03

I think no matter how much you are going to try to convince yourself, or he try to convince you, that he's not studying, like you said, I'm sure there's a bit of that going on.  I think too, because it's your LO, that you're going to be a little more sensitive to who is watching and wonder what they are thinking.  I'm guilty of this too.

IMO, if this person tried to offer advice, I'd be very comfortable shooting it down immediately.  I'd make it quite clear that you are working with a lot of great doctors who have a relationship with you and your LO where everyone is on the same page and it's been an excellent experience.  To save his ego you can always let him know if you have any questions for him you'll be sure to ask. This will probably make him still feel like an "expert" despite the fact that you want to tell him to go fly a kite.  At the end of the day, it's your business and yours alone. 

I find that if I start engaging in unsolicited advice I either get very defensive in the conversation which makes it awkward for the person who is just trying to help, OR I end up fuming about it for days to DH.  Either way it isn't healthy and is frustrating.  GL with your situation.  I hope whatever you decide to do it works out for you and your LO.