Let me get your opinion:

lyse2143

So my SIL, I love her to death, barely disciplines her daughter when she is out with other people. She will sit back with her phone just chillin while her daughter gets into shiit. It drives me nuts, but then I feel like I might judge too much. Here is an example:

Tonight, she is sitting in the living room with her friend and I and of course I'm on GP because I waited long enough. So her daughter kept touching my computer and I would say "no touch" and her daughter would say "touch?"

So she spills my wine (GRRRR) and I'm cleaning it up and she is touching the laptop again. She ends up turning it off in the time that her friend, not her mother said "Lyse said not to touch that." Sooo I was like "NO touch", and she says again "touch?" And I looked at her mom and said Umm hello? She was like "What are you saying my name for, I'm not the only adult here that can tell her no." So I was like "well just so you know the next time she touches it I'm going to smack her hand." She was like "I don't care, I'd smack your child's hand." I was like ok good to know. I mean, WTF??

I mean on one hand I give her credit for not minding if people tell her child what she can and cannot do in their home, but take a little control, will ya?

christykell

I would straight up set whatever boundaries needed between you and that kid. Just because her mother lets her do whatever doesn't mean you can't let the kid know what is or is not ok with you. Eff that. I would straight up swat her hand if she didn't get the first few times.

one of my biggest pet peeves is kids who don't behave and parents that don't give a shiit.

hopefulhoney

hmm, well It is good that she does not have an issue with you saying 'no' to HER child (too bad she wouldn't do it herself though).

Kie310

I hate when parents don't discipline their own kids. You had the kid, you have to take care of the child & raise it! Disciplining it part of that!!

?

Rhonie82

That is not cool. Maybe she feels like since you guys are family you shouldn't have a problem with discipling her.

lyse2143

Yeah she is an angel when she is without her mom. Different story when she is there. I really do try to stay out of it, unless she does something I do not like or approve of in MY house or MY car. Last weekend we went out to breakfast and we left and got some mints. Then she wanted gum from her mom and her mom was looking and I said Absolutely not! No gum in my car. I've seen her chew gum and it does not stay in her mouth. Then she was like well you guys gotta not suck on your mints in front of her, its not fair. I was like no, I'm an adult and she is a kid and she needs to learn that.

Rhonie82

How old is the little girl?

laralynn

Wow, that's crazy!  The parents should discipline and not wait on others to do it for them.  I feel awkward telling other people's kids what to/not to do.  I am always weirded out that they're gonna think I'm over-stepping my bounds.  But hey - you were given the green light! 

lyse2143

To be completely fair, she is a single mom so she doesn't get much help. I know she feels like she needs a break and I think she thinks coming to our house she gets it, but when she is here every night it gets old. One time she was here, she broke a corning dish because I had salsa in it, and no one was watching the little girl and she pushed it onto the deck trying to get some salsa. I was busy running around serving people, Rob was busy cooking, and she was texting on the deck swing. Then she has the nerve to say I shouldn't have had glass or something breakable on my deck. Umm what? Ugh sorry I just needed to vent.

lyse2143

Rhonie82:

How old is the little girl?

2.5 and she gets away with murder

lyse2143

laralynn:

Wow, that's crazy!  The parents should discipline and not wait on others to do it for them.  I feel awkward telling other people's kids what to/not to do.  I am always weirded out that they're gonna think I'm over-stepping my bounds.  But hey - you were given the green light! 

I feel weird, awkward, biitchy too. I just don't feel like it is my place, but my house is my house and my rules. I just am glad she doesn't get mad, but at the same time I wish I wasn't put in that position.

juietbride

I agree in trying to take control of those situations, I find that I am reprimanded regularly by my hosts for disciplining my child and not letting him 'have fun'.  It frustrates me to no end.  DH and I do shifts on who watches DS like a hawk when we are visiting with friends, he is our child so he is our responsibility.  I let my guard down once last weekend and my child showed us that he can remove an ink cartridge from a small printer that our host said that he could play with, our host thought it was awesome that DS is so smart.  I was annoyed because it was DH's shift with DS and I had just come out the restroom to discover this.

SunshineKira

I'm sorry, that sucks! Kids should be extra well behaved when they're at someone else's house. You shouldn't be having to discipline her child. I'd be super pissed if wine (hope it was white!) was spilled and a kid was messing with my computer. She should be extremely embarrassed...theoretically.

christykell

Sorry but I don't think she gets a free pass for being a single mom who needs a break. Maybe I'm a hard assss but that's no excuse in my book. You gotta discipline your kids and be the adult no matter what your life situation may be.

lyse2143

christykell:

Sorry but I don't think she gets a free pass for being a single mom who needs a break. Maybe I'm a hard assss but that's no excuse in my book. You gotta discipline your kids and be the adult no matter what your life situation may be.

Well I can see that as an excuse to be a little more relaxed, but you're right she still needs to step up and be the parent 100% of the time.

Rhonie82

lyse2143:

Rhonie82:

How old is the little girl?

2.5 and she gets away with murder

Oh ok. I have a cousin around that age that acts the same way around his mother. Drives me nuts but I spank his hand right in front of her and she has rolled her eyes at me but I refuse to let him tear my house up and then leave. 

sweet_niki

I hate when parents don't do anything when they are around other adults because they think others will step up for them. I have a couple friends with kids and whenever we are out, they all let their kids run around like crazy and do whatever they want without saying anything until I have had enough and speak up. My SIL is the total opposite. She won't discipline her kids when she's over at your house but as soon as you say anything she freaks and tells you to leave her kid alone. I get more upset with the parent then the kid, they only push because the parent isn't telling them to stop. That's my opinion anyways.

OneDayAtaTimeX87

christykell:

I would straight up set whatever boundaries needed between you and that kid. Just because her mother lets her do whatever doesn't mean you can't let the kid know what is or is not ok with you. Eff that. I would straight up swat her hand if she didn't get the first few times.

 

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