When your DC likes a parent more than the other.

sara&mike

My DD is very attached to me. She's quite whiny around me, tries to push her boundaries. I am firm with her. But I have to do everything! She'll throw a fit if my DH wants to put her to bed or anything like that!

Last night, I left to go to Target, my DH had come home from softball and DD was in bed, apparently not asleep. I left and he called me saying she's flipped out because I left and told him she doesn't love him. My heart ached for DH last night.

He was crying because he thinks our DD doesn't love him. I know she didn't mean it but he doesn't know why she doesn't like him. When he's home, they play together, go on walks together, all without me. I've tried explaining to him that its just a phase but he doesn't see it like that.

Please help me!! I don't know what else to say to him. I talk about him when its just DD and me and all the fun things they do together. I don't get it.

Sorry its a little long. Thanks, Sara

elm1032004

It's a phase and I think all kids go through that.......and they get used to one parent doing A,B,C with them and the other doing X,Y,Z with them.  Right now you are the go to parent....in a few months it will change.  Just try to have DH do more of the bed time stuff with her or try doing those things together for a while to help get her used to it.

Mrs.Provost

Honestly, I'd probably try to have him do bedtime, etc with her as much as possible. Go out for a bit each evening, go grab a coffee or something with a friend, or meander around the mall.

I know with both of my kids, when they're pulling the same kind of thing, we've had to kind of push the issue. Evan has 'refused' me, mostly when I was pg with Abby or shortly after she was born, and so I made a point of doing his bedtime for a week or two. Every night. And he got over it.

Abby does this with DH. She will FREAK out until I take her and then she's fine and sleeping within minutes. So, when that happens - DH gets her bedtime duties until she kind of gets over it. 

 

stacynikki

DS used to be like this (before he could talk thank God because I don't know if I could have handled him telling me he doesn't love me!).  He was like this with DH.  ALways wanted his Daddy, never wanted me to do anything, didn't want me to hold him, didn't want me to play.  It was very heartbreaking and I cried more then once about it.  He's come around and now there are times he won't let DH do anything with him.  More often then not he's all about me lately.  I think kids just go through phases and she'll come around.  DS's Daddy phase lasted a whole year but even through the whole year I knew DS loved me even if he did prefer DH.  I'm sure your DD loves your DH.  He just has to remember when she loves being with him when they're playing or when they go on walks! 

Also, maybe she's just used to you being there at bedtime. Lately, DS won't let DH put him to bed at all.  He loves it when I rock him and sing to him before putting him in his crib and DH doesn't do that.  So he just wants me at bedtime. 

mommy06

My dd is the same way.  She ALWAYS wants me.  I thought she would grow out of it and she has to an extent.  My dh started bringing her into our bed around her bedtime so she could lay in bed with him, play and watch tv and eventually fall asleep within about 30 min. He will then bring her to her bed where she sleeps till morning. She LOVES it and now that is the only way she will go to sleep.  I cannot put her to bed unless he is not home because she crys to go into "Daddy bed". 

Maybe have your dh do something special with her, that is just his thing.  It is funny becuse when my dh is not home she will just crawl into her bed and go to sleep without a sound. He has made it his little thing with her and they are alot closer because of it.

 I will not lie, she still prefers me over him most of the time, but it is MUCH better than it use to be.  OK sorry for rambling and good luck.

sara&mike

Thank you everyone! I keep telling him that its a phase but she's pretty much been attached to me since birth. I do travel for work 4-5 times a year and she's perfect for him! No whining, nothing. She listens well for him and everything. I just wish she was better for him when I am here.

Sara

GrowingFamily

Our oldest DD went thru this.  All I could say to DH was that it was a phase and it WOULD pass.  And it did.