As a birthmom, I am nervous

hersheykiss

Many of you have "heard" my story about being a birthmother almost 8 years ago. I just sent the agency some pictures of my 3 month old, asking that they pass them along to my daughter I placed. I also sent her a nice letter, updating her on what has happened the past 18 months. The agency only required pictures sent to me until she was 2, and now she is almost 8. I asked the agency to see if the family is willing to send me some recent pictures. I am a little nerous of what I might here. I am afraid I may hear "NO."

I know it will be a while before I hear anything. I am just nervous and anxious to see what my little girl looks like. *Sigh* anyway, back to your regularly scheduled program...

Dragonfly_Bride

I'm glad you took the chance, and I hope you'll get a positive response back.

CaptainSerious

I am so sorry your heart is on the line as you awaiting her (and her family's) decision.  I wish you luck, and peace with whatever response comes your way.

May I ask, how long has it been since you have had contact with her or her family?

DAT1205

Good Luck to you and I hope that it works out the way that you want it to.  I give you alot of credit for trying and letting her know that he now has a sister!  CONGRATS!!!

hersheykiss

CaptainSerious:

I am so sorry your heart is on the line as you awaiting her (and her family's) decision.  I wish you luck, and peace with whatever response comes your way.

May I ask, how long has it been since you have had contact with her or her family?

The last time we had real contact with her and the adoptive family was 1 month after her second birthday. I have sent them pictures and updates since then, like when my DH and I got married. I have received nothing from them since her 2nd birthday.

Mrs.BoomBoom

Hoping for a positive response.

jacksjerseygirl

Your baby is beautiful. I think it is great that you are reaching out and I hope for all the best!

 I just want to say though, if the adoptive family turn you down know that it is most likely because of their own insecurities and fears. And, if they turn you down, I think you should keep sending them letters and pictures and updates about you and your life. It may just take them some time to realize that you don't want to disrupt their lives but add to it in a positive way.

Good luck to you!

CaptainSerious

hersheykiss:

The last time we had real contact with her and the adoptive family was 1 month after her second birthday. I have sent them pictures and updates since then, like when my DH and I got married. I have received nothing from them since her 2nd birthday.

I'm so sorry for their silence.  It must be difficult each time, as you put your heart out there and hope for a response.  I agree with jacks and fred, though.  Her family is most likely also nervous, and errs on the side of protectionism.  Maybe time will help them open up to you more.

silliestbunny

Sending you a virtual hug.....you are an amazing mom!

jewele803

I think it's great to keep trying, hopefully they will come around...I give you a lot of credit for putting youself out there, it's surely not easy!!

ColoRxGirl

jacksjerseygirl:

And, if they turn you down, I think you should keep sending them letters and pictures and updates about you and your life. It may just take them some time to realize that you don't want to disrupt their lives but add to it in a positive way.

Good luck to you!

This.

Even if they are not ready now, this child may want to connect with you at some point - and what a wonderful gift it will be to have all of your letters, cards, and pictures waiting for her!

Jermysgirl

I know people say that the first couple of years are for the birthfamily, but I disagree.  I feel like our relationship with Edith's birthfamily is all about her.  We get positive things from it, and so do the members of her birthfamily...but it's all for her benefit.  I am adament that we keep a relationship with her birthfamily so that she has a link to them.  I love that she looks like her birth-grandma, and I love that they adore her. 

I'm so sorry that your daughter's parents haven't kept in contact with you.  Mostly for the child you share...she may have some hard feelings for her parents when she's older.