Do you think...

beenbizzy

WMs have a harder time leaving children to go on an adult vacation than SAHMs?  I'm not trying to start a debate, I'm just curious.  We are planning an adult vacation with several other couples for next winter.  Four of the five moms are WMs and one is a SAH.  The SAH is bouncing of the walls to (in her words) "have a vacation from her kids."  I, on the other hand, am sad already thinking about leaving DS for a week.  I know he will be with his grandparents and have a normal schedule with daycare and such, I just feel guilty for leaving him while we go on vacation. 

Just curious what you think.  I can also see the other side of it, that SAHMs would have a hard time because they are with their kids 24/7 and never leave them. 

madhatter2003

I think it would be harder because I know I'd feel guilty about leaving them when I don't get to see them as much as I'd like anyway.  But it might be harder on the kids of SAHMs if they aren't use to sitters, which could make it much harder on the mom.

Temp159135562506975

i agree- i think planning to leave your DC when you work is hard b/c you really enjoy and want that time on the weekends with your child.... but i bet when those moms are actually away from their kids (the SAHM) they will have a harder time being away from them- since they aren't as used to it.

from my experience with my friends (i have a good mix of SAH and WOH friends) this is how it usually happens.... though- it really depends on the person of course.

my parents are always begging to babysit and tell us to go out more and leave DS with them- we have to remind them that weekend time is really special to us with dS and we don't WANT to do things without him!

Stellasmom

Yes, because I have limited time with DS, I feel guilty and feel like I'm "wasting" my time when I voluntarily spend time away from him.

When I was home on maternity leave I didn't mind leaving him at all.

jlw2505

I have to agree with everything everyone already said.  I work FT and so does my DH and my girls in are daycare FT.  We just had the girls sleep at the ILs for a night over the long weekend and while I loved my alone time with DH and being able to get some stuff done around the house that would have been hard with them there, I really missed them as the weekends is our family time.  We are trying to have them spend a night or an afternoon every so often with the ILS (my parents are out of town) so we get a nice date afternoon/night.  We try adn do a date night monthly and leave just before dinner but the longer afternoons or overnights are harder on me.  We all miss each other.  DH and I are planning a 5-7 vacation for this winter and I am totally excited to go away but also dreading being away from my girls for so long.  My parents will come take care of them for us since my ILs work and its just too much even with them being in daycare for them.  I do it though as its good for me adn our marraige and really, for the kids as well.

JLSBWG

This is a hard one for me either way - SAHM or WM.  I think I could leave him with my Mom for a weekend, but not a week.  I'm just not there yet.  I do think though WM's have a break every week at work.  SAHM's probably rarely get a break from their kids. 

Printergirl

When I was on leave I loved afternoons and evenings out and away. Now I want to have every moment with him.

We have a wedding in October that would be great to have a sitter for. It's 6 hours away so my options if we choose to have a sitter are pay for 2 hotel rooms for 3 nights plus meals for my mom or leave DS with my mom for 4 days. I don't have the cash and am not leaving him for that long so it looks like Dh will be leaving the reception early while I do my bridesmaid duties!

azuremama

I think it could go either way.  Obviously, it's hard to leave the kiddo when sometimes I don't feel like I see him that much anyhow.  On the other hand, I know that he does well with people other than me.  And some of my SAHM friends are eager for a break and some are really uncomfortable with anyone other than them taking care of the kids and couldn't imagine leaving them for any significant period of time.  I think it just depends on the person.

duchess0727

I think it's a little harder for WM's because we don't see our kids as much, but I also think it has a lot to do with the person.  I have friends (both working and SAH) who refuse to go on vacations without their kids because they can't be away from them. 

hiltyn78

My DH & I (only) are going to Hawaii for a week in August and I'm excited and dreading it all at once.  I know that DD will have fun with her grandparents and we will be able to get some sleep and do stuff we wouldn't otherwise do with her.  I think it depends on the trip, the parents, the sitters, etc. etc. 

I do think it's harder for us (WM) than SAHMs to take trips like this emotionally, as a whole, though.