Anyone else not have help with the babies?

AlpacaBunny

My husband was off for 1 week when the babies were born but since then I'm on my own all day with the babies.  Once in a while, maybe once a week, my sister comes over for the day, but other than that it's all just me.  I'm breastfeeding and I feel like all I do is sit on the couch all day long and feed them, which is really all I do.  I get maybe 45 min between feedings, which isn't much time to do anything and one of them is usually awake at all times during the day.  Sometimes I seriously feel like I'm going to lose it.  I just wish I had an extra set of hands to just help when one of them is crying or like right now when I'm trying to pump and they keep spitting out their pacifiers and screaming at the top of their lungs.  I guess this is more of a vent, I just feel so overwhelmed sometimes and I just don't think my H or any of my family understands just how hard this is to take care of two babies all day long. 

ncsubride

I am alone everyday from 8am-6pm and it is the hardest job I have ever done and yes there are days (today is one of them) that I could lose my mind.

I understand 100% e-mail me if you want to talk:  kerri.marsh@gmail.com

 

CaliJenny

DH worked part time for a month after they were born.  I was alone for 5 months of maternity leave with no help.  It did get easier as they got older and the feedings were more spaced out but there is no time for yourself when you are alone. 

DH stayed home yesterday all day by himself and it was kind of a wake up call as to how much work it is. 

I give mad props to stay at home multiple moms. 

JBSugar

I've been alone since the beginning and I never had any help. DH never took any time off of work either.  hang in there....you'll get a routine down and that will help a lot!

copwife08

that was me except it was all day until around 4 and then all night from 9:30 (DH was working the overnight shift). I won't lie...it sucked and was really tough but everyone is still living. It will get easier. We have a routine now. As for the breastfeeding, I felt like that was all I was doing too. Are you tandem or individual? I would highly recommend trying to tandem if you can it makes things go so much faster. We are here if you need advise or to vent. hang in there.

JenandChris06

I am by myself all day long, too.  Right now is especially difficult because DH is working 12 hr. days 7 days a week, but hopefully that's ending soon. 

When my oldest were born, we lived in GA and our family were 800 miles away.  We didn't know anyone so it was just me.  Then this past summer we moved to PA, and now I have the newest additions and STILL no help.  Family is 2.5 hrs. away now and visits here and there, but every day is still just me and four kids under 2.5 years old!  I definately have my days, but my kids are constantly also giving me reasons to smile too, so i always try to focus on that. 

It's hard job, but worth every minute of the headaches!

tnkrbl21

I'm home all day by myself and I totally understand how you feel.  I'm not BF'ing, but I still feel like I sit on the couch all day long feeding, burping, putting paci's back in, changing diapers.  It is just soo hard and I feel so resentful that no one else really gets is.  When people come over they are all about "oh how cute they are" and all that, but no one really knows what it's like to be the only one all day long every day!!!  My mom watched them the other day for like 2 hrs while we went to the store and they both had to eat, there was a diaper explosion and they were non-stop crying.  When we came in she looked like she was going to lose her mind - and that was only 2 hrs!!!!  DH has only been home alone with them for a few hours at a time, mostly at night if I go out with my GF's, so they are mostly asleep.  He also doesnt get that I never have a day off - even when he's home helping me, I still have to do my "job".  Not that I would give it up for anything, but there really is no escape.

It is so hard and so stressful and from what I hear it is supposed to get easier - I guess I'm just waiting for the easier to roll in.  We have a schedule / routine and in the last 2 wks or so it has solidified a lot more so I guess that part is getting easier, but it's still a ton of work. 

dtwmco

I've been by myself for a while, too.  My DH was home for about 1 week after we got home from the hospital.  I agree that is so hard and completely draining.  I feel like one child would be a piece of cake! (I would never say this to my friends who have only one...)

The babies are definitely my entire life right now.  It's a good thing I love them so much, because that's what gets me through it!   I can't stand the crying when I am caring for one of them, and I feel like there is less time for play since feeding takes so long, but I always feel better later when they look up at me like I am the most wonderful person in the world.

I have tried multiple times to tandem feed, and most of those times have been unsuccessful, even when I follow the tips the kind people on here have offered!  I also prefer the one on one feedings... But I think that it would really be best to learn and master tandem...

You are not alone.  Do you have any teacher friends who will be off work in a few weeks?  I do, and I can't wait for them to come help me out during the day!!!  Even if it is just to hold and distract a waiting baby.

TripMomma

I have been on my own since day 1. Hubby was new to his job so he did not even get to take leave. He helps a ton when he gets home but he works a lot of 12 hour shifts so yeah I get worn out! I prefer not to have help though...I am the momma, I can do it!

Alycia04

I had help for the first week they were home, DH took time off. But then after that it was me and the kidlets. The first 3 months are the hardest. There's no real routine, they hit a few growth spurts so you feel like a big ol' milking cow and it's tiring, yes. BUT it does get easier as they get older and have a schedule of some sort. Mind you, right now, all they do is eat and sleep so I find it easier to get out of the house at this age since they sleep in their carseats so well. I would cruise over to a drive thru Starbucks and grab a treat for myself and Skyla just to feel like we got out of the house and did something not entirely baby related. Or go to the park after they were nursed and let her expell some serious energy.

Have you looked into any local programs that help MoMs? You can get a volunteer to come over for a couple hours twice a week or so. Never be afraid to ask for help ?

((hugs))?

JustaKidAtHeart

I am home alone from 730-530.  There are days where when DH gets home he gets handed the boys and I walk out.  I will tell you though when they get a little older and start going longer between feedings it will get better.  HUGS you are in the trenches now but it doesnt last forever. 

sfshawna

I'm by myself and some days are better than others.  I think the hardest part is having two toddlers on addition to the twins. 

I have found that the number one question I get asked when out and about is, "Do you have help?"  Maybe it's because I live in San Francisco, and evryone seems to have a nanny.  But, when I say no, people are shocked and appalled!  I go back and forth between being really proud that I'm doing it on my own, and then utterly exhausted and so ready for my husband to come home at the end of the day! 

Just think that this time is so fleeting, and try to appreciatre your babies' newness.  It really goes so fast!!!