I swear his "issues" come in threes

Ilumine

SS comes home from school with his saxaphone.  he has not brought it home to practice on all year, even though we told him to.  DH's response to SS's not following through is if SS doesn't practice then he gets kicked off of band and he will learn his lesson. (my response would have been more hard core and parental, but hey DH doesnt want to parent so be it.)

So one scale later, he comes storming out of his room complaining that his G is leaking and he needs needs needs a new pad before tomorrow's test or he won't make it into symphonic.

My response, it is 3:40 and I am not sure if the music shop can help, let me call.  So he storms back into his room all in a panic about failing.

Turns out, the guy at the music store is gone for the day and since SS's test is at 8am, we are SOL.

I call to SS to come out so I can tell him the news (I am in the middle of changing DD's diaper).  He mumbles a response.  I call again, no response.

I finish with DD and go into his room, only to find him on the computer.  I ask him why he didn't come when I called him and I get "I told you I was busy".

I replied, "Since you are too busy to come when I call for you, I am too busy to help you.  I am washing my hands and you are on your own."

He replies, "Are you saying I am ungrateful?"

I say "Yep". and I walk out.  

He actually gets on the phone and calls his father to whine that I hurt his feeligns AND to tell DH to tell ME to take it back.

I tell DH that not only am I not going to smooth over the hurt feelings, that I am DONE with his kid for the next two week and that SS needs to learn that when he is mean/rude/disrespectful to people, HIS actions and words turn people against him.  That I am not going to punish the boy, but I am not going to go out of my way to do anything special for him, since he cannot even be civil to me.

DH actually says to me "Don't stoop to his level."

My response to DH, "If SS doesn't learn this lesson from us NOW, life is going to be pretty hard when continues to piss people off in the real world"."

So between last night's last minute laundry debacle and today's dismissive tude, I AM DONE.  

Let DH really pick up the slack and see what I do for the boy that keeps him happy.  

Ilumine

I am just waiting to see what his "THIRD" issue is.

xmaryrickx

Ohhhhh, the don't stoop to his level comment deserves a throat punch. I have heard that one before, in a very similar situation. It made my blood boil.

MrsBPO

Donkey slap.  Donkey slap.

I have GOT to get my son to re-tell me what it means.  It's something like a throat punch but funner to say.

Mrs.Astros_Fan

How did the top of your head not blow completely off when he said, "Don't stoop to his level"?  I think your DH needs to be drop-kicked.

Sorry you're having a tought week!

MattsWifey<3

I am sorry you're feeling frustrated but you can not be done. He is a child. I am willing to bet any amount of money that you would never say you were done with your baby...

Please talk to your DH so you guys can work this out. 

It sounds like your SS is going through an adolesent thing (not that I know how old he is.)

Twistedpixie7@aol.com

I felt like I was reading my life story just now! Read a few posts up and you would understand. ?I will come slap your DH for you and you can slap my bf for me! ?He has said something similar to me, and I told him I was done! He could deal with his son, I was doing it anymore. ?5 minutes later his son was crying and apologizing for the way he acted.

His son had to balls to tell me to stop acting like him mom, when all he's ever wanted from me was for me to be his mom since his has never been around. I told him fine you dont want a mom, I wont be one. ?You can come see your little sister on my terms and other then that dont ask for anything from me...needless to say things have changed once they both realized I wasnt putting up with the BS anymore.

Stand your ground and things with hopefully look up for you.?

Ilumine

MattsWifey<3:

I am sorry you're feeling frustrated but you can not be done. He is a child. I am willing to bet any amount of money that you would never say you were done with your baby...

Please talk to your DH so you guys can work this out. 

It sounds like your SS is going through an adolesent thing (not that I know how old he is.)

SS is 13 not an adolescent.

And yes, if my DD (at the age of 13) were to act this way, I will stop going out of my way to do those little special things for her too.

Babies, toddlers, children and teens learn from their parents.  If their parents cater to their every whim without expecting common respect then they (the child) will learn that they can get whatever they want without consequence.

This is not a snark, but read some of the older posts to get a better understanding of our family dynamics.  In almost every case, we StepMoms are more moms than step and DO NOT TREAT OUR BONUS CHILDREN DIFFERENTLY THAN OUR "REAL" CHILDREN.

 

FloF9

Ugh. Ditto to the Donkey slap.   yea your DH's comment sounds like something my DH would have said.  Honestly I would have yanked the computer cable if I found him on it, after his little snitty remark.  As for him calling your DH to whine - that's playing sides which would have been yet another consequence.  You're too nice Illumine. 

MichelleWP

I'm confused - 13 is not an adolescent?!?!

J+R

13 is old enough to know what the hell they are doing!