Outing w/grandparents only?

alisonada

First - sorry for the lack of paragraphs, my blackberry won't let me add them. I'm curious to hear if you think I'm being unreasonable. First let me say that our parents live in different states so they don't see the girls a ton. The grandparents are all nice and loving grandparents but the girls aren't really used to them, and vice versa. We do let them babysit at our house when they visit, so we can have datenights and things, and it goes fine. So MIL just emailed me and said that she wants to come down and take the girls to the zoo with her sister and her sisters two granddaughters (who are both right around one - they all live around here so her sis sees and babysits them all the time). Now, my MIL is a responsible adult and I don't think she'd do anything negligent, but I'm still pretty uncomfortable with the idea of this. It's a HANDFUL to take a 2 year old and 7 month old on an outing like that (a lot different than a few hours of babysitting at home), especially alone (and to somewhere hot, crowded, and overwhelming like the zoo) - this is true for me and I'm they're mom and do it all the time. I just think it would be too much for my MIL. Its not like her sister would be much help having two toddlers of her own to watch. Piper's in prime tantrum stage, Kady would not nap in her stroller and would get very cranky - I just really don't see it going well. BUT - I know my MIL will be majorly offended if I say no - and that kids do things like this with their grandparents all the time. I can tell she really wants this to be THEIR outing and for me to not come. DH, who is usually on my side when it comes to his mom, says he thinks it would be fine. What do you think?

LoriZ

I don't know what I would do in that situation.  We have no problem with Allison going anywhere with my parents, but the same would not be true with my ILs.  I can't imagine many people being able to effectively care for two small children they barely know at the zoo.  Would Piper be comfortable going by herself?  Maybe you could say the zoo just won't work for Kady's sleep and food schedule.  Any reasonable person would be happy to take Piper and understand that Kady is just a little young for such a big outing.

jgeiman

I have to agree with LoriZ. I think that's a great idea.

You don't have to tell her this, but if things go well with her just having Piper, then you might be a little more comfortable in a few months for her to have an outing with Piper & Kady.
Having just Piper I think is probably the best idea all around. I understand that she probably wants to have both her grandbabies there, but like you mentioned, it's prob ably going to be a bit overwhelming to have both of them there, especially if she's not terribly used to watching them both together.

GL!

mommy2babyj

I completely agree with the previous posters and that was going to be my suggestion, as well.  My parents live super close to us and we see them a lot and they have not taken both of the kids on any outings yet.   However, they've had several outings with just Jack and that's worked out perfectly.   My mom loves that one on one time with him and vice versa. 

I imagine that your MIL may end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted taking both of them to the zoo, even though the idea may seem so ideal to her right now.   Would she be offended if you suggested that she have a special date with just Piper and then another special date with Katy, at a different time?  Sort of talk up these special one on one times?    

I'm just remembering our most recent trip to the zoo, last week... it was super hot, we got a little turned around by the new entrance situation,  Alli was getting cranky, Jack was worn out, and I was feeling pretty stressed by the end of the day, and, like you said, I am their mom and do these kind of trips all the time.    

I feel for your dilemma, though, b/c you MIL may not realize how taxing that trip can be and you don't want to hurt her feelings by not allowing it, but you also don't want the experience to be miserable for anyone, either.  

I really think that just she and Piper would have a blast together!

alisonada

Thanks everyone, that's a great idea! I don't know why I didn't think of that but I think that her taking Piper could be a solution that (hopefully) everyone will be OK with.

alisonada

And I do think I'll propose an alternate, shorter outing for her and Kady - thanks for the idea!

mommy2babyj

Hope it all works out, Alison!

sprads

Also, your MIL may not know how hilly the zoo is. It is not like most zoos where everything is flat. Going to the zoo is a workout.

teacherjess

I'm in a similar situation in that our parents are both from out-of-town and don't see Leah on a regular basis. If it were me, I would also be uncomfortable, just because every time our parents are in town, they have to kind of re-get-to-know her, if that makes sense, as far as her schedule, napping, eating, etc. It is a lot to take in without me there, so I suspect it's similar for you. So, that being said, I don't think it's a great idea because I'm not sure your MIL knows what she is getting herself into as far as the whole trip.

What I would say is that she could probably handle Piper on her own? Piper is older and you wouldn't have to worry about the same things you'd worry about with Kady. Piper would probably be more easily entertained, too. You could use nursing as an excuse and say you'd like to have Kady at home with you in case you need to nurse, maybe? Or something like that?

But overall, if you're not comfortable with it, either agree and then talk about how much you'd like to go along, or have DH tell MIL it's just not a good idea to bring the two girls somewhere that has the potential to be hot, crowded, and unfamiliar all at the same time.

teacherjess

Oops, posted after you made your decision, but I think it's a good one .

MrsMoher

For one day, I would definitely let them go.  I mean she raised your DH right?  My MIL has major back issues and everything else, but for a day, I always let her take E and would do the same if we had a 2nd little one.  However if it were a whole week or something like that, I would not allow her to have him at his current age, because I think he is too young and like you said very tantrum prone.