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Adoption
Having a bad day girls
I need someone to vent to who understands and you are the lucky winners!
I know we've all been there, but today just sucks. I've been so peaceful with the wait lately, but today has just been bad. Since about 8 p.m. last night I have just felt so low and hopeless...like we're never going to get our baby. It was so bad that on my way home today I stopped at the RE's office and made an appointment. UGH. (We decided we weren't going to pursue anymore treatments after our last cycle was cancelled in February.)
Anyone else with me? Or have suggestions on pulling myself out of this funk before it gets any worse? I hate it.
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Re: Having a bad day girls
I'm sorry girls
The only advice I have is what works for me which goes something like this:
1) cry and or vent
2) sulk for a while (this doesn't actually help, mind you, it's just what I happen to always find myself doing)
3) make really unwise food choices (see item #2)
4) shake myself and start actively chosing to take care of myself through either some sort of pampering or most often a new excercise regime so that I can be a healthy me in order to one day be a healthy mommy.
as I said, it's not really advice, just my pattern and right now i'm on step 4 of this pattern because I was just in that place too ((hug)))
Aw Sarah,
I am right there with you. I don't think we will ever get back on the adoption track. Email me if you need someone to talk to.
Kristie5685@sbcglobal.net
Hugs
Awee! I'm so sorry you're in a funk. I was in a funk last week...no fun! How are you taking care of yourself?
Tarah -- YGM!
Ranita -- I'm going to try #3 tonight!! Your list made me laugh, because it truly is the cycle I go through each time as well. I tend to stretch #3 out as long as possible though. Sometimes one needs excessive amounts of cheese and high fructose corn syrup to make it through the days/weeks/months.
Kristie -- you're such a doll. I'm emailing you now! I'm praying job prayers for you guys.
Hi! I am so sorry you are feeling this way...I have just turned a corner on this feeling a few days ago. We have been at this for 6 long years with IF treatments and adoption and we are not any closer than we were when we started. ((HUGS)) to you. BTW: I like Ranita's suggestions!!!
I have gotten involved with a new church ( and I am not really all that religious...) but we felt that we needed some spiritual guidance on this journey, and it has truly been a blessing for us. I even managed to get through Mother's Day way better than in the past. I am finding that surrounding myself with people who are nice and positive has made a difference for me. Many of my so called friends dropped me while I was going thru IF treatment s and I found out that sadly, I don't have a lot of quality people in my inner circle ..my own Mom is not even very supportive of us. So, going to church, meeting new people and having new experiences has helped...a lot. We volunteered to help out at our local animal shelter this weekend and all went back to church for a service and dinner...and it was so far out of my comfort zone....but we had SO much fun and can't wait to do more. Sometimes getting out of your own pain and sadness by helping someone else can give you a new perspective, at least for a little while.
We don't talk about our adoption plans with our co-workers for privacy concerns ( cause mean people SUCK!) so I find that being able to talk about it with people from church has been comforting, as well!
I hope you feel better soon!!!!
Lil - I went to the beach with a girlfriend this weekend, but had to do some business travel this week. Hopefullly now that I'm home again, that will help.
Tiffany - we're trying to join a small group at church too. We've just been attending Sunday mornings only, and we were just talking about getting more involved. I'm glad its working out for you!
No comforting words . . . I know it can suck and every so often you just have to be p-o'd about it all. Just offering you a hug.
I don't know what to say, but I've been there and done that so many times over the last two years it's not funny. I wish there were some magic "assurance" button. The only thing I can say is to take it one day at a time and believe it will happen if you keep fighting for it.
(((Hugs)))
By the sounds of it, the down days seem to be the "ugly" side of adoption. We all go through it, at different times, and there's nothing anyone can really say in those moments to make it better. Just know that you are not alone, and that your feelings are completely understandable and normal.
I wish you solace and comfort. Know that we are always here to "listen" to you when you are down. I know for some it is easier to stay away in those times, but for me, it's often easier to look for a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to lean on here. Not many people "out there" really understand how emotionally cruel this process is, even if they stand by our side through every step of it.
I often think about how before I started our process, I used to roll my eyes when I heard someone mention how heart wrenching adoption could be. I figured they just weren't researchers, or detail-oriented, or used to following through on long projects/lots of paperwork. I thought that as long as we stayed on top of every detail, everything would work out just fine, and we would sail through. Boy was I ignorant!
I now understand all the emotions that come with awaiting your child, and how utterly crushing it can be. I don't have any words of wisdom as to how to get through it, other than to encourage you to just keep chugging along, because that's the only way to get to the other side. If we just get through one day at a time, eventually enough days will pass, and our little ones will be in our arms. I believe that not only because it?s true, but because I have to. It?s what gives meaning to each day I persevere.
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this trying time. Don't ever lose hope.