our first meeting....

itsmyangel

the first meeting with our caseworker will be next wednesday night!  Part of me was so excited...we are hoping to foster/adopt an infant, I realize we might go through a few children in our home before having a 'forever' child...but that is our eventual hope.  She told me that we will not get an infant adn that they don't do infant adoptions....however on our states childrens services i see many infants with identified families...so there are infants out there in the system?

itsmyangel

is shes just trying to discourage us becuase they need more people to help foster the older children?

kirstenw05

Its more that there are just less infants that other ages. They are out there, and it does happen, absolutely. You are RIGHT, your perfect, forever situation will come!

Congrats on your next step!!!

itsmyangel

Thank you.....I just feel so discouraged by people saying you WONT get an infant ......i'm like...how do you know? i know that there ARE infants placed and not ALL OF them go back.....its just so frustrating that they try to push you to go toher ages....we did open up for 0-5 but would really HOPE to eventually have infant

come*on*baby

Actually - they're are more infants and toddlers coming into care than ever before right now. They always say infants are to come by, but I don't believe that's true. Just in our agency there was a "boom" of infants for 6-8 months.

mom2one

Several people in my FP support group are fostering-to-adopt (potentially) infants. It definitely happens. Once we have finalized adoption on our 9 year old we will be going back to fostering and see where it takes us.

lilmufish

The first phone conversation I had with the county for doing foster to adopt told me the exact same thing.  She also told me that there were no young children going into our state's children's services and if I was going to do foster to adopt I had to be ready to accept older children. That scared the jebbers out of me. I'm in my upper 20s, there's no way I could be ready to handle an older child at this point, especially an older child that has been neglected and/or abused.  So, I started talking to foster parents in the area and started doing some internet research.  She was half right.  

One thing I learned that our state contracts out the foster care cases. Some go to the county, some go to different agencies.  Some agencies get more older kids, some get more younger kids. So with that said, HER agency could have more older kids than younger kids?   Also, what I learned, and I'm not sure if this is a state law or just a preference, but typically newborns are given to a family that has one stay at home parent -- since you can't put a new born into daycare until they're six weeks old (or something like that?) so that the parent can stay home with the infant, that's what one person told me the reason why she got turned down at one point. (I don't know how true that is)  Also, from talking to other foster parents, in our area (i can only speak for here!) there ARE infants and toddlers that come into care, but typically they are placed in kinship care (a family member or a family friend)  and typically these children are then returned back to the birth parents.  I spoke to a woman from church, she said she did emergency foster care for infant to five yrs old for several years and had plenty of children go in and out of her home...all returned home, except for a sibling group of two, which she adopted herself.

With the agency that we're NOW working with, they were honest up front when they learned we wanted to do infant to 7 yrs old, and said that typically there will not be alot of younger children that will be eventually available to adopt and if so, they'll be a a part of a sibling group. They, on the other hand, were not like the county childrens' division woman who told us we needed to accept older children. Instead, said, that our willingness to accept a sibling group will increase our chances of providing a "forever home" to children faster than if we just accepted an infant and that's it.  

 I hope this helps.

Megs&Nick

I usually just lurk to get information for future adoption plans so I hope it's okay that I respond.  I live in the same state as you do and have two family members who have adopted infants through foster to adopt.

My SIL adopted (as a single mother) newborn caucasian triplet boys through the foster care system.  We picked them up from the hospital when they were ready to be released at 2 weeks old and she's had them ever since.  It was a rare and unique case in which she knew from the get-go that parental rights were definitely going to be terminated so her finalization was fairly quick (8 months).

Our cousin received a call about a newborn bi-racial baby girl who had tested positive for drugs.  They indicated it would be a fairly cut and dry case as well, but that was not how it ended up.  She went through months of missed visits with the bio parents, talks of reunification, relapses etc which was hard for her.  A month ago, she received the news that rights were being terminated and she could finalize.  That finalization took place last month and we couldn't be happier.  Baby is 18 months old at finalization.

My point is that there are infant children available, but not nearly as many as there are older children and they can be drug exposed.  If an infant is placed with you, realize that it could be a long road to finalization, but it is possible.

I hope I've helped you at least a little bit and I hope you find the option that's right for your family! 

sunnybrook.

Ditto PPs. I don't have much to add to the above responses. My DH and I are foster parents for 0-3 yo. We have had 4 placements (5 children) come into our home since we got our license July 2008. Our current FS came to us at 14 months and is almost 2 and will not be going home anytime soon. I have met MANY foster parents in my county who have adopted children they brought home from the hospital.

I initially thought I wanted an infant, but then we took in a 4 year old. I fell in love with her and would adopt her in a heartbeat. I realized that I love the ages 2-5 and not be disappointed if we never adopt an infant. It was a great realization for me.
 

itsmyangel

Thank you all..you've all been a great help to my sanity today....her talk had me very discouraged as I know that I've seen on the adoptohio website infants that have been adopted out or are available for adoption (but i don't have my homestudy yet).  I guess all is not lost after all   Thanks again for your words of encouragement!

LadyRed7

i just want to say good luck with the next steps! It is exciting. Try and not be discouraged, your perfect LO is out there!

Also, like pp said, you can foster adopt an infant, the cases exist! Good luck.