- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Adoption
Spoke to Lil J's Law Guardian
Backstory - the other day, I found out that J's mother wanted the case moved to NY as that is where she is living now. She is about 4 hours away from me and she claims that it is not fair for her to spend so much money to show up to visits - however, she has not seen him since he was removed (feb 2009). I was nervous because I did not want him to leave only to go to yet another foster home - plus (selfishly of me), I want him to stay here.
Here is the update - this is just a C&P from my blog.
I spoke to J's Law Guardian today and was talking to him about my concerns with mom's request to have his case moved.
I told him that basically mom is now living with her boyfriend which was one of her "in between" addresses. Told about the missed visit, etc.
He basically told me that "let her file the motion - good luck with that one" It really made me feel a bit better. He said that parents, especially ones with attorneys, will make the most ridiculous requests of the court. You would think they are rock-stars with the outrageous requests. He told me some of the weird stuff that he has seen - things like only using a certain barber for the child, not to wear clothes purchased at certain stores, strange visitation requests, etc.
So, even though I thought her request may be a valid request, he really does not think so. Of course, a judge would have final say in that. But, like he said - she chose to move that far away, not because she was starting her life over, not because that is where her job or family are - but that is where her boyfriend lives.
He even said that if a judge DOES think that it has some merit, she would have to prove to a court that this will be her PERMANENT residence, this could take months. She would have to be 100% working her plan as well. We know how that has gone so far.
Having the case transferred to the other state could take months - if they even accept the case. Then he reminded me that with all these months passing - the mom may fall back on her old habits and the case take a turn in one direction or another.
So, for now, I will continue to love him with everything that I have, and we will cross that bridge when and if we get to it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Spoke to Lil J's Law Guardian
I'm hoping and praying it all works out for you!
Excellent update. FWIW, I would think they would offer train or bus passes to the mother first - that's what our judge did for BM - she had a 100% free and clear bus pass that she could use whenever, wherever she wanted and only used it ONCE, one way. Sad.
Your BM sounds much similar to mine...she will *most likely* slowly trail off at the rate she's going. GL and give Lil J a big kiss and hug for us!
Yeah, kinda sound similar - plus she has history with other children, and some issues don't go away in 28 days (if you get my drift)
My Blog
I'm glad to hear that you might not have anything to worry about. It sounds like his biological mother is still putting her wants and needs first; that doesn't bode well as an indication of how well she will work her plan or care for Lil J.