I feel like a fish out of water

belle204

This will have to be abridged b/c I'm tired. I'm still at my sister's and I want to go home but I don't. I've been getting along ok with my mom when I've seen her to drop A off or pick her up while I go on interviews. But I have noticed some of the things she says and does still get under my skin and I worry I won't be able to cope if I go back. But, I'm starting to feel like I'm wearing out my welcome with my sister. She says I can stay as long as I need to but I kind of feel like she misses her quiet. Most of the time she has the patience of a saint with A but it upsets me when she does get short with her. I don't know why. I think it makes me feel like I'm not doing my job and maybe my child really is poorly behaved.

It seems pointless to look at places b/c I haven't started working and won't for two more weeks. I can't get anything yet w/out verifiable income & I'm sure I would need to be at that employer for a certain length of time. I'm trying so hard to stay positive and remember that things are coming together somewhat. I just hate feeling like I don't have a "home."

Ok, sob story over.

edit: I'm sure AF being here is not helping my moodiness.

marigolds

I know how you feel.  The most important piece of the puzzle is in place, the rest will come together in time.  Sit down with a piece of paper and figure out exactly how much money you need to move out, first month, last month, deposit, activation fee for utilities, homegoods...  EVERYTHING.  Then estimate your take home pay.  Determine how long you will need to save until you are ready to move out.  Then look at a calendar and give yourself a date.  It is SO much more bearable to live in hell when you know there is an end date. 

Congratulations on the job!  You're going to be just fine.  I promise. 

 

A-baybride

I understand... it's hard not having your own space.  You never feel like you can relax.  But if your sister isn't used to living with kids, that's a huge adjustment for her - don't interpret her reactions as meaning A is poorly behaved.  The best suggestion I can offer is to try to stagger your schedules to the extent possible - be home when she's out/at work and find something to do when she's home so she gets a few hours of quiet time.

As far as finding a place, obviously don't overextend yourself in your haste to get out of your sister's hair, but if you can afford it, it wouldn't hurt to start looking.  Before I started my current job, I was condo hunting (and I was just finishing grad school, so I hadn't been employed for 2 years) and got pre-approval on a mortgage just based on my offer letter.  When I actually did find a place and go through the approval process I had only been working 2-3 weeks and it was no problem.  So don't assume you need to be there a certain length of time.  I'm sure they'd prefer that in a perfect world, but these days landlords are happy with anyone willing to pay the rent!

The end is in sight - hang in there!  Oh yeah, I wasn't on last night, so a big fat congrats on the new job!