Jealous Dads?

tiffyr0se

So this week DH has been making comments about how Cole smiles more for me, loves mommy more, about how I get to stay home with Cole while he goes to work, etc.  Last night he threw a fit about how he always gets Cole when he's cranky (?) and about how Cole doesn't cry for me.  Cole does cry for me, but that's beside the point.  And Cole doesn't cry that much for anybody, and I don't think he really cries more for DH, though it may take DH a bit longer to figure out why Cole is upset.

So, any suggestions on how to handle this?  I tend to pass Cole off when DH gets home, so he usually gets at least 1-2 hours a night w/o me.  Should I leave for a weekend and let them bond?  I take Cole to a tummy time class, and want to enroll him in another class.  I am thinking about asking DH if he can take Cole to the class (its near lunchtime)

He's jealous about how Cole loves me, not how I love Cole, so I don't think couple time is the answer (though I still like couple time).  And we just had a family vacation, so DH had a whole week with Cole. 

Thoughts, advice?

klink11

Right now baby Cole is young and needs his Mommy. I think as he gets older he will "turn" on Mommy and tend to want his Daddy more, his day will come.

I am in the same boat, I know there will be a day when Marissa watches Daddy drive off to work with me me standing there and cries out "I WANT MY DADDY!"

* Funny story. My sister has 2 kids, a 3 year old girl and 1 year old boy. The older one is an "over the top "Daddy's girl". One evening he was in his rocker reading a book to his son when the little girl walked up. She took one look at Dad and said "Give him to her." HER meaning my sister

So "in my opinion" I think it's just an age thing. His day will come!

Oh and by the way your son is adorable!!!

Meg41208

We have gone through the same thing to a lesser extent- DH thought that DD likes me better because she only cried when he got home.  I tried to explain that it was just the time of day and 2 minutes before he walked in the door she was doing the same thing for me, but I had just gotten her calmed down. She has her evening fussy time and it doesn't matter who has her, she's just crabby.  When I went back to work on Monday, he stayed home with her and she was all smiles all day until I got home, then he got to see that she cries for me too. 

I make sure that DH gets involved in DD's nighttime routine- for example, I will feed her (BFing) but then he will be the one to rock her and get her to sleep.  Frankly, he's much better at that than I am because I feel like I have run out of patience at that point!

becca070707Ken

Oh will his time come. Kellen is such a daddy's boy. And when DH gets home Ayden just lights up and follows him around. To cute!! Like pp, he is young and needs his mommy, but your DH may be only looking at the knit picking things and only sees the crying and him "liking/smiling" at you more. He spends more time with you so that is usual, but his time will come. He will be handing him off to you for a break. 

sprads

I have no advice - DD is still a total Mommy's girl even though she always talks about daddy when he isn't there and will go and find him in the house.

I assume one day it will get better.

adamsbabble

I don't think this sounds like an issue of Cole not loving his daddy, in fact I'm sure that's not the case.  I think it's more your DH's issue.  He probably just doesn't feel as involved as he wants to be, so I think a class that your DH can take Cole too on his own or at least be involved in with both of you is a great idea.  It will be a start in helping your DH feel like he's more a part of the bond that you and Cole share.

Aside from that, people cry/get upset/act out more with the people they are most comfortable with and have a relationship of trust with.  So tell your DH to take it as a compliment!    Think about it... when you're upset, do you just break down in front of any ole person, or is it usually with someone like your DH or a parent?

Moesten

I think lots of dads go through this. ?My DH travels so much for work that there are weeks he sees her maybe two days. ?A few weeks ago he was looking at pictures with her and pointed to a picture of me and said, "Who is that? Mommy" Then pointed to a picture of himself and said, "Who is that? Mommy's friend" So that's our new name for him. ?

I put him in charge of bath time so that is his job. ?And when he is home, I try to maximize their time together. ?If he is home, I expect him to feed her (solids, obviously I still get the nursing part). ?And I like to get out at least once a week and leave the two of them together for several hours. And then I try to put him in charge of things even in very simple ways such as when we go shopping, I will have him get her in and out of the car while I bring in packages. ?It's small but at least it's something. ?I have no doubt though that she will be a terrible daddy's girl as he dotes on her to the extreme.

Hugs to your DH though. ?I imagine it's sad for him. ?I think us mommies are spoiled with the love and attention from the little ones and our poor DHs feel a little left out.?