Just a little frustrated...

pepomntpat

Now I know why people never tell anyone their plans for family building. Unfortunately I like to tell everyone everything when I am excited.  Maybe one day I will learn.

My inlaws and my mother and sister were over for Mother's Day yesterday.  They all know about my adoption. My mom is great.  My sister doesn't really care. The overall support I get from my family is probably part of why I didn't think it would be a bad idea to fill the inlaws in.

My inlaws think it is an idea spawned from Satan.MIL and FIL are warming up to the idea.  My MIL worked in a group home for troubled youth, so I can understand her concern over our foster to adopt decision.  My Grandmother In Law is just awful.  I want to tell her to just shut up.

I did not bring up the topic yesterday.  She asked me why in the world I would want to adopt an older child.  I might have trouble with IT as a teenager.  What if IT has mental problems?  What if IT kills you in your sleep?  What if, what if, what if?  UGH.  I just kept saying the decision has been made and it is between  me and my  husband. 

DH was out with his dad looking at power tools while the ladies went out for tea.  How's that for cliche?    So, he wasn't around to deal with his family.  Overall the day was nice, but I just wish she'd quit with her doom and gloom!

Hope you all had a great Mother's Day!

Honeydew1894

I am so sorry that they did that to you. I totally understand your frustration. I would say focus on the positive, and ignore their ignorant comments.

silliestbunny

I shouldn't laugh at your troubles...but I nearly spit out my coffee over the "what if it tries to kill you when you sleep"!  WHA????!!!!!!

In all seriousness....sorry.  That's gotta be draining dealing w/a woman like your GMA-IL

DAT1205

OMG I am so sorry that you have to go through this......we are going through a similiar situation with my DH family........and my DH and have decided that anyone with a negitive attitude has no place in our lives......LISTEN we only get one shot a this "life" thing and I will be damned if I spend any time with negative people!!!!  Family or not!!!  Grandma needs to be put in her place by someone (other than you) perhaps your DH or even one of your inlaws!!!    

Dr.Loretta

Ugh. I get the feeling that sort of reaction is the reason DH decided not to tell his grandmother our plans when we visited this weekend. I don't think he's ready for ridiculous reactions from his side of the family.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. it doesn't even sound like it lent itself to be a teachable moment.

lilmufish

I can imagine that you're frustrated!  I'm sorry that your family is not as supportive as you might have wanted.  We *thought* we had a supportive family until this weekend.... So I can sympathize with how you're feeling.   I hope things get better for you...and maybe once you guys have educated them a little about foster care to adopt, they might lighten up a little...maybe

 

pepomntpat

The thing is they aren't interested in being educated.  DH's parents are okay.  They are concerned, but willing to listen. His grandparents are not. They are the kind of people who cannot fathom that another decision or way of life or way of thinking exists outside of their own.  It's weird.  I've never met such close minded people.  I am sure once we actually have a real person for them to meet and talk to, they will be fine.  They just don't get foreign concepts.

squeakerabudhbabi

All I ever hear from people (not my family or friends, though, they're amazing!!!) is "Why would you want to adopt?  Don't you want to have a real child?"

WTF?  So, that child that will be walking and talking and learning and creating won't be real?  What will it be, a figment of my imagination?!

People are sooo ignorant and rude sometimes!