Going to see a therapist...

MrsMandaK

for Lily.

I know I haven't discussed it a whole lot on here, but we've been having a lot of trouble with Lily since Charlotte arrived.  She's always been a bit difficult/strong-willed but it just totally escalated with the new baby.  She's completely obstinate most of the time - doesn't want to listen to anything I say and throws tantrums at the drop of a hat if she doesn't get her way.   Really, I guess just typical 3 year old behvior but to the extreme.  I'm just at my wits end with her and I know that the postpartum hormones aren't helping at all.

I finally broke down after another bad day and called a therapist to get some help with her.  On the one hand I'm sad because I feel like I'm not a good enough parent to be able to handle her on my own, but on the other hand I'm relieved to be getting an unbiased opinion on her behavior.  I'm just hoping to get a different perspective and maybe some effective techniques for changing her behavior.

Sorry this is so long!  Just needed to get it off my chest.

cat81305

I am sooo sorry this is happening but I am sure seeing a therapist will help in this situation.  You are not the only one out there who has a child that is like this when another baby is brought into the home.  I wish you luck and will pray for you all!  Also, you are NOT a bad mother!  Bad mothers would ignore it and let it get even worse.  I think you are doing the right thing!!

JLPT830

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  I'm sure it will help to get some advice and different techniques to try.  You are by no means a bad mom.  I think you are very brave for talking about it openly and for seeking help.  I'll keep you guys in my prayers. 

sprads

I agree - you are a good mother because you are using the resources available to you to make your family as happy and healthy as possible.

If it makes you feel any better, we go to a therpist for my oldest. It helps. It also helps to have what you observe and your thoughts and feelings validated by an unbiased third party on top of getting additional information to help.

The more I talk about it, the more I find how common it is...it is just not something that most people talk about.

planetzero

You are a good mother - having the courage to say you don't have all the answers and taking action is so important.  I hope your experience with the therapist goes well.

KristenBtobe

Aaw, Amanda. You are a good mom for being willing to do what it takes to make things better at home!

alisonada

Ditto everyone else - you're doing what's best for your family. Good luck to you!

PreemiesRuleBulliesDrool

I'm sorry you are going through this.  I think it is wonderful to see a therapist to get some different ideals and/or techniques.  You need a professional unbiased opinion.  You can't read all the books out there and I think a professional will be able to get to the point versus months of reading, researching and trying different things. 

Good luck and be sure to share your secrets and anything interstring you learn!

Lyons_in_2007

I'm sorry that you have to go through this, especially right now (like you said, I'm sure that the hormones aren't helping with the situation); but DO KNOW that you are absolutely doing the right thing by utilizing your resources and seeking out answers and, hopefully, solutions.  It is by NO MEANS your fault, nor does it mean that you aren't parenting Lily well enough.  She is LUCKY to have you as a mother - someone who cares enough to help her cope with a difficult time and find better ways to communicate her feelings.  I'm sure that this is more common than you think.  Good luck with everything, and give yourself a pat on the back for being proactive and taking action before things escalate! 

jgeiman

I'm so sorry you're going thru this difficult time, but kudos! to you for taking action and asking for help when you think you need it.

Instead of not being a "good enough parent", I think that makes you an even better parent. We can't do it all!

GL!

Meg41208

I'd say you are a good mother for realizing that you need help and not letting her negative behaviors continue.

punkrawkmom44

I am sorry you are having to go through this hun, I really hope that things get easier. You are def. not a bad mother, getting/asking for help is always tough.

Temp806465500003043

You are not a bad mom at all. ?Good for you for trying to do something about this. ?I have a friend how went through a similar issue with her son. ?They went to see a therapist and talked extensively with her ped and he is so much better now. ?He didn't even need any of the medicine they originally recommended. ?Good luck!

sistrkate

I'm so sorry, Amanda.  I can imagine how low this must make you feel.  But I agree with everyone else......you are doing the right thing, and definitely should be commended for having the courage to a) pick up the phone to call someone, and b) to talk about it openly.  I will be thinking about all of you guys.  Please let us know how it goes.

adamsbabble

You're NOT a bad parent for not being able to handle her on your own--you're a great parent for asking for help.  Think nothing else! 

cops_wife

Lots of the best parents I know have been through issues with their kids that necessitated some outside help. I hope it helps!

andailey

Sorry to hear you are going through this... you are a great mom, and asking for a professional's insight for new techniques to help Lily only shows this! Good luck.

MrsMandaK

Thank you girls for all your kinds words - it means a lot. (I'm seriously crying right now!)

I didn't realize how much it was really affecting me and it feels really good to get some reassurance from you all.  I'll be sure to keep you all updated.

doodlebug914

I'm sorry to hear that you have been having a rough time, and I hope this will help Lily!  I am sure it is hard dealing with a new little one in the house for her.  You are a great mom for trying to do what is best for your girls!  I'll be thinking and praying for you!!

MelissaMc22

I am late posting... I wanted to echo everyone else, you should take comfort knowing you are doing the very best for Lily and your family. I know things will look up for you guys really soon.

Also, you can always call me if you need a break, I'm here!!