Article for discussion....

katerena

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090504.wfacts04/BNStory/lifeMain/home

 

Thoughts??  (obviously many of the commenters are morons) but I would be interested in hearing your reaction to this article...

Dr.Loretta

I thought it was a really interesting article, from a perspective that we don't see very often, if at all.

EmmieB

Dr.Loretta:

I thought it was a really interesting article, from a perspective that we don't see very often, if at all.

This.

katerena

fredalina:

i actually agree with some of the posters, to some degree.  At least that the boyfriend wasn't discussed.  It was a short article, so i'm sure that's why, but i did wonder.

Yeah, I know he was left out until he was mentioned briefly at the end.  But my take on it is that he wanted to portray the father - daughter angle and only had so much space to do so.

I think this is well written and absolutely an interesting perspective but I can't help but wonder if he had his daughter's permission to publish this?  Also, 10 minutes in a car does not a life decision conversation make.

I am just glad that none of the posters were like "see, as soon as your friends were talking about adoption and just relaaaaaaaaaxed they got pregnant!"

Dr.Loretta

fredalina:

i actually agree with some of the posters, to some degree.  At least that the boyfriend wasn't discussed.  It was a short article, so i'm sure that's why, but i did wonder.

My perspective was that he had X number of words to write in his column, and wanted to focus on a particular aspect of the story, or else he would have elaborated on more of the situation. I think a lot of people commented on unknown parts of the story.

jacksjerseygirl

I appreciate the story from the father of a potential birth mother. I think his lack of discussion of the e-father is reflective of current day society. Birth fathers are rarely involved, rarely mentioned during the process and rarely the first thing that adoptive parents think about when they talk to their child about 'their' story. Book after adoption book talks about birth mothers, their feelings and emotions, their perspective, and how to talk about birth mothers and how to talk to birth mothers but fewer books give the same kind of attention to birth fathers.

Anyway - I give it a neutral review. I'm not sure I appreciated as much, as maybe others did, about wanting his daughter to 'see the beauty of it all' - by carrying the baby and then placing for adoption. Even though the teen seemed nonchalant about the process, by the 9th month and after delivery she would have also seen the enormous amount of pain and grief associated with the process of becoming a birth mother.

 

julandjo

Wow, some of those comments were truly disgusting. 

"the father's manner of resolving the situation is highly manipulative: his daughter is nicely coaxed in choosing from the basket of options made available to her BY HIM according to HIS rationale. I sense something far from wonderful and selfless in this story: patriarchal logic according to which the daughter reacts nicely coerced to believe she;s exercising her own will in order to justify a different logic, maybe one of rigid religiosity or one of irresponsible parenting justified as 'liberal' where everything is possible and commendable. Everything should not be possible at 19 unless the pregnancy is desired and bringing a child to full term does not immediately and irrevocably become someone else's responsibility."

I really don't know what to say about this viewpoint besides ICK.  I don't want to get into an abortion debate, but people like this - who think (and preach) that abortion is the better, more pro-woman option - make me sick to my stomach.  What the hell happened to a basic respect for life?