how do you calm down from a fight with DH?

texas77

i get so worked up sometimes.  when we argue his side of it never makes any sense to me.  he talks in circles to the point that i get confused, then i get off track from my point.  uggggh. 

i end up getting really pissed off and sometimes the only way i can make myself laugh is to picture kicking him in his jejunum.  does that make me a bad person??

aimeelynae

Last night must have been the night for a fight with DH! We got into it because I mentioned MAYBE having my sister in law clean out my car. My brother and his wife are having a struggling time right now and she said if we had anything she could do for us(clean the house, car, etc) to let her know. So I kindly replied "Oh maybe you can clean my car" and left it at that. So I was telling DH i had talked to her and he went into this 15 minutes argument about how I should clean my own car and we weren't paying someone to do things we are capable of doing. GRRRR! I swear sometimes he doesn't listen to what I'm saying sometimes. I wasn't even 100% set on having her do it and I even explained to him that it was a nice gestuer/reply to her comment. Plus, if his family was in the same boat I know he'd give them money...probably with out even working for it. My SIL wanted to earn it and not just take any money.

I cried a lot because he hurt my feelings and then pulled out this stupid "You aren't acting like my friend" card... Which I guess he wasn't, because he was talking to me like crap it seemed like. Now of course I may have over reacted a tad, lol, but seriously...he hurt my feelings.

This is going to be a looonng 8 months.

PurpleK26

DH and I don't fight much. Not big fights, at least, but we have our share of little spats. When we do have big ones, we hit our breaking point and then just sit in silence for a half hour or so, till we (DH) calm down and think things through. Then we are able to rationally talk it out.

Operanne

One of us usually leaves (driving nowhere in particular is a favorite escape for both of us), then comes back in 20 minutes to an hour and we talk it out.  We've found (after 13 years together, 9 married) that going to separate spaces before things get really ugly helps us find better resolutions.

jen-dale

When it gets really bad at our house, DH usually leaves to go on a drive. We don't fight often, but we really make up for it when we do. I usually end up trying to pick on him a bunch to get him to laugh. Or punch him (more playfully although sometimes I kinda mean it). That is how we make up. Usually if it got us that fired up we don't try to talk it out, unless there is not an agreement that was settled upon in the original argument.