Anyone else's husband calling them out on their funk?

mistral

So, I just talked to my husband, who's the most supportive and loving person I know.  We were talking about a few little fights we've gotten into recently.  I said that I'm not happy right now (we've had a ton of huge changes in the past few months - another m/c, moving to a new state, work took a drastic turn) and that he's completely overworked and stressed out.  As such, our fuses are really short and we're taking it out on each other and I'm not sure what to do about it.  He said, 'you need to be fun again."  Now, I know that sounds like a horrible response and my reply was "when I stop having m/c's I'll be fun again."  But I know the guy has a point.  It's so hard not to let this completely take over and let yourself get into a total funk.  I know I need to snap out of it and start doing things I enjoy again, but it's so hard to at this point.  I know this is somewhat related to the body issue board below, but I just needed to whine a little.

ibis

I would tell him "I'll be fun again soon, but I'm not ready yet." You can't rush it. You can fake it til you make it, but burying your feelings isn't so good either. 

TruGemini

My DH and I went through something very similar, life stressing us out and taking every little thing out on each other. He said something along the lines of wanting to get back to the way things are. I didn't rush my grieving process at all, but I did sit down and try to evaluate what was happening. Somewhere along the way, we stopped being friends. I know it sounds weird, how can you live in the same house, eat a meal with, sleep next to someone without having that sort of foundation. So we've been making an effort to put the friendship back into our marriage. Little things like talking about our day, going on "dates" to the movies/dinner/bowling have truly helped. I hope you and your DH can find a balance. GL!

 

 

 

 

 

tellmeimpg

One word of advice is: Don't go cry on your guy friend's shoulder. Some of your friends here are no longer friends with their husbands but are blaming the wrong reasons.

TruGemini

tellmeimpg:

One word of advice is: Don't go cry on your guy friend's shoulder. Some of your friends here are no longer friends with their husbands but are blaming the wrong reasons.

Seriously? I know where you're going with that...and unless you know me, know my DH, or are freaking stalking me, STFU. kthanksbye.

tellmeimpg

jsworsham

DH did this with me a few weeks ago.  Very lovingly told me, that I need to look to the future because we can't go back only forward.  And our hope can only be in the future. 

I hope you start to heal soon and find little joys in life that are find on occassion.

alwyzbsy

jsworsham:

DH did this with me a few weeks ago.  Very lovingly told me, that I need to look to the future because we can't go back only forward.  And our hope can only be in the future. 

I hope you start to heal soon and find little joys in life that are find on occassion.

She said it very well.  (((hugs)))