Re-introducing myself as a birthmother

hersheykiss · April 2009

I have posted a few times and have told my story once here, but I thought I would repost it for everyone.

I am a birthmother of 7 1/2 years. I was 23 when my daughter was born in Atlanta. She is biracial and I grew up in a very small southern town. My mother refused to talk to me when she found out I was pregnant. Not only was I unmarried at the time, I was also having a biracial child. I was told, "You cannot bring that child here EVER if you decide to have her." So the birthfather and I discussed our options and he supported me all along the way. I knew I could never have an abortion, I had had one at 19 and it nearly put me in complete depression. That was a choice I could not make, despite the fact that my mother was telling me that was what I should do.

I thought initially that I wanted to parent. I knew I could do it, I am very good with children. I had a good job and great support from other family and friends. In the end, I did decide to complete an adoption plan. I knew the father and I would not be together forever. I did not want him to feel like he had to "hang around" just because he had a child. I also did not want my child to ever feel like she was unloved.

I completed a semi-open adoption. I placed my daughter with a family that had adopted 2 years earlier and had a biological child several years before that. They were the perfect family. They were everything I wanted my daughter to have, if she could not have me. They travel all the time, she knows 4+ languages now, they are able to give her everything she needs. All contact is completed through the agency I used, and I still send pictures and updates about once a year. I do not know her last name or address, but I know the general area in GA where she lives.

I look forward to the day when we meet. I am very anxious to see the young lady she will become. Because of her, I turned my life into something good. I bought a house right after she was born. I went back to college and received a Bachelor's in Business. I met a wonderful man, moved to CA, married him, and as you can see we now have a beautiful daughter of our own. My husband knows about my first child, her pictures are all over our house...next to ones of our daughter now. He has always told me how supportive and proud he is of my decision years ago.

I apologize for this being so long. You deserve a cookie if you made it this far. Feel free to ask me any questions. There is nothing I will not answer.

Thank you for letting me tell my story (again).

CaptainSerious · April 2009

Can I have my cookie now? Wink

Thank you for being so open with your story. You must be a very strong woman, and I admire the choices you've made. I wish you and your family all the best.

crystalpopcorn · April 2009

I prefer chocolate chip!

Thank you for your story. I am glad that everything has worked out so well for you and your entire family. Your new daugher is beautiful.

Dragonfly_Bride · April 2009

Hi, R! I'm planning on bugging you & Mrs.BoomBoom a bit once we start moving forward with our adoption plans. Thanks for checking in again over here.?

hersheykiss · April 2009

CaptainSerious:

Can I have my cookie now?

Thank you for being so open with your story. You must be a very strong woman, and I admire the choices you've made. I wish you and your family all the best.

Here ya go.

Dr.Loretta · April 2009

Do I get a cookie?

Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you and your daughter have a lot to be proud of.

CaptainSerious · April 2009

Wow, thanks! Big Smile

Mrs.BoomBoom · April 2009

::Waves to Hershey:: I can't imagine how hard it would be if my mom had said that to me. She made it clear that she wouldn't help parent but she was my rock during the pg and after.

::waves to Dragonfly:: I'm here for you! Hope you can get your funding together soon.

Sunny1s · April 2009

Thanks for sharing your story!

Mrs.Johnson · April 2009

Thanks for sharing! It is good to see another point of view:)

jacksjerseygirl · April 2009

ooo cookie ....

Your post brought a tear to my eyes. Thank you for sharing. We would be very blessed to have a relationshp with a birth mom such as yourself.

Your daughter is absolutely beautiful!

karalee402 · April 2009

Oh my that cookie looks awesome:)
Thank you for being so willing to share your story with us! It is SO important to recognize all aspects of adoption and everyone impacted.

mrs.goget · April 2009

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm new to this board and this was my first time hearing the other side and it gave me an entire new perspective.

JewelzNBean · April 2009

Mrs.BoomBoom:

::Waves to Hershey:: I can't imagine how hard it would be if my mom had said that to me. She made it clear that she wouldn't help parent but she was my rock during the pg and after.

::waves to Dragonfly:: I'm here for you! Hope you can get your funding together soon.

I am with you, Mrs.BoomBoom - my mom was definitely my strongest supporter, closely followed by the birth father and the rest of my family. I am so blessed to have them!!

Hershey, glad to see you on here as well! I haven't re-introduced myself lately, but it's good to know that there are a good group of birth mothers with all different types of situations who can answer questions!