Is BM passive aggressive?
Phantomgirl
member
So Monday I posted my happy post giving props to BM. By Monday eve I wanted to beat her over the head with those very props. She basically agreed to us having SS Wed through Tues. In fact in her text she said no prob SS will look forward to that.
Thursday is SO god sons confirmation and we are all booked in to go go-kart racing and for dinner. FSIL paid for the kids, including SS, and SO prepaid $100 for him and I to race. We confirmed with FSIL and told SS all about it. SO had told BM about this last week.
Monday eve BM texts SO and says 'SS has a school play at 7pm Thurs eve see you there'. Mmm WTF?
I personally think that BM is passive aggressive. EVERYTIME SS has something BM 'forgets' to tell SO. His last play we found out the day before, sports day she text at 8am that day and it started at 10am, doctor appointments the day of, PTM 8pm the night before. She then expects SO to drop everything and attend. If he does not she replies with 'well if you can't be bothered'.
She is a very good mother to SS and adores him. She is accommodating to us most of the time and definitely wants SS to have a relationship with his father BUT I feel that she likes to be seen as the martyr. He couldn't be bothered to attend so she HAS to do everything alone. This is not true SO is happy to attend everything IF he is told about them in time. He cannot just take off work or cancel appointment at the drop of a hat. It can?t be about me either because while I do attend school plays I have never attempted to attend PTMs or Dr. appointment nor do I believe it is my place to do so.
Also it is not possible to get the school to email us. SS goes to a small Irish speaking school in the countryside that still relies on the old letter in the school bag method of notice thus we rely on BM.
SO text her to say we are not going to the play as we are already booked in for go-karting. He asked her why she didn?t mention it earlier. She didn?t reply. I know both of us will be up there on Thurs feeling so bad for not being at the play. We talked about it last night as we want to be sure we are not hurting SS just to punish BM BUT that fact is we have plans and we have paid a non refundable amount to reserve the track. We are going to talk to SS tonight and explain that we did not know about the play and, as he knows, we have plans.
So why do I feel like such a b!tch? Would you cancel the confirmation plans with your godson and take a hit on the money to attend? It is not a big performance; it is a class play for parents and teachers, he?s on for a total of 5 mins.
We do have him Fri to Tues and are taking him away for the few days. WDYT?
Re: Is BM passive aggressive?
Can't you go to the play and meet up for the confirmation later?
knmommy no this was my original idea, I emailed FSIL but the track is reserved from 6-8pm. The play starts at 7pm and finishes about 8pm.
When I said it wasn't a big deal I meant that he has been doing this play for ages now, basically they were compeating against other schools and SO and I have already attended it, they did not qualify and so this is one last performance for the parents/teachers.
Of course, I don't have kids of my own so I don't have the same "wouldn't miss it for the world" thought process that others with kids might. mckelvy this is my fear, that I will be OK with stuff like this for SS but then flip out if he suggested it when we have kids. I don't have kids and my dad didn't attend every little thing my bro or I did so I tend to think it's ok.
Well one of his parents will be there and honestly, that's all most kids care about. Plus, she seems needy and overly affectionate so I'm sure she'll heap on how awesome and amazing he is, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Then again, I'm one of those weird parents who doesn't go to every little thing nor do I feel bad about it.
ETA: Yes, she's passive aggressive.
I go to anything p&p come to us about, eyes shining with excitement and ask us to, especially if they talk about it every day, ask how many days until it gets here, remind us constantly. But if I read about it in their folder, mention it to them and get a whatever look, chances are pretty damn good I'm skipping it. Those things are usually so badly managed, oddly drawn out, and terrible that it makes no sense to go unless the kid wants me to.
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::: breaths and unzips flame retardant suit:::
I tend to agree Hind I had the best dad ever but he did not attend every little thing we did.
Actually SS hates this play, he will be so disappointed he is not coming with us Thurs. He refused to take a part that he had to speak and is actually the back of a horse, no kidding.
Even more reason not to go. What kid want his parents to watch him literally be an ass?
Could you pick him up afterwards and take him to get some ice cream? Or maybe call his teacher and find out if they can find another kid to wear the ass end of a horse?
Poor baby.
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