DH is PISSED at BM!!!!
taagent
member
And it is all gonna hit the fan tomorrow! I had mentioned before about us wanting to get rid of SD's current phone to get a prepaid. Well, tonight DH went onto our account to find out about SD's phone and whether we could get rid of it.
While looking for the info he went onto SD's portion of the phone bill. We get a paperless bill so unless there is a strange amount we usually don't look at the activity. Well, this months bill was kind of high and DH and I were talking about it this afternoon. DH hit the fan when he saw SD's portion of the phone bill and he is LIVID with BM.
We found out tonight that for the last few months the other kids in the house have been using SD's phone! Including what looks like an accidental INTERNATIONAL call which was $11.00 by itself! The kids have been calling BM, her bf, and a WHOLE BUNCH of other numbers repeatedly. We know it isn't SD because we looked at the dates and times of the phone calls and the most recent ones were made this past FRIDAY after school (at the time the multiple phone calls and download/texts were made SD and I were at the movies!) most of the others she would have been in her after school program or with us.
I am just so thoroughly disgusted with BM! It is one thing to call SD when we aren't being charged but it was shocking to see that SD isn't the one using the phone and we are being charged for each of these calls and downloads.
DH is going to call BM tomorrow to discuss this with her and he immediately changed SD's phone options (which we didn't realize we could do on this phone) so that she can only call our numbers and ALL other numbers that have been called in the last 5 months have been specifically blocked. In addition he changed the options so that she can not make calls after 9pm or before 6:30 am.
This is going to get ugly!
Re: DH is PISSED at BM!!!!
You know why bother? You guys knew she was not to be trusted when you sent the phone over there. Kids play with phones, and with little regard for the bill payer. I mean what is she gonna say only 'I didn't know they were using it'.
Change the options and move on, when the kids realise that it does not work anymore they will get bored and forget about it.
You gave an inch, you got burned, lesson learned!
She may say that she didn't know they were using it but they were calling HER much of the time! THese calls were lasting several minutes so DH is going to call her on it.
I can understand a young kid playing with the phone but we are talking about a 15 and 12 year old, who absolutely know better and have been told in the past that the phone isn't for their use by DH but apparently BM and her bf are okay with taking advantage and honestly I am glad DH is going to call her on it. I usually agree with you phantom but this is just too much.
taagent don't get me wrong I?d be pissed. I'm just wondering what your DH expects to get from her? Yea call her on it, tell her flat out it is not acceptable, but he may not get anything other than attitude. Is he looking for an apology or money?
He isn't expecting an apology or money to repay what has been charged up. He is going to call her out on it and let her know straight out that we KNOW the other kids have been using the phone to call her and her bf (among other people) and that it is a really crappy thing for her to do/allow, and tell her the options have been changed so that it wont be able to happen again.
Personally I think that BM needs to know we are keeping a closer eye on the situation and that it is completely unacceptable for them to be using SD's phone like it is theirs. DH is going to tell her too that since her number has been blocked from the phone that if she wants it unblocked she will have to help pay SD's portion of the bill otherwise too bad so sad!
ETA: the thing that gets me is that DH had a conversation about 2 years ago with BM because SD's half brother was downloading games and music to the phone. DH found out about it and told BM then that he didn't buy the phone for the other kids to use and it wasn't to be used for anything other than a phone.
I'm with phantom on this. She knows she's a mess and she doesn't give a damn. All she's going to do is cop an attitude. I'd take personal glee in the irritation she's going to have the first time she picks up that phone and tries to call someone she can't at a time you've limited.
That would be enough for me.
You don't argue with a heifer. They only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Click me, click me!
Sorry - hit the wrong button!!
Taagent - this happened to us. We bought SD a cell phone so that she could call us whenever she wanted, etc. Her mother (and mothers friends) ended up wracking up our bill two months in a row (about $600 each month) so we had to pay a cancellation fee...
What is up with my Bump today!
Anyways, we had to get the cancellation fee and just get rid of the phone... BM would not stop using it, etc. I would highlight all of the calls that we were made while your SD was with you guys and ask her to pay for it. I would also keep a copy so that if you guys went to court - you should show them that you bought a cell phone to keep in contact with your SD and BM sabatoged that...
Good luck!
Thanks ladies! I have gone through the bills for the last few months this morning and highlighted the date, time, and phone number of the calls and made notes that she was with us (One date was on DH's birthday when we took SD to the circus!). Anyway, I have called the phone company to see if I can find out who they have been calling and I am out of luck. Apparently I can't get any info on the numbers for privacy reasons. I explained to the guy what happened and he understood where I was coming from but said without a court order there was nothing I could do. He did suggest that we go to the police because he suggested that technically the phone was illegally used and we could probably scare the crap out of them!
I don't think we would do that but imagining it is kind of fun! I get what y'all are saying about starting an issue with her I just have a hard time being okay with letting her "get away with it" if you know what I mean. I agree the first time she realizes she can't use the phone she will be pissed.
Uhm telling her off won't be any less getting away with it than she already has. Sounds like you just want to go off to make yourselves feel better. Which, trust me, I get that it's tempting. But it really doesn't benefit you at all.
As for the numbers, go to whitepages.com and then to reverse look up. You can enter the numbers and it will at least give you the town and state. Or you can put the number in google. If it's a home number, it will tell you who. And if it's a cell, you'll probably just get city, state, and the name of the carrier.
Click me, click me!
So I told DH what you all said about not confronting her and what you said Hind, about taking pleasure when they find out they can't use it anymore.
DH has decided to take y'alls advice and not confront her, instead we are going to wait and see if she says anything about it. If she says anything to DH about it he is going to flat out tell her that he found out that they had been using it when SD was at our house and that all the numbers have been blocked except for the ones that he has specifically approved. He said he is going to tell her it is because he is a b!tch like that but I doubt he will say it like that.
By the way, I have tried to look up the numbers online (whitepages.com etc) but it just comes back as a city and state and I have to pay for the name. Oh well.
Just out of curiosity, why isn't the phone kept with SD, particularly at the times she's with you? That would put a stop to it as well.
Honestly it would only put a stop to some of it. After looking thoroughly at the bills the phone is being used too when SD is at her after school program that she goes to when she is with her mom. THe other two kids are at the house and apparently use the phone to call BM and her bf. THe phone has also been used in the morning when SD SHOULD be at school ie (7:30 am or so) which we are guessing the calls are being made while the other kids wait for the bus.
We don't have her bring it back and forth because it gets really confusing, and she isn't supposed to have it in school. I don't know that right now she is responsible enough to take it back and forth but that may be an option in the next couple of years.