Looking at a high-risk pregnancy with regards work, with questions

Mrs.R2D2

Hi ladies!  OK, so we have yet to have a BFP, but are (obviously) very confident that IUI's going to work for us.

My conundrum is this - I am a diabetic with hypothyroid who's had a few miscarriages. I do not care to lose any more babies.  Not surprisingly, we've been told that this will be a high-risk pregnancy.

Since I have a stressful job and the world would end if I were to telework, my husband and I have decided that when we do get the BFP, I"m going to need to cut down my work schedule (abbreviated work days). Of course (maybe due to the fact that we're not yet pg?) this was *our* decision, not a doctor's. We start the IUI in a few weeks.

My question is this - how would I broach this topic with my boss? I would prefer not to tell them right off the bat, but I really can't work 14 hour days in my first trimester either if I want to do right by my child. I work for a large firm and have been there a few years, so I'm FMLA eligible - I would imagine that needing to drop to part-time due to pregnancy would be FMLA covered. 

How do I tell him that I need to work part time for medical reasons without disclosing the pregnancy, in a way that does not make me look like a big fat liar/damage our working relationship when they find out I'm pg?  And, is it true that if I spend more than 12 weeks on bedrest, that my company would have grounds to fire me?

Yes, we are on the fence about whether or not I'd even return to work after giving birth, but I'd still like the option to be open,  you know? 

 TIA.  I wish you ladies all the best! 

MKDee

How much leave you have really depends on your company.  Yes, FMLA only provides 12 weeks of unpaid time off, but many companies have policies that allow more time, or allow some paid time that may be taken consecutive or concurrent to FMLA.  Since you mention that you work for a large firm, it might be worth some research to find out what benefits are actually available.  Do you know someone in HR who you could ask (sometimes it's better to ask a "friend" in HR, rather than the official leave department, especially if you are not planning to announce your pregnancy early on).  

I also work for a large company in a department in which very few people have flexible work arrangements. When my pregnancy became more high-risk, I told my boss that I wanted to set up remote access so I could work from home if necessary.  Initially I set it up so that if I had to miss work for doctor's appointments, I was able to make up missed work in the evenings.  Then, when I was placed on bedrest, I told my boss that I would have to work from home or start my maternity leave early.  We had so much work that needed to be done that she was honestly thrilled to have me continue to work from home (and I was thrilled to continue earning!).  So even if your company is not supportive of teleworking for completely healthy employees, your managers may be more willing to work with you if your options are to telework or not work at all.    

Good luck with your IUI and your future pregnancy! 

mysticriver

FMLA covers your job for 12 weeks (it doesn't guarantee that you will get paid, it just protects your job) so it generally covers the maternity leave.  I don't think it would cover your going to part-time.

However because you have a medical condition you may be covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) - I don't know if it would cover your specific case, I would do more research.

That being said I think it's a great idea to dial down the stress - you need to do what's right for your health and your baby.

 It's always best to be non-specific.  Just say that you need to work part time for personal medical reasons.  You wouldn't be a liar, pregancy is a medical condition too.  An employer should not ask all the details (although some do require a doctor's sign-off for accomodations). 

Between bedrest and post-baby hospital time I probably had closer to 16-17 weeks - my employer didn't have to protect my job past the 12 but they did because I had been there for years and we had a good relationship (and probably because it would have cost them to replace me) 

If you've been there for a few years and have a good relationship, they might be more generous than you think.  And if not - well, you need to do what's right for your health and your family, it's better to find out now at the start of your parenthood journey.

Good luck!

one_more_girl

I believe that you have to disclose your full medical reason in order to be eligable for any type of FMLA, disability, etc.  I believe that it needs to come from a doctor, or at least I know it does where I work.  Otherwise people could take advantage of this benefit.  Definitely check with your employer as to your specific benefits in relation to this situation.  Also your doctor will surely agree with your cutting back on work due to your long work hours and the extra stress that will put on you and baby so if you do need his assistance in making your part time happen don't be shy to ask! 

Good Luck with everything!! 

hulagirl09

I think that it would be worth it to talk to your boss about your BFP and your desire to reduce your hours/telecommute for medical reasons.  You can mention that you'd like to keep this news between the two of you till you feel comfortable sharing the news with other coworkers.  Since you work for a large company, your boss may have the flexibility to reduce your hours/workload. 

Or, you can talk to someone in HR about your concerns and what your options are (what your boss can and can't do for you) and they should keep your conversation in confidence.    

I would say that you are a high risk pregnancy and want to take whatever precautions you can.  Good luck!!

 

 

JosieH

My situation is somewhat similar.  I have hypothyroid (Hashimotos), already have elevated blood sugar and was GD at conception (on insulin prior to), then throw on cervical insufficiency with a TAC cerclage.  This is my 3rd pg with 2 prior losses.  I have a high stress job and work about 11 hours a day and commute about 2.5.  My boss is flexible.

You would have to have given birth or adopted or be placed on lFMLA leave to care for yourself due to a serious medical illness. I believe a doctor has to certify your medical leave (at least that's what's required for me here in MA).  FMLA only protects you for up to 12 weeks and employers are typically only required to restore you to the same or equal position.  After that they have no obligation and refusal to return to work after leave expires in my company is grounds for termination.  You could try disability, but again I'm pretty sure you have to be medically qualified by your OB to go on it.

I dialed back the stress.  I told my VP that my baby is #1 priority, but that I'm relying on work to help distract me from the stress of my pg so we could work together on a solution.  I work from home 3 to 4 days a week and spend less time in the car, no grief when leaving for appointments, and he's scaled back on some of my project assingments.  It still gets out of hand at times and then I remind him of my priorities.  Good luck.  It's not an easy balance!

 

itsmyturn2

I know I'm a little late to this, so I'm not sure if you'll see my thoughts, but here I go anyway!

I am a type 1 diabetic also with a hypothyroid. This is my second pregnancy, but the first having to deal with the thyroid issue.

I'm not sure what your A1C's are but I would absolutely make sure they are as close to "normal" as possible and that you are working closely with your endocrinologist to monitor you. I also go to a high risk OB, who closely monitors me and the baby.

14 hours are long days!! Like PP said you would most likely be covered under FMLA and I think if you went to a high risk OB who understood the added risks of being a diabetic and your history they would write you out or reduce your schedule. My OB mentioned at my last appointment she reduced someones schedule so she could test more frequently.

Anyway - I'd be happy to talk more about my experience if you are interested. When I was having my first son, the only info I could find was about GD and pregnancy there was very little out there about T1. My email is schorey at gmail dot com.