Confession

mooeta

After this month we're TTA indefinitely.  I don't know what is wrong with me, for the last 18 months having a baby has been all I've wanted.  I go to the RE and we're making progress and now I just feel so numb and secretly hope I didn't get ku this month.  What's wrong with me?...I wish I knew.

Melaina25

It's been a rollercoaster sweetie, with lots of confusing hormones.  Try and chill and relax and do what's best for you.  Don't make any rash decesions xoxo

bbjoys

::hugs::

I'm not quite sure what to say.  Did something happen to make you feel this way?
 

Mrs. BZ

I would take some time and think about what is best for you.

Mrs.Andreazza

I'm sorry to hear you are having some troubles   Obviously you know what is best for you and what you should do.  What does YH think about all this?  Hope things start to look up for you.  I'll keep you in my prayers!

JennlovesAustin

Hey Moo.  I think it's just totally overwhelming.  I bet you will get KU this month and be elated and then these doubts won't be running through your head.

Could all the stuff that the RE put you on be making your emotions a bit haywire?

Hang in there... we are always here for you.

mooeta

I won't do anything rash.  I just don't know what's going on with me anymore.  I can't remember what it was like just a week ago when I thought of nothing but a baby.  Anyway I just needed to get that off my chest, tell someone.  My DH is confused but understanding he's a good guy. 

sare_bear

Moo, the roller coaster never ends!  Having a baby is such a big change, it's totally normal to question the decision.  I agree with Melaina, just take some time to chill and it will all work out the way it should.

rssnlvr

Hang in there Moo. I can't imagine the toll this has all taken on you--it doesn't surprise me that with all the stress and hardship you've faced with this, your mind is revolting (temporarily) in an effort at self-defense/preservation.

Take as much time off as you need. I'm sure everything will come around and fall into place for you! 

bbjoys

Coming from someone that has been trying for a while, I think the emotions of TTC really f*ck with your emotions.

I know for me, every time the 2ww rolls around, I take on this self-defeating attitude and just tell myself that I know we didn't conceive, and just wait for my period.  Getting pregnant seems like something that only happens to others, but never to myself.  It's like some fairy tale, unreal thing that you only hear about.

I think the disappointment that we've endured all this time creates this scar that gets deeper and deeper with each cycle.

I do still want a baby more than anything, but I have also shared the same feelings that you are having from time to time.  I haven't ever stopped wanting a baby, but I have thought about giving up on trying for a while.

Hang in there, moo.  I hope you figure out what is best for you. 

jennifer_h_rn

Oh, I hope you find some clarity soon.  It could be a lot of the hormones, or the culmination of frustration with TTC for so long.  If you need a break, take a break.  Are you sure TTA is the solution you'd really be happy with?  Maybe you'd have some cliched luck with just seeing what happens?  I'm not too sure what to say.  GL with whatever you and your husband decide on.

bobbidall

Moo, your such a strong person to be TTCing for 18 months...you have come so far.  I don't think I could do it for that long.  Take your time and figure out what you really want.  I agree, no quick decisions. 

ALMA1107

bbjoys:

Coming from someone that has been trying for a while, I think the emotions of TTC really f*ck with your emotions.

I know for me, every time the 2ww rolls around, I take on this self-defeating attitude and just tell myself that I know we didn't conceive, and just wait for my period.  Getting pregnant seems like something that only happens to others, but never to myself.  It's like some fairy tale, unreal thing that you only hear about.

I think the disappointment that we've endured all this time creates this scar that gets deeper and deeper with each cycle.

I do still want a baby more than anything, but I have also shared the same feelings that you are having from time to time.  I haven't ever stopped wanting a baby, but I have thought about giving up on trying for a while.

Hang in there, moo.  I hope you figure out what is best for you. 

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Hang in there.

sazzette

Oh moo I'm so sorry you feel like this but I completely understand. This month has been a little harder than I expected and contemplated to just take a little break. There's nothing wrong with you and you'll see that when you are ready again you will enjoy the process of TTC a little more. GL!

k-mart

Moo, I'm sorry your are having such a hard time. I think only you know what is right for you. None of this is easy by any means. Maybe taking some time to just "re-group" is what you need. When you want something so much and you don't get it, even though you do everything you can think of to get it - it just makes it so much harder to deal with. I think you should take some time and see how you feel. You shouldn't force something on to yourself.

juietbride

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope you and your husband are able to come to an happy conclusion together soon. (((Hugs)))

bannedmonkey

Just one day at a time. Things will work out the way they're meant to. They always do.

imaPrincess

M.Monkey.:

Just one day at a time. Things will work out the way they're meant to. They always do.

I am a true believer of this.  We're here for you regardless of what decision you make!