**Cooker**

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HI.  I just read your post from last night.  Having 2 kiddos takes some adjusting.  Does Nora go to daycare?  When my DH went back to work I kept Lorelei's schedule as "normal" as possible. I sent her to daycare.  Then I had most of the day alone with Abby.  But there was the mornings, evenings and weekends.  How is Miles eating?  Any issues?  Abby is a slow eater.  When we first brought her home she would take about 45min-1hr to eat one bottle!  Trying to get a 2.5 yo to stay busy during that time was beyond frustrating.  Abby started eating faster and was down to about 25 mins.  That was easier to handle both girls. 

You will feel guilty and you will cry - a lot.  It is just going to happen.  Have Nora "help" you.  If you use a bottle have her help you get the bottle ready, get the burp cloth, etc.  Tell her you need to keep Miles awake so can you talk to him whil emommy feeds him.  Even if you are BF she can help get you things you need.  And when it comes time to burp him have her help pat his back.  For some reason Lorelei always wants to help change Abby's diaper.  She got the diaper and wipes.  Now these things don't work every time.  Lorelei's attention span never lasted as long as a feeding so she got to watch a lot of TV.  It was the only was sometimes to handle it. 

Once done feeding do something with Nora - puzzles, color, whatever she really likes.  Just put Miles in a swing or on the floor nearby.  Now the weather is nice you can go for walks or just sit outside - it is good for all of you!

 It isn't always easy.  In fact it took about a month before things became better.  Lorelei went through a period of potty regression.  She was totally PTd and when I would feed Abby she would poop her pants.  It was extremely frustrating, but it passed.  She also got bored with Abby very quickly - she couldn't play with her.  Once she got used to ABby being around all teh time it got easier, but it was hard at first.  Take any help your friends offer or family.  Even if you don't want it.  Also take a shower.  It was the best thing to make me feel alive was to shower everyday - even if it was at 5AM to take a shower alone and put on clothes was a good feeling.  It didn't matter if it was really early. 

Now onto DS.  I have learned one thing the past year.  From the moment of my 20w u/s to now don't read statistics.  It will drive you crazy.  What you read was the average life expectancy.  I wonder how old the data is?  Peopel with DS live longer and longer.  I actually have a cousin who has it and she is healthy and in her late forties.  Yes they can have health issues.  And my Abby has some of the common ones.  I hesitate to post my story about Abby's health issues as I do not want to upset you.  She has a heart defect and respiratory issues.  These are linked to her DS.  You would know if Miles has a heart defect already.  I am assuming he had an echo cardiogram done at birth?

My DH and I realize Abby has some health problems related to her DS but we also know that she could have problems even if she didn't have DS.  We are unfortuantely in the PICU right now and we have seen so many things children can go through.  We have the only DS child in the unit right now and it shows how anything can happen to any child.  As unfair and scary that is.  I am sure you worry about Nora - she could fall, break an arm, get an infection, etc.  It is the same with Miles.  Try not to worry yourself about the possible health problems.  Just live in the here and now and IF (big IF) he gets sick you can deal with it then. 

It is hard not to look online and research things (I just looked something up last night that really upset me), but just remember that what you read is just info.  It doesn't mean your child will become one of the stats. 

Good luck and come here and vent. 

cooker71

Thanks so much for your reply.

Yeah Miles is taking a while to eat and we tried switching him to a faster nipple but I think he was getting too much too fast. I also think he may have reflux but I will talk to his doctor about that at his first appointment.

He did have an echo cardiogram and we are blessed that it came back normal. He passed his hearing test, but we are going to an opthamologist to check out his eyes soon, since I know a lot of DS children have vision problems.

And yeah I need to stop looking at crap online, or at least in so much detail, and just enjoy the here and now. Not much more we can do for now anyway. Thanks again for listening. It's good to have someone on here who can truly understand.?