Baby Showers
Options
Should I have a shower?
I'm expecting our 4th child. Our children are now 12, 9, and 5 yrs. old and this pregnancy was totally unexpected. I gave everything for baby away years ago and have absolutely nothing. My BF and SIL would love to give me a shower, but my MIL says no way, that would be tacky, you can only have a shower for your first baby. I don't care either way, but having to re-purchase everything is going to be a little tough. What do you think?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Should I have a shower?
I'm personally of the camp that showers are for first time parents only - w/ a couple exceptions, though (twins, for example).
however, I feel showers (if they are thrown) for subsequent kids need to be much much much more low-key. As in you shouldn't be expecting people to buy your big ticket items. I get that this wasn't planned, but that doesn't make it anyone elses responsibility to stock you back up on everything you need.
If you want to take them up on the offer, I strongly suggest keeping it VERY small and low key. You already know your MIL thinks its tacky. I'll bet she isn't the only one. So invite only those who you are REALLY close to and you know won't be offended.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
My advice for repurchasing is CraigsList and the friends that you gave things away to. Agree with PP about a small "sprinkle" get-together rather than a full blown shower for kid #4 if you do a shower at all.
Also, create a registry and put whatever you need to buy on it - you'll get the 10% completion coupon to lessen the financial burden when you go to buy things. (Don't put any big ticket items on there until after your 'sprinkle'!)
Sounds like the purpose of the shower is to get gifts. MIL is right. That being said, your close friends may want to do a little sprinkle. Maybe your close friends would like to have a tea or something. Generally 2nd/3rd/4th showers do not involve the big ticket items anyways so it wouldn't help you that much.
I don't understand the need of buying all new stuff (w/the exception of car seats etc). This is my first and we found our furniture on Craig's list and we will be using a lot of hand-me-downs from friends.
I think if you put the word out that you need things then people will find stuff for you. My uncle called yesterday and I am getting the changing table he used for his girls.
If someone wants to throw you a shower, I don't see anything wrong with it. It isn't as if you are throwing a shower for yourself after all. And you are not asking anyone to throw you a shower, they offered. If people think it's tacky, no one is being forced to come to it. A friend of mine got divorced, has two kids from that marriage - 4 and 6. She got remarried, had a baby, and a relative threw a shower for her. Granted, that is a little bit of a different situation, but I never gave it a 2nd though to being tacky since she had a baby shower in the past.
I personally think that you should have a shower if one was offered to you. I don't think it should matter how many children you have. The point of the shower is to celebrate the arrival of a new baby. All of them are special, first or fourth. I do think you should invest in big ticket items yourself. We are having our fourth and we are in the same situation. We saved NOTHING. Plus, our others were girls and this is a boy. We have only registered for small things, like onesies, bottles, diapers,etc. We had to buy the big things ourselves. Try ebay and craigslist. We got some items new for a fraction of the cost.
Go ahead and enjoy! Having a baby is so special. It is always worth celebrating!