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Parenting
BubblyToes
member
I know this has been beaten to death, but Blue, seriously?
BubblyToes
member
in Parenting
Maybe it's because Sarah is one of the nesties I consider near and dear to me. Maybe it's because I have been thinking of them all week long and admire her tremendous strength and grace. Maybe because I've seen Blue take every opportunity to kick someone when they're already down. My heart broke when I saw what she posted, and her continued lame defense of it.
Maybe it's because I have a "thin skin" as she so eloquently stated, or maybe it's just that I happen to care a lot for someone, even though I've never met her in person.
Kill all my demons and my angels might die too. -Tennessee Williams
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I know this has been beaten to death, but Blue, seriously?
not definding blue or anything but someone else did asked the same thing....why is ok for her to ask and not blue?
You know I have nothing good, ever to say about Blue. I really believe she is a nasty person. But I didn't think her post was bad. I think she's worried about her upcoming delivery and also feels like she can relate to C.
I can't believe I just defended her but anyway.
or maybe its just that you are human.
you don't have to know someone to have genuine emotions toward them. enough said. she doesn't deserve to be even thought of imo.
It's her history. I question the motives of anyone who has previously spent time picking on women on a pregnancy loss board.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
I know bubs, she has a pretty nasty streak and like I said I wasnt defending her....just think its kinda odd that she's getting flamed for asking the same thing another nestie asked and that nestie didnt get flamed.
Kinda like a double standard dontcha think
Her post (today) wasn't "bad." It was just inappropriate and at an inopportune time. You don't belabor someone about specific genetic tests that they may or may not have elected to do, four days after they give birth to a child with special needs. It's just completely inappropriate.
Sure, EMT asked a similar question, but with more tact and with some sincerity. Blue lacks any and all tact and sincerity.
And, of all people, she, who chose to terminate a pregnancy after receiving devastating news about her own child's development, should be the MOST supportive person to Cooker right now. She should have shown Cooker empathy, but instead was down right rude.
Chiming in...I just got caught up on the posts recently & wasn't going to say anything b/c it really is getting to the dead horse stage, but I have to agree with Krisbri. I saw at least 2-3 other people post the same question & no one jumped on them. I know you all don't like Blu, but considering what happened in her last pregnancy & her fears now, I don't think she was out of line at all. Like most people here, I think Cooker seems like an awesome girl & I am so sorry for what she is going through. It is great to see everyone rally around her during this time. But the whole thing with Blu totally reminded me of the mob mentality that kind of sucks here sometimes. A more well known/liked person can say something & it is like it has been spoken from the mouth of god....someone less known/liked would get stoned to death for saying the same thing.?
Petty stuff & flaming aside, I am glad Cooker was able to see how much everyone supports her here. ?
Given Blue's past situation, I would say that this weighs heavily on her mind. Considering she is pregnant currently, she was most likely inquiring, not in an attempt to offend/upset, but to gather information.
If it was anyone else that had asked the question, there wouldn't have been such an ambush. I think she deserves to be cut some slack, for sure.
But that's just it. Her response was completely self motivated. It wasn't the time nor the place for her to be gathering information about her own situation. She should have offered support, or not posted.
Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Eleventy billion times DITTO.
I can totally see myself doing something like this. I guess that's why I empathize a bit. I would definitely apologize if called on it though --- as I can't even imagine what would be offensive/not offensive right now to Cooker. For all I know, hearing how strong she is and how blessed she is might be offensive. I think if I were in her shoes, I would want to kick people in their shins if they told me I was strong (especially since I would probably feel the exact opposite). And again, add in Blue's past experiences and damn, I think we can cut her some slack for possibly offending Cooker at this point in time!
That's a good point. I guess it's just a minefield.
Soooooo don't want to get involved, but, well, I am.
Nobody's mentioned Blue's completely douchey response to Miles' birth announcement, where she made fun of his name. The woman has, quite simply, no tact. I don't care if we're online. Or have "thin skin." There's just something called basic human decency. Or restraint. Knowing when to censor yourself because it's just the grownup thing to do.
I mean, seriously, people. You can nitpick this to death, but it was just the wrong thing to ask at the wrong time to the wrong person. If Sarah was Blue's close friend, fine, ask away. But where is that censor in her head that might say, "Hmmm. I made fun of this woman's baby's name the other day. Maybe I should just duck out this post right about now after I say congratulations." No, she chose to dive right in and say something inflammatory, just like she always does. Wrong. Just wrong. Call me old-fashioned, but what she is (repeatedly) is just flat. out. rude. A very unbecoming (to use another old-fashioned word) quality in a parent if ever there were one.
I agree with you 100%, Sulla. She's been a douche rocket from day one, even before today's posts.
And, I'm tired of all the "now, girls... don't judge her. She's been through a lot herself" posts. You know what? BFD. Is it horrible what she's been through in the past? Absolutely. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. However, that doesn't give her a free pass to be out right nasty to other people.
Flame me if you want, but I really get the feeling that she "copes" with her own loss by shitting on others going through tough/unfortunate situations and THAT is the most unbecoming thing about her.
Krisbri:
The reason I asked was like UBMyBaby said it is a completely different experience if you find out at birth and I wanted to acknowledge that. And I know sometimes people do want to talk about the details. However I absolutely apologize(d) if it was the wrong thing to say. I've pretty much never said a bad thing about anyone ever on here (except for an occasional PABST). That is pretty well-known on here and therefore the other nesties would not question my intent like Blue who apparently they have some negative history with. Also, I apologized too...Blue obviously did not.
Lastly, I didn't ask "what the odds were".
THIS is exactly what I'm talking about. No, I can't cut her a break. I understand that she's been through a rough time. I'm sorry for what she's been through, it was a horrible thing, but I don't thinki that has ANYTHING at all to do with the fact that she 1)has a history of being incredibly douchy and 2) the whole name thing. She's freaking proud of the fact that she picks on people's baby names. Her unfortunate situation has nothing to do with the fact that she should have not said anything. She has no tact. At all. I've never seen her say anything supportive of anyone. I've only seen her kicking people in weak moments.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
My problem w/ it is exactly what REOM said---her asking had NOTHING to do w/ concern or empathy for Cooker and everything to do w/ her own selfish motives and concern for herself. Like she was expecting Cooker to take time to put HER mind at ease about her pregnancy or something. ?Totally inappropriate and insensitive and 100% Bluesmoothie
And given that I've seen Blue flame women on the pregnancy loss board for how they choose to grieve, I have ZERO sympathy for her and her past situation. ?I don't think she deserves much of a break from anyone here. ??
I don't know. I certainly don't want to hurt Cooker anymore (or at all if she isn't hurt by all of this banter already). But honestly, no one on here can even pretend to know what it's like to go through what Blue went through. Therefore I cannot, for one second, fault her for wanting to put HER MIND AT EASE!! Christ, I can't imagine but just guessing here --- I think I would be doing ANYTHING at all to put my mind at ease if I were in her situation. For Christ sake, I didn't relax when pg with Joey until I was over 24 weeks, and then even a little more relaxed over 32 weeks. And that was just b/c I had a miscarriage before him. I can not even begin to fathom what Blue has gone through/is going through. Wrong time? Yea, sure. Does she have a horribly negative, heartless past here? Absolutely. Do I have it in MY heart to not hold that against her and give her the benefit of the doubt? You bet your ass I do!!!
And Sarah, I don't believe for one single second that you have zero sympathy for her! Just don't buy it. If that is true, you seriously are not the person I have come to know! The person that was willing to take Cam (and I believe you would have) for me when I was at my wits end when she was 3 months old!
okay, fine. ?zero sympathy is stretching it--of course I have some sympathy for her. ?But I am in awe (and not in a good way) that she could go through that situation and still be such a raging b*tch to women here who are going through their own challenges. ?
I think many of us have felt extremely protective of Cooker today and Blue's comment was just lame. ?and typical, given her history here.
?
And yes, Jodi, I would absolutely have given you a break from Cam when you were struggling with her---because I'd been there, done that and therefore could empathize and sympathize with you in terms of your frustration and exhaustion. ?I couldnt' take her for you, so I tried to be as sympathetic via the internet as I could. ?LOL ?That is what Blue should have been doing today (not feeling sorry for Cooker, but offering her thoughts FOR Cooker and her family, NOT just thinking about herself.) ?
In all fairness, I don't know the "pregnancy after loss" Blue so who knows, maybe I would have the same reaction if I had seen her posts there. I just hope that people can recognize that it is probably utterly ridiculously hard NOT to be selfish when presented with this type of situation.
At any rate, Sarah, I will never forget those days when IE was not working with The Knot and we had to sign in to something else (firefox maybe?!??!) and the posts looked all wonky and you and I were basically the only ones posting and just knowing "you were out there" was helping me! Venting that crap out to you was helping! I don't think I ever properly thanked you for that! So thank you! (Damn wine!)
Coming from me has nothing to do with it, it's the simple fact that you said you have no sympathy for what she went through. You of all people should be more sympathetic than most. You're having trouble TTC and she makes it 20 weeks and loses the baby. If it is as devastating as you say it is not having gotten pregnant yet, how must one think it feels to lose a baby halfway through pregnancy. You don't find that cold and just a very sh*tty thing to say?
LOL all you want, it is what it is.