MMML or anyone from the Natalee Halloway posts

Littlejen22

I just got the book, "Love and Logic for Early Childhood" and I started to scan through it.  One of the basic premises of the book is to set an expectation for a child and then follow up with consequences instead of multiple warnings and their reason is that it teaches your child that their are consequences for their actions and that the real world does not give warnings so children need to learn that if they do not choose wisely that something bad can happen.

I just found it interesting with last nights/this mornings posts.  Now remember I was the one that posted saying I have made those stupid mistakes so I am not judging Natalee but it was interesting especially with some of MMML's comments.

Oh, BTW, so far I think I really like the book.

marrymemylove

Interesting. I can see where its coming from.

My parents used good old fear to get me to not do stupid things and I'm glad they did. I knew there were not necessarily any warnings in real life, that you might be lucky and get away with it but that "it won't happen to me" is pretty stupid. I knew that from a very young age as I had a very delicate head (from medical condition) and though I longed to go on the monkey bars, or rollercoasters, I just would not take the risk because I knew there might be no second chances.

When I grew up I treated drugs and alcohol the same way. And trust me I wasn't a wowser, I certainly got drunk more than a few times. I just made sure I was in a safe place with people I trusted who were sober enough to look out for me, and I never got so drunk that I couldn't pick the obvious mistakes. 

Same went for safe sex. They say teens will always have sex. Well if you know, I mean really KNOW and internalise, that no contraception is 100%, even though obviously you should use it rather than not, you'll be naturally pretty damned cautious about having sex imho. That 1% risk of contraception failure kept me a virgin into my 20s. And again, I was no saint.

 

belle204

I can understand that logic.

I kept thinking about those posts after I logged off. I'm sure what I said came off wrong and like I think it's her fault that something happened to her. I know how easy it is to get caught up in your surroundings, how easy it is for someone to slip something into your drink or snatch you up in the blink of an eye (esp. in a chaotic situation) and harm you, to make you think they can be trusted. But, that is exactly why you have to keep your guard up and think smart. I do not think she was a dumb girl. I think she was young,  vulnerable and an unfortunate victim (not that any victim is fortunate).

I do not agree with MMML's calling her stupid or views of American teens/ young people. And I won't even go into the rape comparison.

marrymemylove

BTW to be clear I said she made stupid choices. That is actually different.

And I DO expect adulthood of American teens. It was twink who didn't if I remember rightly and I was trying to say how can you be so infantilising? Australian teens are doing full time jobs, study in really serious career courses and legally driving and drinking (not at the same time we hope!). I do not think American teens are any less capable of that. But it seems so many people think they are, and thus don't expect more of them.

Same goes for the hijinks at colleges. Yes there are hijinks at universities here too amongst the 18-20 year olds. But it seems a lot less of it and I think part of that is the expectation factor. And the fact that if you fail your BA subjects at college but still scrape up your GPA and get into med or law the consequences are less. Here you're IN med or law from age 18. You get no second chances. 

belle204

My apologies for misreading or misinterpreting.