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Parenting
POLL: Soap in the mouth
Since we are sick of the lay off talk, here ya go. And yes, I WILL judge you based on your answer! 
[Poll]
[Poll] This discussion has been closed.
Re: POLL: Soap in the mouth
it wouldnt be for back talking....it would be for some god awful word AFTER several repeated warnings not to say the word.
It was done to me growing up, so if DC talked back or said bad words after REPEATEDLY being told not to and he was old enough to understand- yes, I would put a bar of soap in his mouth.
The way it was done to me was: stand in time out, bite the bar of soap with your front teeth, and stand there for a x# of minutes. I hated it, but it didn't hurt me.
ETA: I was about 8 when my mom did this to me. So, like I said-as long as my kid understood what would happen if he/she said "that" again I would do it as a last resort.
I wouldn't do it, but I would judge others for doing it
My mom did it to me once & it was completely traumatizing.
I'll make sure to share this with Joe.
I think you WOULD do it, but not at their current age.
I would do it -- and I would do it at Joey's age. And Cam's not too far off. I have threatened Joey and so far, the threat has been enough to get the results I want. If that changes, I will follow through.
If you don't respect me, you will fear me! (I mean that half-heartedly)!
VIVA -- just for you babe!!!!!!
I'm going to admit that this took me a minute...
I think I would once DS was older (he's not even 2 yet). I don't think its all that bad. I'm sure DS consumes more soap during bathtime anyways.
It would be a last resort though, after all other options.
I love these debates. I find it funny when people think that a timeout or whatever always works. They must have well behaved children. Those forms of discipline don't work for all children. My nephew is a terror, has been from day 1. You put him in timeout, he laughs at you or spits in your face. You try something else and he b*tch slaps you across the face. Some kids need more discipline than others.
Grace, would you rather I cage the kid up then? That's not juvenile parenting is it?
See Z, I disagree.
What *is* abusive is hearing a 4 year old back talk their mother and hearing the mother trying to explain to their 4 year old, in nice, at their level tones, why it's not polite to talk back. Yea, cause that's effective! Guarantee that 4 year old who is getting the sweet talking too continues to talk back.
Jodi - for the love of God. I'm actually surprised to hear you would do that. WTF?
I can totally see losing it and hitting a child. I really can. But to go... get the soap.. deliberately put it in a child's mouth... and then what?? I can't even follow through in my head how it would go.
It's fuckedup!
We xp'd!!
We can agree to disagree I guess.
WAIT-- you're ok with hitting a child out of rage, but harmless soap in the mouth is "fuckedup" SERIOUSLY??!?!!
Liam is 5!
I don't think I would but I've learned to never say never--who knows about the future...I had it done to me a time or 2 (or more) as a kid & was not traumatized in the least. I guess I just was not that sensitive of a kid...my parents punished a lot harder than that & I still don't feel any of it scarred me at all. And I do want my kids to have a healthy dose of fear--it kept me from doing a lot of naughty/dangerous things growing up--LOL!
I'm shocked that you are shocked!
I do reserve the right to change my answer since, as I have said, I haven't ever actually done it. I have threatened it though.
You know I didn't put them in the crate, right? I would hope that's clear to people. LOL
Jodi, Take away the things they hold near and dear to their hearts. That's my M.O. It works pretty darn good too.
BTW, I don't threaten soap with swear words. They just aren't that important to me.
I DO threaten for two things --- 1. tone and 2. back talk!
"What *is* abusive is hearing a 4 year old back talk their mother and hearing the mother trying to explain to their 4 year old, in nice, at their level tones, why it's not polite to talk back."
Um- I fail to see how that is abusive??
I would never do it, just don't see the point. I don't care if anyone else does and really don't judge for it.
And FWIW Z was not saying she agrees with hitting a child anyone who has been on this board for a while knows that. Go back and read her post again.
Grace-- yes, I know they are playing in that sig pic
I'm just giving you a hard time.
alpine -- it was a bit tongue in cheek however nothing makes me cringe more than seeing a mom trying to rationalize why it's just not proper to talk back. Dude, there is no rationalization necessary. I am the mom --- I said so! We'll discuss the rules later in the game!
Grace --- I can take ANYTHING away from Joey and he doesn't care. Actually, he has helped me put his items in time out before. He's a tricky one. Although the Easter Bunny brought him a Nintendo DS and *that* he does NOT want taken away (and I did take it away the other day because he refused to pick up the pillows that he had brought from his bedroom to our bedroom). He was not happy and I was --- I was happy I found something that he cares about enough that if I take it away, it gets a reaction!
ami, she didn't say she was okay with it. She said she could understand it because it's something that would happen in the heat of the moment. But to think it through and still do something so ... well, so cruel is what she can't understand. I know Zenya's stance on this and I agree, personally.
I can guarantee you Zenya's not advocating hitting your child.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
I'm not 'OK' with it but I get it.
I will never understand deliberately inflicting pain on a child though. You know the whole 'never spank in anger' thing? I find that chilling. That you could calmly inflict pain on a child.
Ditto.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
Glad to know people don't think I put them in there.
Though the thought has crossed my mind more than once.
Jodi, I can't really take actual things away from my Natalie as much as I can take away activities to get her attention. She loves to swim so during the warm months that's her currency...colder months it's the park. It sucks because sometimes me and Owen get "punished
" right along with her but it works. For Owen sending him to his room works well.
Oh ok, I see what your saying now-- I'm sorry.
FWIW- i don't see soap as "painful"... it's just taste nasty.