Daddy time?

RRHsMom

What special things does your DH do with your LO consistently as their time?  

DH was gone at a bach party this weekend and then home "recovering" all day Sun.  Today he had to work late, meaning I had to take Ryan to swim practice with me and hold him while I coached for an hour and a half (NOT FUN!)  Then when I get home, I ask DH does he want to do dinner or give DS a bath thinking he'd pick the latter and he chose dinner!  I just wish he would come in and instantly take over with Ryan.  I have had him non stop for 3 days now and it isn't that I don't love being home with Ryan all day but I just want DH to take over when he gets home.  I just really realized how frustrated I was after this 3 day stretch but it is like this all the time.  When he does take DS for me while I cook he brings him into the kitchen and stands by me saying "I know, what's mommy doing?"  I don't get why he doesn't get some toys out and play with him!!!

So what does your DH do?   Sorry to vent.  I try not to do that but needed to tonight.

RubyRed7

I am sooo sorry to hear, but sadly I hear this exact same complaint all the time from my stay at home mom friends! I stayed home for 5 months and I had a few days I felt like that, but my situation is very different. My husband has been pretty much unemployed since baby was born, and only works a couple of week here and there. And now that I'm back to work (4 days a week) he stays home with the baby most of the time!

But I have to say even when he does work, he loves baby time. When we're both home we split baby duties 50/50. But that never required any discussion! So I'm luck...

Housework on the otherhand, TOTALLY different story!

 

RRHsMom

Ha ha!  The housework is mostly mine as well but DH does cook dinner on my coaching nights and he does all the yard work  

DH doesn't seem to mind watching Ryan for me when I need him to but it just seems like he doesn't know what to do now that he is older.  When he was a baby he loved holding him and just cuddling.  I would have thought keeping up with him now would have been more natural but I guess not.  The only thing he has told me he doesn't like is bath time but I don't know why??? 

kcswifey

I am a stay at home mama too.  My DH and LO don't have much time together since my hubby gets home at 6:15 and Logan goes to bed around 6:30/7:00.  When he gets home he usually takes Logan and plays for a little while.  If he hasn't had his bath yet DH will do that.  He usually puts his jammies on, gives him his juice/H2O/vitamin bottle, and reads books.  Then I nurse Logan and put him to bed.  On the weekends things are pretty much 50/50 or DH might spend a little bit more time with the little guy so I can get house stuff done.  He likes to play with him on the floor, they watch sports and some kiddie shows together, he'll push the stroller if we go on walks...  There have been some times when I get aggravated with DH and have to tell him to do things with the baby.  For example, one time he came in on his phone with his buddy and talked to him for 15 minutes while I carried Logan while trying to get dinner ready...he got an earful for that and it hasn't happened again!   I hope this helps you with some ideas (in no way is DH perfect, I do lots of venting to my friends and I try to explain to DH that it is hard being at home by myself talking to a 7 month old all day and sometimes I NEED a break!).  GL!

ijack

That is so frustrating and I know how  you feel!

I *made* DH take over bedtime. I decided that it was the perfect opportunity for him and it gave me time alone to prepare dinner (DH doesn't cook).

If I were you I would decide where you think he can help and tell him, guys aren't good at subtle

RubyRed7

ijack:

If I were you I would decide where you think he can help and tell him, guys aren't good at subtle

I agree! Maybe your dh just isn't as comfortable with him now, and there is only one way to fix that, more time together! Sometimes it's easier if he has certain things that are his to do, like bedtime or bathtime etc. If he's not into that you can just call it "daddy time" during a certain time slot each day, so that's part of your routine.

Either way, I wish guys would just "do" things without having to be asked. But if he says yes when you ask, you still have a pretty good guy on your hands!

RRHsMom

Thanks girls!  I do agree that I just need to be more direct.  I should have asked him to bathe Ryan tonight instead of giving him a choice if that is what I wanted.  Guys don't pick up on that even though we wish they would.  I supposed when it comes to picking out his first bday toy in the next week or so, I will ask DH to pick something he thinks they can do together.  Then it will be his idea and a good toy for him to know ot go to when I need him to take Ryan off my busy hands for a while.  

You guys are great!  I try not to vent but am glad I have you all when I need to.  I felt better just postin git and getting it off my chest.  I am sure I will feel even better when I talk to DH about it as you all suggested

Goodnight! 

TriciaJoy

We REALLY, REALLY struggled with this for a while. David had never even held a baby before Robbie and then comes this tiny, tiny one.

We fought and fought about it. FINALLY, the last few months, he's getting better. I've also started being very direct. "I"m going to make dinner. Here ya go." "I'm going to take a shower. HEre ya go." "I need to pump. Here ya go." and just hand the baby over. I don't ask. I tell. I mean, I'm NICE about it, but I'm here all day. I need a break.