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I am so hurt... vent

debisheldondebisheldon
in Multiples

So I don't have a ton of friends. But the friends I do I have i always thought were the best. Well, I am semi amazed about their lack of commitment to seeing me. They all know I am on bed rest. Some have come to see me and let me tell you, I look forward to these visits more that anything. I have this one friend who we have been trying to get together with for months. We were supposed to get together before and they bailed. Then we set something for next weekend. I emailed her when I was first put on bed rest and I haven't heard from us. So I emailed her again today to see if we still on for next weekend. She has bailed again. I can't even tell you how hurt and upset I am about it. I feel bad telling her that I am upset b/c that just isn't my style. I am more of a cry by myself and keep it all in kind of girl.

And I understand that people have lives and things come up but if I had a friend on bed rest, I would make seeing them a regular thing even if I was never put on bed rest myself.

Anyways, thank you for reading. And thank you all for helping make this bed rest stuff less hellish on me. Coming here a million times a day helps. 

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Re: I am so hurt... vent

  • jlc071903jlc071903 member

    I know EXACTLY how you feel, I had this same thing happen to me MANY times while I was on BR, I have to be honest, I am no longer as good of a 'friend' with those people as I thought I was b/c of the way I was treated while I was on BR.  One even had the NERVE to contact me via e-mail and state that they hadn't seen me in FOREVER and what was up...DUH jerkfact, I'm on BR meaning I may be back home from the hospital, but I STILL can't go anywhere or do anything. 

    I'm so sorry your friends are letting you down. Unfortunately crisis like situations prove to us who we really can count on. :(  Keep your chin up, you're doing great, I know you have a long time left, but you can sooooooooo do it and term babies are so much better than preemies...much less stress for you. Keep up all your hard work!

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  • JustaKidAtHeartJustaKidAtHeart
    I felt the same way when I was on bed rest.  Its hard because they just dont understand.  HUGS
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  • sweatersweater

    Oh sister...no one will ever know until they themselves have to go thru it.

    I spent MANY weekends alone in the hospital because the weather was "beautiful". I lost out to the sun constantly (started in-patient on May 21 for 9wks).

    I VOW that I will visit any friend on bedrest during the sunniest/nicest days.

    I even had a friend tell me (in the middle of the stay) how fantastic of a summer it was with the weather and that THIS summer beat out many of the pasts. Um...thanks...that's why you only visit on weeknights. neat.?

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  • twinmama2btwinmama2b
    I have a friend who constantly asked me to lunch once I went on maternity leave / modified bedrest and helped throw my shower ect.... Now that the babies are here she has never asked to come see them. I told her she was welcomed to see them anytime and she said she had been sick but come on..it has been over 3 months and we have been home from nicu for 9 weeks. Sad
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  • BrongemongerBrongemonger member

    I am so sorry. Maybe your friends feel unsure of what "bed rest" means. Like they think you're totally frail and exhausted and can't handle guests? If people are being rude, I am very sorry!!

     Just spend lots of time here, the ladies here can make anyone feel better!!

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  • mmbenchmmbench member
    In the 10 weeks I was on bed rest, I had exactly 3 visits from friends.  And one "rescheduled" on me twice.
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  • lexmarie85lexmarie85
    i know how you feel..my maid of honor was my cousin at my wedding..i was very close with her..i got pregnant 2 months after the wedding and never heard from her again..
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  • kimby3679kimby3679

    I'm so sorry. I know it sucks. I don't have many good friends either and I know how much it hurts when they show their true colors. My best friends was supposed to me by maid of honor at my wedding. I saw her 2-3 times after I got engaged and even paid for her dress because I knew she was short on cash. I tried calling a number of times after and never reached her. My  mom tried when planning the shower as did DH and they either got, 'bad time call you back' or just plain hang ups. I never talked to her again and its always bothered me.

    Thats why I was so glad when I found this board!There's always someone who "gets it"

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