DS's teacher is really making me mad!!!!

knmommy

I had a lengthy phone conversation with DS's teacher 2 weeks ago concerning Nathan going to summer school.  I had heard from someone (Nathan's non-involved bio-father aka spermdonor) that due to him not doing well Nathan was going to be attending summer school.  News to me, I just had his IEP meeting with all of the special ed teachers, along with Nathan's regular teacher.  They were all amazed with the progress he was making this year.  So I called his teacher, she informed me that spermdonor was e-mailing her, asking about the dates for summer school, and if Nathan was going.  (he wanted to pick his dates for summer vacation)  She told me that she told him, Nathan was only considered because he had gone in the previous years , to keep a routine. (and Nathan was really behind in reading in the previous years)  This year she said that he is doing very well and is above the year-end benchmark for reading.  She also informed me that summer school was only 4 weeks for 2 hrs per day.  (it would just make Nathan upset, that little won't help him maintain a routine)  I then told her that I'd rather him just not go to summer school, and asked her good websites to get stuff to work on this summer. 

Fast forward to today, I just got a call from the office saying that a summer school spot has opened up (he wasn't excepted primarily) and that Ms. teacher said he may benefit from going.  WTH, I have already told DS that he didn't have to go this year, and I am just so infuriated!!!

Brewster

You're the primary care giver, right?  It is 100% your decision to make.

FWIW, I teach special ed.  I have a  student who could benefit from going to summer school, but his mom declines every year.  I am fine with that.  It's summer and I am sure your son is working as hard as he can.  He deserves a break too.  Just be sure to do some practice at home and I am sure it will be fine.  The teacher is probably just worried after so much progress this year, he'll show regression next if he doesn't do anything this summer to keep up.  KWIM?

Temp574971250006741

If this is not mandatory for him to continue to the next grade and you can do things at home to maintain a routine then I would tell the office thats nice but no thanks. I would be upset to as you had already told his teacher your wishes. I may also ask the teacher if possible that all correspondence regarding your son should only be made with you and not the sperm donor if you have sole/main custody.

knmommy

I think what makes me the most angry is that summer school was not even discussed at his IEP meeting in Feb, (it has been every other year, he's gone to summer school every year he's been there) and then she told the spermdonor that Nathan was put on the list before even mentioning anything to me!  She knows I have sole custody, she told me she tried to limit his information.  I don't care what info he gets, I'd just like to know first! 

Why is it that now not sending him to summer school makes me feel like a bad mom?  I am just sad now.

Brewster

Seriously, don't feel bad.  I am surprised the teacher/admin is even talking to your son's dad about this stuff.  They should be going through you.  Our district has so many rules about this sort of thing b/c we have seen way too many lawsuits.  Is it in your court order some where that you are the one making these sort of decisions?  You may want to give them a copy of that, so they know the dad can legally not go around you like this.