WWYD(Long)

Nikki1007

Yesterday DH told me about SIL. She has been TTC a year and is scared and starting to get really frustrated. He says she wants to talk to me about it but is scared.  I have told DH to tell her she can call me anytime, but I think she doen't know if I want to talk about it, ya know?  She is researching tests etc. and wants to see an RE, but her Hs schedule makes it kind of hard and if he takes a day off work for it he does not get paid.  So she is thinking about seeing a gyno in town so he does nto have to take off work (All the REs are about 45 mins away.  I really wish I knew what to say to her. 

Other SIL is TTC too and has gotten pregnant first try both times (This last one ended in m/c) and she gives DH advice so I am sure she is giving this SIL advice and her advice sucks-"Make it a game and have sex everyday, see everyday as an oppurtunity, dont deal with charts and drs." I want to give her some good advice.

Should I call her and bring it up, or just make sure DH lets her know I am here and let her call me when she is ready? I saw her at the gym yesterday and she looked like she had been crying and it broke my heart.

Mrs White

Can you send her an email letting her know that you understand how much it sucks and that you are there if she wants to talk.  This way she can respond when she is ready?

LTF525

If ya'll are really close then I would definitely call her. If it was me (with my SIL) I would probably send her an email, just letting her know that I was available to talk if she wanted to and letting her know what I have been through. The nice thing about an email is that its not as invasive as calling her and putting her on the spot, but it opens the door for communication if she wants to talk.

mb~zf

I got an email from a friend right before we started the iui process and it was really thoughtful.  I would maybe do that.

Nikki1007

We are not super close and I have never emailed her before...Would it be weird to do it now?

XXXXX222

Nikki1007:

We are not super close and I have never emailed her before...Would it be weird to do it now?

No, especially if it's thoughtful but brief. ?TTTC (IMO) is so difficult because there aren't many people to talk to IRL. ?Having someone there that understands would be wonderful. ?I say email her. ?

LTF525

sulfababy:

Nikki1007:

We are not super close and I have never emailed her before...Would it be weird to do it now?

No, especially if it's thoughtful but brief.  TTTC (IMO) is so difficult because there aren't many people to talk to IRL.  Having someone there that understands would be wonderful.  I say email her.  

Ditto. I think she would see it as really thoughtful.

pmarie33

I would tell H to tell his sister that you said it was OK for her to call you.

HikerBride07

pmarie33:

I would tell H to tell his sister that you said it was OK for her to call you.

HazelEyes730

Either sending her an email or telling your DH to let her know she can call you would be good. I think as long as you let her know some way that you are available to talk anytime it will help. That way she can contact you without being put on the spot if she's not up for talking about it.

easjer05

I agree with the others.  Let DH tell her you are happy to talk to her or send her email saying that you are definitely open to talking (in person or via email or phone or whatever).

Matsifloxacin

ditto p

Stacy092306

I agree with everyone else.  An e-mail from you or DH telling her that she can call and talk to you both give her the opportunity to respond when she is ready. 

ajk612

I would have DH tell her to call you when she is ready and that you'd love to talk to her.

ebat

I'd send an email,  you could even mention you're sending it b/c it's less pressure than a phone call.  Sorry for your SIL

yogisunam

Definitely send an email. Short quick to the point. "Hey I heard you are struggling, just want to know I am there too. It sucks. You aren't alone and if you ever want to talk, I'm here. Avoid SIL at all costs."

This also reminds me to email girl that works with DH. She's struggled with rpl, though I believe she is taking a break now to plan her wedding to her longtime bf.

Dr.Loretta

I'd shoot her an e-mail or text message saying you were available to talk. She probably thinks your H is being nice but isn't sure if you want to really talk to her.

Good luck.

QCinOct

yogisunam:

Definitely send an email. Short quick to the point. "Hey I heard you are struggling, just want to know I am there too. It sucks. You aren't alone and if you ever want to talk, I'm here. Avoid SIL at all costs."

I agree with Yogi. She is wise

Serendipitie

Great advice here - I would definitely shoot a quick email. Nobody should have to feel alone in this. I am so sad for the women who don't have a support group like I have with you guys