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Parenting
Because I am super bitchy today...
Here are all of the things I've been thinking about this morning. Flame away.
American Lung Association-don't call me and tell me you're not asking for money but you are going to send me a package so that I can stuff and stamp letters to all of my neighbors on my street. Until postage is free you are still asking for money. Don't try to dress it up as something else.
Whomever it was who brought their sick child to playgroup last week with no concern for all of the other kids you would be interacting with, I hate you.
Moms on this board who think they are the worst mom in the world because "my kid is watching tv" or "I gave her a cookie one day last month" need to shut up. You don't honestly think you are a bad parent because of this. You just want to show that you are a better parent than the rest of us. And if you honestly think you are a bad parent because of this you need help.
I'm going to come out and openly sit in judgement of those parents who never let anyone else take care of or watch their child. When I see posts about kids who have never been apart from mom overnight or even for a few hours and they are three years old, I cringe. Is it because you don't think anyone could take care of your child as well as you do? Or is it because you think your child will not be able to handle it? Either way you think way too highly of yourself.
How big does the "No Soliciting" sign on my front door have to be for you not to ring my doorbell while my girls are sleeping?
And I've already posted about Dr. Jenny McCarthy, but I still hate her.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Because I am super bitchy today...
I agree with this one.
LOVE this & totally agree.
And on the flip side...I openly sit in judgement of those parents who constantly pawn their kids off on people b/c they have this to do or that to do, or they're too tired, or it's not convenient for them to come grocery shopping, to the car wash, to Target, with mommy or daddy.
You have kids. You signed up for this. DEAL.
Love it. And I have to say I agree with most of it.
And on the flip side...I openly sit in judgement of those parents who constantly pawn their kids off on people b/c they have this to do or that to do, or they're too tired, or it's not convenient for them to come grocery shopping, to the car wash, to Target, with mommy or daddy.
You have kids. You signed up for this. DEAL.
amen!"
Ethan {1.11.10} & Malia {12.28.06}
Well, thanks for judging. I actually have not let anyone watch my daughter except for my aunt. The sole reason is because my mom was molested multiply times when she was younger. Because of her issues, she never let anyone watch us. It was also drilled into me from a very young age that NO ONE is to touch my personal parts. EVER. I have very serious issues and I was not even molested.
And by no means do I think too highly of myself.
Christmas 2011
Liam is 5!
Will you come stay the night with my kids, then? Because, I guarantee it will just as traumatic for YOU(or whoever else is foolish enough to offer) as it will be for them. Mine children are creatures of habit. They like their routine and if you stray from it, there is hell to pay. It's not that I think I'm the only one who can do it right, it's that I love my friends and family too much to make them suffer through a bedtime routine with my children just so I can go out before 8 pm.My kids go to bed early enough that it has never impacted our/my plans for a night out. If they wake up before we get home, they can just watch a movie til we come back and put them to bed.
As for never leaving them overnight(by choice. I did when I was in the hospital having Emily)-- if they were to wake up in the middle of the night and my husband or I were not the ones to go and get them, they would FLIP THEIR ***. Sometimes, if they are expecting me and my husband goes it, they still flip out. We're used to being woken up in the middle of the night and operating on little sleep. Other people are not. If it's a necessity for us to be away--oh well. But, I'm not going to leave my children by choice until they are old enough to understand when we'll be back and trust that whoever is watching them will take care of them.
You can judge me for this; that's fine! I make these choices with the best interest of my children at heart, so I don't see how you can fault me. I just want them to be happy and to sleep well.
Yup, looks like she is! And so am I!
And honestly, I don't think EITHER of us are WORRIED. Just judging!
"
Ethan {1.11.10} & Malia {12.28.06}
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Word for word. ?
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That's a pretty crappy thing to be judged for. Must be nice for those that have the opportunities to leave their kids overnight with someone else but not everyone is afforded that luxury. Shame on all of you who would judge someone for something so incredibly ridiculous.
Liam is 5!
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Not just like leaving the kids with grandparents, but have you not traveled out of town and had to leave him with your husband?
You wouldn't judge me if I told you that L has spent the night away from more more times that I can count on my hands and toes? ?at all?
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See, now, if this were me, I'd be doing everything in my power to have my kids adapt better to spending time without DH and I. Even for sleepovers. You just never know when you're going to have a situation come up where they will need to do just that. I'd rather have them prepared for it.
Ditto Stacy and to add. Some of us work full time and just don't want to be away from our children in addition to the 40+ hours a week we don't get to see them, so DEAL with that!
First, I am so sorry that your mother went through that. I can't imagine the pain that has caused her and the rest of your family. It does make me sad, however, that the man who did that to her still has so much power this much later. Like you said, she passed those issues down to you and it sounds like now you will pass them down to your DD.
I'm not suggesting that you leave your child with just anyone. I also know that these kinds of things can happen even with people you know. But I hope someday you won't have to live with those kinds of fears anymore. I truly do.
No, I haven't had to leave DS overnight with just DH. I don't travel for work and there really hasn't been any reason to be anywhere else overnight. The two times that I have traveled I took DS with me and that was to see my parents so of course I would bring him. It has nothing to do with me thinking too highly of myself either. DS is a pretty easy kid that goes to bed at 8 and STTN till 6 or 7. He'd be a dream for anyone to take care of. There just hasn't been a reason to leave him overnight.
And I would never judge you in any way shape or form for leaving your child overnight with a responsible caregiver. Like I said, it's a ridiculous thing to be judged over.
Liam is 5!
In my opinion, going away on your own, leaving your dh and your child behind is way different than what the OP was talking about. Your husband is not a babysitter. I think what stacy is saying is that she doesn't have anyone around her that can watch her child overnight. Not everyone has close family nearby or family who is willing. What are you supposed to do in that situation?
It is unfair to judge and say that the only reason they wouldn't leave their child is because they don't think anyone else is worthy to take care of them or their child couldn't handle it.
I know we have only had a chance to have dd spend the night away from us a couple of times for that exact reason. The closest family we have are my IL's who live about 50 miles away, and they both work Saturdays. If they have a vacation they can take her, but otherwise they can't. And any close friends we have have children of their own. I surely don't expect them to spend their weekend taking care of my child plus their own.
I agree with your post in general, but this one really bothers me. People need to loosen the hell up and get over their control issues.
It's been very difficult for me not to pass these fears onto my daughter. It really has. FWIW, my mom was molested by 2 very close family members for years.
My mom passed away almost 3 years ago. Her father (he was one of them) felt very guilty. He passed away 2 years ago. I so badly wanted to stand up to him, for her (and I guess for me), but I never got the balls to do it. I just felt like if I could say some things to him, maybe I would release some of my fears.
I think I will loosen up now that Emily can talk. But unfortunately, I will have to have a talk with her that might scare the crap out of her. I'm not going to drill it into her like it was done to me, but I will talk to her.
I just really wish people would not pass judgement until they know the whole situation. What works for your family does not work for every family. Ya know?
This is how I feel, and always have. My dh and I get our date nights once in awhile, we do special things together after R is in bed, and we have been away for a few days alone while she stayed with grandpa and grandma. The truth is, I don't get to spend a lot of time with her or my husband during the week because of work and my photography gig. I cannot wait for the weekends to come so we can all hang together, and so R and I can do our girl stuff. I couldn't live without that time.
It is all about balance, imo.
Um, I know MH isn't a babysitter. ? I am still L's primary care giver, and it throws him for a loop me being gone. ?HOWEVER, we want him to be able to adapt to change, so other people can put him to bed.
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I guess we are also fortunate enough that-- even though my dad lives 50 minutes away, and my mom 2 hours away-- they beg to take him for a weekend. ? Have fun, kiddo! ?I love you, but it makes me a better mom when I am well rested and get a little me time. ?(Just like jenniliz said above.) ??
DITTO, I hate to be away from DS anymore then i have to be! I see him for a half hour in the morning and then 3 hours at night before it's time for him to go to bed. He has never spent the night anywhere and it's not because i dont trust anyone, I just dont want to be away from him.
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?Hey, I work full time too. ?MH works nights, so M-F it is just me and L. ? I need that break every couple of months, even if it is for just a couple hours.
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Okay, I'm done.?
This:
See, now, if this were me, I'd be doing everything in my power to have my kids adapt better to spending time without DH and I. Even for sleepovers. You just never know when you're going to have a situation come up where they will need to do just that. I'd rather have them prepared for it.
This is what I've thought. Is it that children were put into a structured scheduled environment that leaves no room for change by the parents, or was it the child that can't function w/out at schedule?
I honestly ask because DD isn't on a tight schedule at all, and it's worked for us because she doesn't flip out if she's not in bed at 8:01. But, I know I say that naively because there are lots of kids who need structure. But I don't get if it's the parents driving the structure or the child.
When DH injured himself to the point of a 911 call, I was really glad DD could spend the night at my parents so I could focus on getting DH home after surgery, etc, and not worrying about her.
Christmas 2011
Not everyone has the perfect situation where they can just drop their kids here or there whenever and do what they want, when they want. It would be really nice if that were my case--and I used to think it was, but apparently it isn't anymore.
That totally cracked my sh!t up this morning! (Pun intended!)
I'm going to come out and openly sit in judgement of those parents who never let anyone else take care of or watch their child. When I see posts about kids who have never been apart from mom overnight or even for a few hours and they are three years old, I cringe. Is it because you don't think anyone could take care of your child as well as you do? Or is it because you think your child will not be able to handle it? Either way you think way too highly of yourself.
This pissed me off until you kind of corrected yourself. While I've let my parents and sister watch my daughter so we could go to a movie or dinner, they aren't able and also don't want to watch her overnight unless its an emergency. My parents are in their late 60s and my dad isn't in the best health. And my sister has no kids and lots of plans.
No other family is that close to me to feel comfortable to have her watched by them. Not to mention we cannot afford a night away for fun and haven't been able to in a long time.