Introducing myself

julandjo

I've been lurking for a while and feel it's time to say hello!  DH and I have two biological children and plan to adopt our third.  We were blessed to be able to conceive with the help of fertility treatments.  My pregnancies have both been high-risk however, with multiple hospital stays, extended bedrest, preterm emergency births, NICU time, etc.  Basically, pregnancy (and post-partum) is a very unhealthy condition for me and any baby I carry.  I've got two amazing children to show for it, and we definitely want a bigger family, but I'm not at all interested in reproducing again. 

We hadn't really discussed or considered adoption until about a month ago.  I'd been thinking about it but hadn't mentioned it to DH, and one day he tossed the idea out.  Ever since then we've talked and prayed about it nonstop, and we're so, so excited about it.  It makes no difference to us whether our children are biologically related to us or each other. 

Right now we're in the research phase.  We want to pursue a domestic newborn/infant open adoption.  We're open to any race, and are reading up on how best to raise kids of different races together.  My question is about timing.  Our youngest is 6 months old.  Since we can't afford 3 kids in daycare (3 days a week), we're waiting a while.  I fully understand that everyone's wait time varies, but I don't know how long the paperwork/home study process typically takes before you're considered "active".  If we'd like to have a baby when our youngest is 3, when should we get the ball rolling?

Sorry for the novel!

BurkeJax

Welcome to the board.  You have beautiful children.

 

 

Dr.Loretta

Welcome to the board. No need to apologize--we all have to get our story out there.

We are doing domestic infant adoption. We are planning to submit our application this week, and should be accepted into the program shortly thereafter. From what I understand, timing is somewhat based on you for the background check, since you're the one who has to get the paperwork together for fingerprinting, criminal background check, etc. At that point I have heard about a 2-month wait for all that to clear. I think during that time we'll actually be starting our homestudy process, which for us means 2 meetings at the agency, and one visit at our home. We also go through instruction on putting our profile together, actually do all of that, and then we go "in the books".

If we're putting our application in this week, I figure the background checks and homestudy will be done by the end of July at the earliest, then the profile will get put together and we would go in the books sometime in the fall. After that, our wait could be a day or 2 years. Our agency has a shorter wait time for AA/mixed race children, and I would assume that applies across the board as far as agencies go.

That's just my personal experience and timeframe from someone who's VERY early in the process.

HTH

Honeydew1894

Hi and welcome! It is nice to meet you. Your children are so adorable. :-)

CaptainSerious

Hello, and welcome!

The paperwork to become "active" doesn't often take that long in DA.  Many families can get it done and have their profile available to birth families in 3-6 months, from what I've seen.  As Dr. L said, this generally depends on the adoptive family getting their paperwork together without delays, and the agency following through in a timely manner.  The uncertain part of your wait will be waiting for a match, and if it is before birth, throughout the pregnancy and official waiting period during which the biological parents can change their minds.

If I were you, I would start talking to agencies now.  You'll need to research your options anyway, and there's no reason it can't be done now (with a brief follow-up to make sure nothings changed by the time you're ready to start the process).  While talking to the various agencies, I'd ask them for time estimates for families like yours.  The trends seem to indicate that prospective adoptive parents who are open to a child of any race get matched sooner, but families with children already in the home tend to wait longer.  So I would ask, specifically, how long, on average families like yours wait for a referral with each agency.  The estimates you receive may give you a better idea of when to start the process officially.

Good luck!

julandjo

Thanks so much for the great info!  And the compliments on my babies.